Finding Bella
by LovelyHonour
Summary: Imagine the horror if Edward were to come across Bella for the first time whilst she was bleeding to death? He and the rest of the Cullens have some tough choices to make about the girl who now has no one in the world to take care of her; aside from seven vampires. He had 3 choices: 1. Leave her there to die 2. Kill her himself 3. Take her home to a house full of vampires
1. Chapter 1

****Chapter 1****  
"Bloodlust"

I placed my ancient copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ on the oak side table when Alice's quiet footsteps intruded on my attention. I've read the overrated book more than I care to admit and I still conclude that I hate it every single time I reach the tragic ending. I wasn't sure why I felt the need to keep revisiting the world of the Montagues and Capulets; the tangled lives of the two young lovers were far from something worth envy.

"Can I help you?" I asked Alice, raising my eyebrows when she poked her head through the doorway.

 _Chess?_ she thought at me.

A hopeful, one-worded question from the single person who should know better than to ask. I understood why she always came to me—despite the fact that she already knew my answer—and part of me regretted my constant dismissal. Alice and I, we had more in common with one another than we did with the rest of our family, and we had bonded through the years over our odd gifts. Hearing voices in your head and seeing visions of the future wasn't easy, and we tend to stick together.

"You'll cheat," I replied truthfully, sitting upright.

"So will you," she argued.

"The difference between the two of us under these circumstances is that I can't help it. You _choose_ to cheat at games. Why don't you ask Jasper?"

"You know I did—I asked all of them but they won't play with me." She pouted, as if that would make me do want she wanted. "I can see that you won't change your mind but to answer the question you're going to ask me in approximately four seconds... I _will_ go hunting with you instead."

I rolled my eyes, standing up slowly.

 _Count me in,_ Emmett thought from down in the living room where he was watching the first Seahawks game of the season with Carlisle and Jasper. The three of them missed it last week for a hunting trip, and left Rosalie in charge of recording it for them. They'd stayed away from any sort of internet and television so that their fun wouldn't be spoiled. It being September 13th, they were almost a week late. I found it incomprehensible how they could—after so long—still be entertained by trivial human sport.

"No one invited you," I answered his thought rudely.

 _Well, that's a shame because I'm coming anyway.  
_  
"Emmett is coming with us," Alice announced, obviously only paying attention to the future she was seeing in her head.

"I don't know if you missed that conversation just—"

She told me to shut up before skipping out to my balcony and leaping over the edge, landing as gracefully as ever on the concrete below. I followed her no more than a second later, just as Emmett practically flew out of the front door, a grin plastered on his face. He tried to shove me playfully but I dodged his hand smugly. He turned on Alice but of course, she saw him coming, so his attempt was futile.

"No wonder nobody wants to play chess with you." He chuckled before taking off into the familiar forest ahead of us.

"He infuriates me," Alice hissed, a frown on her face as she sped off too.

 _Don't let them kill each other,_ Esme pleaded from Carlisle's study.

"I'll try my hardest," I promised my mother in amusement before following two of my four siblings.

I hadn't moved six steps before I heard Emmett's wail of frustration. I reached them moments later to find him emerging from the river, dripping wet. I suppose it didn't matter that the rain had now stopped, not for him at least.

"Why didn't you warn me?" he snapped. "Or better yet, why didn't you physically stop her?"

"Because." I shrugged nonchalantly. This isn't the first time Emmett has ended up in the river. "Let's go."

We began our run simultaneously, all three of our minds becoming solely focused on what we were made for. When we give our senses to the hunt, there is little that could prevent us from killing our prey. As much as we wish it wasn't, blood is a necessity. We _could_ live without it, but the desire would never go away and it would only get progressively worse—until we aren't able to control ourselves any longer.

That's when humans would be in critical danger.

We hunt creatures we can find in the forest or in the mountains. It is the way of existence we'd chosen, but that didn't mean humans were not still at risk. Our instincts tell us that we crave blood, but we don't get to choose whose blood we want. If we're strong enough, we are capable of resisting the humans. However, the desire never goes away.

The day was young so darkness had not yet fully left the sky. This made it easier for us to find larger prey. The nocturnal creatures aren't as satisfying as the deer, or the grizzly bears, or the mountain lions. They will all be beginning their morning as we are. Our most common prey is deer, simply because they roam closer to home and are quicker to catch. My family, with the exception of Emmett, aren't inclined to fight with our food or to chase it too long. The quicker it's done, the better for all of us.

"There's a herd by the waterfall. Head West," Alice told us to save the time we would waste trying to catch scent of something.

We swerved left to head in the direction Alice pointed out. I knew the area well as it was near a meadow I often escape to. I could find it blindfolded. It's the perfect place to clear my head, with no humans nearby. My mental gift means it's difficult to ever find silence. However, my family give me my space as much as I try to give them their own. It's a messy system but we make it work.

As we drew closer, the flames in my throat rose. The anticipation to cure the burning was overwhelming, just as always.

I could hear the herd now. There would probably be a few fawns, perhaps with their parents, and another couple of adults. It was hard to tell but I'm usually quite accurate with my guesses. We would leave the young ones, primarily because they aren't much of a meal. It was almost sad, truthfully, that they would be left with no means of protection. It was likely that something else in these woods would kill them, or they would starve. That, however, was the pitiful reality of life.

We reached them then and I realised that my guess was on point.

I waited until the absolute perfect second, giving the largest male no time to make a run for it, and I pounced.

* * *

"Edward, when you're done you always manage to look just as you did before you hunted," Alice told me approvingly once she had finished the slim female she had taken down.

"It's not difficult," I told her, glancing at her blood-stained jacket.

"It is," Emmett argued, shoving his hunt to the side. "I'm covered in mud," he whined, swiping his hand up the side of his face.

"Maybe if you didn't wrestle the poor thing you wouldn't be," I responded, straightening my shirt.

He immaturely stuck his tongue out at me, swatting a fly that had just tried to land on him. Why the minuscule creature ever thought that was a wise idea is beyond me.

"I think being wet has made it worse," he said, sending Alice an undeserved glare. "Rose is going to kill me, she bought this shirt."

He grunted, deciding for us all that it was time to start heading home.

I hadn't taken one step forward before the wind carried an extraordinarily appealing scent in my direction. I gasped, my eyes widening in panic. Though I had just hunted, this smell set my throat on my fire, and I clutched Emmett's arm to hold myself there. I was coiled, ready to launch myself in the direction it had come from. The only thing stopping me was fear—the scent was human. It wasn't just appetising, it was _too_ strong. Blood had been spilled and the monster in me was thrilled by this fact.

"Someone must be hurt," Alice said, smelling the blood too, though she didn't react in any way similar to me.

"I think we should leave," Emmett said, taking note of my inescapable grasp on his arm. The face I saw in his mind when he looked at me was horrifying.

"We can't just leave someone if they're hurt," Alice snapped, giving him a look that conveyed the obviousness of her words.

Silence fell upon us.

I could barely concentrate on either one of their thoughts because I was so busy trying to collect mine. I couldn't, for a few thorny moments, think of anything other than this person's blood. The fragrance froze me in place, making me feel like I was about to pass out. Of course I wouldn't, though I wished in this moment that it was possible.

 _Why didn't I see this?_ Alice questioned herself irritably.

"Yeah, why _didn't_ you see this?" I hissed, trying to think clearly. "It would have been nice to have some warning."

I gasped again, trying to get some fresh air into my lungs. I couldn't compare the scent to anything I'd encountered in my entire existence. It wasn't something I recognised so whoever it is definitely doesn't live in Forks.

"That doesn't matter right now," she snapped back at me. "We need to go and see what's wrong. Are you going to be able to control yourself?"

I managed to focus for a split second to question whether or not I could handle going near a person who smelled this... _perfect_. I couldn't concentrate on the fact that this appeal was extremely unusual because I was too busy trying not to kill someone. I wasn't particularly in the mood to deal with the eternal guilt that would follow.

"I don't know," I whispered, doubtful.

"I'm not trying to sway your decision or anything but, other than dad, you know the most about anything medical," Emmett reminded me, though he did not have to. "We'll need your help."

I knew that the three of us, three _vampires_ , were the closest help this injured person had. We were all in the middle of nowhere. No one would hear any screams, nor would they ever pass through to find a body. The fact that we had heard no distressing sounds during our hunt made me ponder how long this person had been here for. Hours? _Days_?

I could leave now, get as far away from here as possible. I could leave Alice and Emmett to sort out the situation in whichever way they thought was best. I worried, though, that they wouldn't know what to do. Being cautious when dealing with an injured person is imperative, one wrong move can be fatal.

Ha! How foolish it was for me to doubt their capabilities when I might possibly murder this human myself.

There were three options now: kill, run, or help.

What an impossible situation!

Killing an innocent was never acceptable to me, and so I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure it didn't happen. If I were to avoid that outcome definitively, I would have to leave. However, if I leave, the human nearby would most likely die.

Was going towards the wounded the best option, then?

Next, not breathing seemed like a decent plan.

"This might be the most stupid thing I've done in eighty years," I muttered, shaking my head. "I'm going to hold my breath. You'll have to lead the way."

The two of them nodded before sprinting in the direction the scent had travelled from originally. I ran slightly behind them, anxious the whole time that I might not be able to stop myself from... I shuddered.

A stranger would mean nothing to me; nothing at all.

"I think she might be in your meadow, Edward," Alice said, speeding up nervously.

"She?" Emmett repeated.

"The fragrance isn't musky enough to be masculine," she told us. "There's no way this isn't a female."

"I have a bad feeling about this," Emmett said, looking at me, eyes calculating. "Edward, I really think you should—"

"Oh," Alice whispered, taking in the sight before us.

A young girl—no older than 18 or 19—lay almost in the centre of the flourishing meadow. Blood stained her clothes all around the left side of her torso and the sight didn't appeal to me like it should have. Her scent was forgotten momentarily. I was so completely disturbed that I wanted to wipe my memory; I wanted to never see this image ever again.

Dread washed over me when I took note of her stillness.

She was breathing, which was a good thing.

I was not breathing, which was also a good thing.

We moved towards her slowly, all of us testing ourselves before we got too close. Her hands were also covered in blood, possibly as she had clutched her wound to try to stop the bleeding.

Alice moved suddenly, startling me. My eyes widened when I assumed wrongly why she had shot forward. Her thoughts revealed to me that she was simply worried; that she wasn't going to harm her. I had some nerve worrying about my sister hurting her. Alice knelt beside the girl to see if she was responsive in any way. She spoke to her, asking her to squeeze her hand if she could hear her, but she didn't move an inch.

I probed at her mind, trying to decipher if she could hear us but was possibly too weak to respond. I wasn't only greeted by complete silence, I was greeted by a _barrier_. It was almost as if my attempts were rebounding. The only silent minds I had ever encountered were dead ones. And she certainly wasn't dead, not yet.

"I can't..." I trailed off in disbelief. "I can't hear her."

"What?" Alice asked, frowning at my random announcement.

"I can't hear her thoughts," I said, distress evident in my tone. "Even when people are unconscious I can always hear something, even if it's not intelligible. I—I don't know why..."

I tried reading her again, failing. Of course, knowing my lack of luck, if the situation wasn't bad enough, my one helpful ability had to abandon me and make it even worse.  
Alice hesitantly lifted up the girl's shirt. I was so distracted that I was about to question what the hell she was doing. I quickly understood that she was trying to see her wound. It made me want to look away—I didn't want to see _this_. I couldn't force myself to turn my head, however. Removing the thin fabric from in front of her wound revealed to us that she had been shot.

Stupidly, I lost concentration for a split second because of the shock, and I sucked in a massive gulp of air as I gasped.

"Edward, don't panic!" Alice shouted, trying to help me regain some sort of composure. "I see that you're not going to hurt her! You're going to help her! You're going to help her because if you don't, whether you kill her or we leave her, she's going to die."

She's going to die?

How could I possibly allow an innocent young girl to die for something someone else had obviously done to her? She hadn't done it to herself, there was no gun in sight. If I left her here, that would make me an entirely different kind of monster.

 _Breathe, Edward,_ Alice demanded. _You have to trust me, you're not going to be able to do anything until you get yourself under control.  
_  
So, I breathed again.

And again.

And again.

With every breath of air I took in, I reminded myself that I didn't want to be _this_. I told myself that I wasn't going to let what I am end the life of an innocent person. But, it was difficult to reason with the monster. I grabbed Emmett's arm again, afraid that I would throw myself at the girl's unconscious body. He wrapped his large hand around my wrist, ready to pull me away the second I attempted anything I would regret.

 _Look at her,_ he thought to himself. _I wonder how the hell something like this even managed to unfold. What is she doing in the middle of the damn forest on the border of Forks?  
_  
"Edward, what do we do?" Alice asked me frantically. "Should we take her to the hosp—"

"No, if we take her to the hospital we'll have to answer too many questions. The police will get involved and they're going to want to know why the three of us were in the middle of the forest on our own at this time nowhere near a trail," I told her, shaking my head. "It's too risky."

"Should we call Carlisle? Tell him where we are?" she wondered, her golden, panicked eyes never leaving the girl.

I shook my head. "It will take too long, she's bleeding out right now. She's going to need treatment and the others won't be able to bring everything he'll need to treat her," I explained, debating what the best course of action was.

I stepped towards the girl, telling Emmett to let go but to stay close behind me. The last thing I could do right now was take chances. I tried to be as calm as Carlisle always was in these situations. It took my father hundreds of years to gain the control that he now has in his medical practice. How could I ever compare to that?

Alice crawled over to sit by her head when I knelt down right beside where the wound was.

Blood was pouring out of her body too fast.

I practically ripped off my sweater, telling Alice to lift the girl's head slightly incase she choked on either vomit or blood. That would be an unnecessary added complication. I tied the fabric tightly around her body, having to use guesswork again because she wasn't conscious to tell me if it was too tight. I shook my head, when it instantly started staining with her blood. Her clothes were soaking; she had obviously been here through the worst of the downpour during the night. The absolute only confirmation to me that she was even alive was her beating heart. She was paler than anything, paler than _me_ , and completely unmoving.

"We need to get her to Carlisle," I said, trying not to look at my blood-covered hands. "Now."

"I would carry her but I'm wet, too, and I don't want her to be colder than she already is," Emmett told me, thinking only of the girl's wellbeing.

"I'll carry her," I said, before Alice could offer. "Alice, I need you to go ahead and get Jasper out of the house. It's too dangerous for him to be there with her. If I can barely hold myself together, there's no way he will. Tell them we're coming."

She nodded, giving the injured girl one more glance, and running back the way we came.

"I need you to stay in case..." I trailed off, knowing he knew what I was referring to.

I stared down at the girl, taking a long look at her peaceful features. She was completely unfamiliar. I had never seen her in person, nor had I seen her face in anyone's thoughts. Her very long, mahogany-coloured hair was spread out around her head, some of it falling on her face. Emmett reached forward, as if reading my thoughts, to move it carefully out of the way.

I sighed.

Take her home or she dies.

Letting myself accept that this was in no way, shape or form a good idea, I moved one arm under her arms and the other under her knees to pick her up as carefully as possible. It was unbelievably strange to have physical contact with a human because it's something we tend to avoid, an imperative aspect of keeping our secret hidden. I wasn't sure how gentle I had to be. Nor was I sure how to ignore the blood gushing out of her body.

"This is a large inconvenience," I whispered more to myself than Emmett.

"Let's go," he mumbled, leading the way.

"You're going to be fine," I whispered to her, unsure of who I was trying to convince with that statement.


	2. Chapter 2

****Chapter 2****  
"Edward's Promise"

She stirred slightly in my arms, making me halt my fast run in alarm. The fragile girl didn't have to see the impossible pace I was moving at. The last thing anyone needed right now was exposure.

 _I'm sure that would make the situation a whole lot easier_ , I thought wryly.

Worried that she was regaining some sort of consciousness, though I had no idea how that was possible, seen as she was currently bleeding to death, I began a brisk walk towards our house. I tried very hard to concentrate on the reason behind the desired destination, not the uncontrollably desired meal.

She was shivering violently and a frown had now formed between her brows. Her eyes fluttered open but she squeezed them shut again, the progressive lightening of the sky blinding her momentarily. She whimpered, the sound registering in my mind as one of pain.

She must be in agony.

A strange impulse surged through me. I found myself wishing I could relieve her discomfort. Surely someone so young, so breakable, didn't deserve this. Someone, some _thing,_ like myself most certainly did. So, why was she the one who had to suffer? Her agony, though, was the only thing in the world keeping my focus off of her sweet blood. The flames in my throat were growing worse and I couldn't stop myself from letting out some sort of groan as the monster threatened to murder the girl I was trying to save. I decided that I couldn't take too many risks, so I stopped the air flow to my lungs for the second time today.

Her eyes flew open a moment later, making mine widen in response to the fear I saw in their chocolate brown depths. I took this opportune moment to try to delve into her mind but it was useless.

I frowned. What a sick world. It had never been more important for me to get into someone's head yet, out of seven billion humans, her mind was the one I couldn't hear.

She tried to squirm out of my arms in panic which only made me hold her tighter. She whimpered again in pain and I realised ruefully that I had pushed down on her wound accidentally. I didn't like knowing I was hurting someone, whether it was intentional or not.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, holding her as far away from my body as I could.

My voice only made her panic more and I didn't know what to do to calm her down. Waking up in the forest, bleeding heavily and having a _strange_ , _cold_ _man_ carrying you understandably would be quite terrifying. I reminded myself that the last time she was awake, there was the potential that she was held at gunpoint so she was probably very confused.

"You're okay," I told her, trying to make my voice sound softer than it usually did. "You're safe."

 _Tell her who you are, idiot,_ Emmett snapped loudly at me in his head.

I had no choice but to take in a breath of air to speak again and the burning that accompanied it made it rather difficult to get any words out. But, I had to. I had to make sure she knew that I wasn't going to hurt her; even if I didn't know that.

"My name is Edward," I introduced myself quietly and her squirming ceased almost instantly, as if learning my name made her safe. Her sudden calmness confused the hell out of me, not just because she had been involved in something traumatic. I was puzzled because she should still want to get away from me, like every other person would if they came into contact with my kind. It was a natural human response to danger.

"My brother, who's walking just in front, is called Emmett. We're taking you back to our home. Our father is the best doctor in town," I assured her.

"It hurts," she whined, her voice raspy but... lovely.

"I know," I answered her honestly. "Not for much longer though, I promise. What's your name?"

"Bella."

"Bella," I repeated quietly. "Okay... Our house is—"

She blacked out again, her body going limp in my arms. I had to adjust her slightly so that her head didn't tip backwards, and instead rested gently on my shoulder. The sound of this poor girl's voice was a momentary distraction. The second she was silent, the burning became very loud.

"Oh dear," Emmett mumbled, looking back at her seemingly lifeless body.

"Come on," I demanded, before taking off at a run whilst she wasn't conscious to see it.

As the house came into sight, I willed myself just to get her there and get out. I wanted her blood beyond tolerable limits so in an attempt to tame the monster, I repeated her name over and over and over in my head. To the monster, her name didn't matter, but to me it did. I was stronger than him. I had to be.

Emmett and I burst through the front door and Carlisle was right behind it, ready to help. I handed her as quickly and carefully to him as I could, stepping away from them afterwards.

 _Oh, bloody hell,_ he murmured in his mind, staring down at her in pity.

"Her name is Bella," I sputtered, before backing out of the house and into the safety of nature.

Her scent lingered in the area so I moved in the other direction, hoping to find some fresh air. When I did, I gaped like a fish out of water. I could taste her on the back of my tongue but combined with clean oxygen it was almost bearable. _Almost_.

* * *

Years could have passed and I would be none the wiser as I sat on a fallen tree contemplating my entire existence, after I had scrubbed my hands in the river to rid my impenetrable skin of her blood. As much as I tried to forget her mouth-watering scent, it became almost impossible when her pale face kept appearing in my mind. I tried to recall exactly the way she looked, only just noticing that my attention hadn't been on much other than how she would taste. I hadn't properly memorised her face due to my trepidation.

I was far enough away from my family that I couldn't hear their thoughts. I wasn't in the correct frame of mind to answer their questions right now. It wouldn't do anyone any good at all.

I began to wonder what I was meant to do now. If I go home, it's at the risk of killing her. The monster would surely be unleashed again and this time the consequences would be unthinkable. I mean, simply the memory of her scent was overwhelming. Perhaps, that was because her scent wasn't just a memory; I could still smell her on my own shirt. It was a miracle that I'd managed not to get her blood on my clothes.

I shook my head. No, I could not go back home.

So, what option was there other than to leave? I could travel North, to the Denali coven. They are the closest thing to extended family we have. They would let me stay there until I figure out what to do. Or, until my family decides what to do with the girl.

Moments later, I heard Alice approaching. I was thoroughly irritated because she was here, annoying me when I wanted nothing more than to be left alone. Her thoughts reached me before she did.

 _Edward, she's awake. Don't ask me how because nobody knows. She's freaking out! She keeps saying your name; asking where you are. Actually,_ demanding _to know where you are is probably more accurate.  
_  
Well, that complicates things.

"Alice, it's not a good idea for me to go back there right now. I don't think I'll be able to control myself."

"Edward," she mumbled, finally arriving. "If you were going to hurt her, you would have done it whilst she was bleeding out. Carlisle has stitched her up. He doesn't understand how she's alive never mind awake. She needs to rest but she's absolutely traumatised. He was going to sedate her but didn't want to frighten her more. She won't let anyone come near her, not even Esme. I'm surprised you didn't hear her shouting at us from here."

I frowned, my internal battle still raging.

"I can't trust myself, Alice. You don't understand."

"Well, for some strange reason, she seems to trust you," she replied, with a non-humorous laugh. "I remember very well how it felt to feel the way she is right now and it's not something I would wish on anybody."

"She's not bleeding anymore?" I double-checked.

She shook her head.

"Now, not to rush you or anything, but she did just rip a needle out of her arm in her panic so it'd be great if you could get over there and show face."

I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. Nothing good would come out of this; nothing good at all. If I go back there, I could very easily lose the control I had before. It was more likely now, I thought, than it had been a few hours ago when we found her. Was I willing to risk an innocent life _again_?

"Edward, seriously," Alice pushed. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you but you leaving would do more harm than good. You're the only vaguely familiar thing she can cling to right now. For the girl's sake, go and see her."

The irrational, yet exceptionally moral, part of my brain tried to convince me that it would be the right thing to do. She shouldn't have to be afraid and if having me there somehow made her feel better, then surely that was enough reason to go back.

I sighed in frustration.

"It's too dangerous," I hissed, standing up.

"Oh," Alice whispered, her mind filling with one of the most horrific images I had ever seen in my entire existence.

There was blood everywhere, all over the bright white carpets in our home. It was seeping into all of our sofas, splattered up the walls, and in a crimson puddle around my piano bench. Her vision ended with Jasper covered in someone else's blood.

I clutched my head, hating that I had no choice but to stand there and watch what she was seeing. I wanted to delete the day from existence, never to have to go through it again.

"Edward," she whispered, eyes wide. "The future was pretty senseless whilst you were still undecided." She paused, staring straight into my eyes. "Because you have made up your mind that you can't go home, you've subsequently decided that you must leave. If you do..."

She didn't have to finish her sentence, for the future had already shifted in multiple new directions based on my conclusion: I couldn't let that brutality happen because of me. There was no time for me to sift through what she was seeing.

"When?" I snapped.

"The time is indefinite but Jasper is wearing those clothes today."

"Why are we still standing here?"

We both took off simultaneously, flying through the trees in our haste to get home and get Jasper away from the house. They should have kept him away indefinitely. He couldn't be trusted. After everything that had happened today, I wasn't going to let someone else ruin it. I'd demonstrated more self control than I ever thought possible. Yet, there was no guarantee that I would be strong enough to keep it up. Even the thought of her scent resulted in the flow of fresh venom in my mouth.

We reached the house in minutes but I stopped outside, having to collect myself mentally before I even considered entering an enclosed space that had the girl in it. I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn't completely indestructible; that my self control could shatter in a split second. Every little movement, every breath, would have to be careful.

"I can do this," I whispered, hating myself for taking the risk.

"For her," Alice added quietly, trying desperately to make me feel like I was doing the right thing here.

Am I?

Morally, yes.

Realistically, no.

I climbed the porch steps anxiously, taking my time on purpose. I was in no rush whatsoever to go into that house and face whatever was to come. I couldn't even seek reassurance in Alice's ability to see the future because mine was shifting so erratically that she had no idea what the outcome of this would be.  
I took one last gulp of fresh air and followed Alice into the house. Initially, I was greeted with the scent of bleach where Esme had obviously went straight to the floors to clean up the trail of blood I saw in Alice's memory. It must have looked like a crime scene in here a little while ago. Sadly enough, I actually deeply cherished the scent of the toxic substance because it meant that for a few grainy seconds, the girl's scent was not at the centre of my thoughts. I cut off my breathing, deciding that bleach would be the best thing to taste on the back of my tongue rather than her blood. It wasn't a pleasant smell but it was safer.

I hesitantly made my way upstairs, to the spare room Carlisle had made into a failure of a makeshift hospital that I could see through his eyes. No doubt, he would rectify that as soon as the girl was stable enough to be left without a doctor close by. He could do the same thing a heart monitor could simply by using his ears. He has spare things in our garage; things he stores for the hospital. That' s most likely where he got the needle drip that Alice mentioned.  
Louder than anything, I heard Bella's fluttering heartbeat. She was standing unsteadily, I could see in Esme's thoughts, by one of the bookshelves in the room. She was wearing Alice's clothes, I recognised, but they were slightly big even though Alice was tiny like her. I quickly realised that I had been correct when I'd thought she was underweight. Her face was tear- stained and the terror she was feeling was very obvious. It was horrible to see someone so incredibly vulnerable, even though it wasn't with my own eyes.

"Honey, why don't you sit down so you aren't straining your body," Esme's sweet voice travelled down the stairway I was climbing.

She stubbornly shook her head.

"I'm sure Edward is on his way, he went for a walk with one of his brothers so they could give you some space," she lied easily, watching as the girl's eyes scanned around her for any danger.

"He's coming?" Bella asked timidly, swiping some tears from her cheeks.

"Any minute now," Esme answered softly.

I stopped on the landing outside of the room, questioning my sanity. God, I thought I had lost it when I went on a _justified_ killing spree over seven decades ago but this time I was surely a goner. If my body could tremble, it would be right now.

"Just remember you're doing it for her," Alice whispered as she backed away from me to go downstairs to see to Jasper. She had mentioned this fact so many times that I was starting to get irritated. "That will see you through. I promise."

Then she was gone.

 _Well, here goes nothing,_ I thought sardonically, knowing I was a fool the entire time the words were passing through my mind.

Slowly, slower than I had ever moved before, I pushed open the door.

I wasn't sure what the girl's reaction would be, nor was I sure what mine would be. Would I kill her? I certainly hoped not because I truly didn't know if I could live with myself if I did. It's one thing killing someone who has done wrong but it's a wholly other thing to kill someone who is innocent.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting her face to show but I most definitely was not expecting her to look _relieved_. That's not quite what a human is supposed to feel when standing in a room with three vampires. Not that she knew what we were, obviously, but humans have instincts to protect themselves. Their subconscious warns them we are dangerous even if they don't truly realise it. Right now, I had no way of knowing what she thought of us. Hell, none of us had any way of knowing anything about her and for the moment, I was the best bet. I had her trust.

With her trust, it would be so easy to lure her in.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I was supposed to say anything at all. My mother and father in this life were telling me mentally to reassure her but the words wouldn't move from my brain to my mouth. For a solid minute, I could do absolutely nothing but stare at her small form.

"Do you want to sit down?" I asked her, trying to sound calm.

Carlisle's glare told me it was a moronic question. Clearly she didn't want to sit down or she damn well would be already. Esme looked mildly amused by my struggle but her concern for Bella masked that. I was oddly concerned as well, more so about the possibility of me harming her. My thoughts were all over the place; scattered in the meadow where we found her and everywhere else I'd been today.

She stared me down for a moment, almost checking to make sure I was the same person she had been asking for. Though I couldn't read her mind, as you've gathered, I could see the wheels turning in her head. She was conflicted. She knew it would be best for her health but she was too frightened.

"Would it help if Edward sat with you?" Carlisle asked, making my eyes pretty much leap out of my skull. "Beside you?"

I gave him the most deadly look I could manage but he pretended not to notice. Esme shot a warning glance in my direction, for Bella had obviously registered that look I gave him as threatening. I looked to her again, offering as reassuring a smile as I was capable of. It probably looked more like a grimace.

After being thrown to the sharks, I made my way over to the bed Carlisle had set up and hoisted myself carefully onto it. I didn't look at her, letting her make up her own mind. It was a long couple of minutes, I'll tell you that. But, eventually, she moved to do the same. She struggled to get up on her own due to the strain of stretching her torso. She had a long sleeved jumper on so it was safe enough to touch her without the fear that she would feel my cold skin. I leaned over, placing one hand under each elbow, and effortlessly lifted her up.

I winced when I heard her sharp intake of breath due to the pain.

She should be lying down. She shouldn't even be conscious.

I winced again when her sweet breath fanned my face. I quickly realised I had subconsciously started breathing which is a mistake I can't afford to make again. The desire that flooded through me was insatiable and Carlisle was very aware of that, though he made no move to make it easier for me.  
His thoughts revealed that he was testing me.

Great timing. Really, it is.

Esme, however, looked stunned that I had willingly made a move to touch the girl, but I decided within myself that it had been necessary. It would have looked unnatural and almost silly if Carlisle had to walk across the room to help when I'm sitting right here.

He nodded to me approvingly. I wasn't proud of myself, not at all.

"You need to rest, darling," Esme said.

"I can give you an injection that will put you to sleep for a few hours, just to give your body some time to begin the healing process without any unnecessary stress," Carlisle told her, keeping his distance. "I won't do anything you're not alright with, not now and not ever," he promised.

Her frightened gaze moved to me and I had no choice but to look down at her. Those eyes were the closest method I had to understanding what she was feeling. It would be beneficial to have Jasper here, of course, seen as his gift was concerned with understanding and often controlling emotion. But, we were in the midst of impossible circumstances.

The look she was giving me said it all.

She was asking _me_ what to do.

"I think that's the best thing you could do right now," I told her honestly, doing anything but think about how close she was to me; how close her blood was to me. I could see it through her translucent skin. It was extremely distracting.

"I d-don't want to sleep," she whispered, her eyes slowly falling to the floor. I could see the slight glimmer of tears welling up in her ducts and the last thing she needed was to cry.

"You're afraid to sleep," I accidentally blurted out, quite pleased that I had managed to unravel one of her thoughts. "But, we won't let anything happen to you."

"Will you stay?" she asked.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone more terrified of rejection. She didn't want to be alone, that much was clear. I'm not sure what my face looked like to her right now but clearly she took it the wrong way because she was quick to clarify.

"Just until I fall asleep, then you can leave," she whispered. "Please _._ "

Without permission from me, my frozen heart literally melted inside my chest. Her need for my presence, something no one had ever needed, made me feel something I hadn't felt for a very long time.

It made me feel genuinely happy.

Well, that's actually rather sick, Edward.

"If that's what you want."

She nodded, just a slight movement of her chin, but it was a nod.

"Alright," Carlisle mumbled, eyeing me carefully. "Would you like to lie down on the bed for me, Bella? I'll just go and get what I need from downstairs. Edward, why don't you stand over on that side?"

As I moved, a little glint of sunlight crept its way over the carpet towards us. I had to step very close to the bed to make sure it didn't hit me. As a large cluster of clouds passed over, the unexpected sunlight disappeared, giving us time to sort the situation.

"It's a little bright in here, don't you think, Edward?" she asked, silently guessing that Bella would agree with what I said.

"It is actually, it's giving me a bit of a headache," I muttered. "Why don't we close over the curtains? I'll put the corner light on," I suggested.

"Great idea," my mother said, smiling when I turned my back to do what I said I would. She quickly made her way over to the glass wall, closing the curtains in one swift movement.

"Bella," Esme started when we both returned to our former places. "I noticed, when the sun hit your hair, that there's a beautiful shade of red in it. Is it your natural colour?"

She nodded.

"M-my mom had s-sort of auburn hair," Bella said quietly. "She would always tell m-me that I got all of my best things from her. N-not that I ever agreed."  
She smiled. By God, it was a small smile but it was there.

Esme and I shared a warm look with each other. The two of us couldn't help but notice her use of the past tense, but it was the first glimpse into her life that we'd had.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with a gut feeling. I had briefly considered the trouble we could be in if there were people searching for her, but my uninformed instinct was that she was entirely alone. She hadn't asked for anyone, other than me, and you would think asking for a loved one would be the first thing on someone's mind. However, I wouldn't be able to tell you what she was thinking. You know, because I can't hear her thoughts.

It severely irked me.

Carlisle entered a few seconds later, carrying numerous things that I didn't care about enough to look at. Whatever he was doing was for the benefit of the girl and that was enough for me.

"Closing your eyes sometimes helps," I suggested, unthinkingly.

Why can't I keep my stupid mouth shut?

"Edward speaks from experience," Carlisle said, grinning in bittersweet amusement. "Once upon a time, he had to have an unbelievable number of injections for different things."

"I've had lots, too," Bella replied. If I picked it up correctly, I'm sure there was a little bit of humour in her tone also. "I-I, uh, I'm a little accident prone," she admitted.

An inviting red stained her cheeks at the embarrassment of her honesty.

"This wasn't an accident, though?" Carlisle asked, trying to unveil a small detail.

Her silence effectively answered that.

Definitely not.

"Alright," he continued, ignoring what just happened. "Are you ready?"

She looked at me for a few moments and the corners of my lips twitched upwards, a genuine smile this time, because I knew I wasn't going to hurt her right now. It was bearable, her scent, when I wasn't thinking about it. When there were more important things to worry about, her blood dropped down a few places on my list of priorities.

"No," she whimpered, seeing something in my eyes that put her on edge.

"How about a promise?" I asked, clutching at straws in my attempt to keep the calm in the room. We didn't need her getting _more_ anxious.

"A promise?" she questioned, intrigued.

I chose my words carefully. "If I promise you that I'll be right here, exactly where I'm standing now, when you wake up, will you let my father help you?"

"Yes."

"I promise you that I'll be right here, exactly where I'm standing now, when you wake up."

At that, she closed her eyes.

"Mom," I mumbled, thinking that hearing us talking would reassure her. "I have an essay due for English Literature after the holidays but I'm not sure what I should write about. It has to be on one of Shakespeare's plays but I've already written on the ones that interest me."

I actually felt uncomfortable watching Carlisle put the needle in her arm but Bella didn't even flinch. She seemed to be focusing intently on keeping her breathing steady. Her breath hitched, though, I didn't miss that.

"Your Othello one was interesting. The Macbeth one before that was also engrossing. I know it's not your favourite but why don't you try Romeo and Juliet?" she suggested, sending me a knowing look.

"I'll consider it," I murmured to humour her. "I do hate the story."

"It's my favourite of Shakespeare's," Bella slurred, keeping her eyes shut.

The unexpected revelation stumped me. I didn't know anyone who had willingly read Shakespeare's work never mind someone who actually had preferences like I did. Furthermore, I was a little mystified as to why that would be anyone's favourite.

"I wonder why," I pondered aloud. "I'll be sure to ask you about that when you wake up."

"Okay," she whispered and I couldn't stop myself from chuckling.

Her heartbeat slowed and her breathing evened out a few moments later, alerting us that she was no longer conscious. The second she wasn't aware, I made way for the door, wanting some fresh air. I didn't actually _need_ it, I realised with relief, but I knew it was a good idea.

"Edward, your promise?" Carlisle reminded me.

"I don't intend on breaking it," I assured him. "I'll be here long before she opens her eyes."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**  
"The Vote"

I didn't stay out long, I wanted to return home to the discussion I knew was going to have to take place regarding Bella.

I didn't even go into the forest, I stayed at the bottom of our porch steps. Something held me there. I wanted to stay close enough that I could still hear her heartbeat. The reason for this, I think, is because I didn't entirely trust Jasper being back in the house, though Alice had assured me that he wasn't going to harm her with me here because I would stop him. It seemed ridiculous to push our luck in this way. We'd already had to remove him from the vicinity twice. Even though I should be able to rely on Alice's judgement, I was unusually anxious that she could possibly be wrong.

When I re-entered the house, my entire family was in the living room. It was the first time today that we'd all ended up in the same place. I stared them down as I approached, taking note of their stillness. If Bella is going to be here for any length of time, as Carlisle's thoughts suggested, we were going to need to work on the looking human thing.

"I think you'll all agree that today is a very strange day," Carlisle started, giving me a pointed glance as I needlessly sat on the sofa beside Esme.

"That's an understatement," Emmett mumbled. "I think the closest word I can use to describe the way I feel right now is tired."

I understood what he meant by that. It's impossible for my kind to become tired in the sense that we need to sleep. It is, however, very possible to feel mentally drained. I did indeed feel exactly that.

"Well, considering the situation, we don't want to make any hasty decisions. We will discuss this as a family and figure out together what the best option is," Carlisle, the voice of authority in our family, decided.

"We have to think this through very carefully," Esme warned.

Carlisle nodded in agreement. "Now, we do have to think of ourselves in some sense. But, more importantly, we have to think about what is best for Bella," he said, running a hand through his messy, blonde hair. "We're going to have to unravel exactly what happened to her in that forest. We're also going to have to find out what her circumstances are right now in terms of family. Once we sort that, we'll have to decide, based on logic, what to do."

"What should we do at this present moment?" Esme asked him worriedly.

"For future reference, I believe we should take a vote," he replied. "I think it's only fair that we all agree on the next course of action, whatever that may be."

"I'll begin," Esme announced, taking my chalky-white hand in her own absentmindedly. "We can't call the police, for obvious reasons. We also can't take her to the hospital for those same reasons. We're the only ones who can take care of her. So, I vote that she stays."

"I vote that she stays," Emmett said, shrugging. He didn't give further explanation and neither did his thoughts. He wanted her here and that was that.

"I vote that she... stays," Jasper said, changing his mind at the very last second. His thoughts revealed to me that his intentions weren't malicious, he thought it would be good for him to be around a human more often.

He wanted to test himself.

I, on the other hand, didn't think that was a clever idea at all.

"We can't just abandon her," Rosalie piped up, giving me a glare when I shot her a surprised glance. "Don't look at me like that. Her and I have one thing in common: we were both left alone to die through someone else's actions. I wouldn't wish that on anybody, not even an inconsequential little human girl. I know how much I needed someone that night. So, punch me for saying it, but I vote that she stays."

Rosalie hated to admit it but she knew it was the kindest thing to do. She felt only sorrow towards the girl upstairs, loathing that this sort of thing still happens to people. Shockingly to both of us, she found herself wishing she had somehow been able to prevent what had happened to Bella.

"I vote that she stays," Alice chirped, grinning ear to ear.

"I also vote that she stays," Carlisle said. "I don't believe it would be morally right to leave a child alone in this. She also needs medical attention, which I can offer her, so I see no reason why she shouldn't remain with us."

After that, all eyes turned to me. Judging by their thoughts, my answer was the one they were all tremendously unsure about. As was I.

I couldn't make sense of my own thoughts because, confusingly, they were suggesting that the best thing for her would be to stay and to leave. If she stays, she'll be taken care of. If she leaves, she won't be at risk of being killed by either me or Jasper.

"I don't know what I vote," I admitted sheepishly.

"Make up your damn mind, Edward," Emmett snapped, groaning at my slow responses.

"It's not easy enough just to say stay or go, Emmett! I mean, there are so many things to think about. If she stays, I could kill her because God only knows how much more I can take. Or, what if she falls or something? What if she injures her knee enough to break the skin and one of us loses control for a split second?"

"That might be a risk we have to—"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about the biggest one! Exposure," I deadpanned.

"Good thing we're used to the acting," Carlisle said, giving me a tight smile.

I shook my head, sighing to myself in exasperation. I was struggling between what was right for her and what was best for her.

As I sat there, I discovered something through considering all of our options. I discovered that I didn't truthfully want her to go anywhere. It seemed absurd but I was undeniably curious. Wanting to solve the mystery that was this girl made me desire her presence. Those hidden thoughts had me ready to make a perilous decision.

I also realised that I was too stubborn to accept that my ability had failed me. It meant that I had a weakness and she had a different kind of power over me. She had her own mind and it was only her's to have. The irritation made me want to break something.

"Edward, did you consider that your presence may in actual fact be a positive thing rather than a negative thing in her life right now?" Carlisle asked, recalling my reaction when I understood that Bella wanted me to be near her. "She seems to feel much safer with you than with anyone else at the moment."

"Why is that, do you think?" Emmett asked, genuinely interested.

"I've seen it many times before with humans and this is no exception. A victim of a traumatic event often latches on to safety subconsciously. Edward was there to help her when nobody else was. She has unintentionally latched on to him. He's her security blanket," Carlisle tried to explain.

"Edward, I know you well enough to know that you are about as selfless as they come," Esme told me, tenderly kissing my hand. "I think you're strong enough to resist her blood if you keep in mind that what you're doing is for her, like Alice said earlier. Taking care of someone is incredibly fulfilling."

I had to admit, the idea of having some reason for existing wasn't half bad. It was sort of nice knowing that I was needed in this life for something that wasn't worthless. Then again, I was also born to kill those who walk the earth with us so my point is invalid.

"Besides, it wouldn't be forever," Carlisle said softly, making me cringe.

This is definitely not a good idea.

"Well, I thought what I did this morning was stupid. I think this is about to top that," I muttered. "I vote that she stays."

"Alright, we're all in agreement. If, once we discover what we need to know, we can conclude that Bella has no one else, she is welcome to stay with us whilst she heals," Carlisle said, giving us all a strange look.

He knew as well as I did that keeping her here was going to change everything. Alteration isn't the same for us as it is for humans. It's permanent for us and the fact that she won't be with us for long doesn't affect that. We would forever remember her.

What confused me slightly, was the direction all of their thoughts were headed. They had an ulterior motive for keeping her with us: me. They think that having her here will be good for me.

Silence and stillness took over the room again as our conversation came to an end. How could a human live here for any length of time without becoming suspicious? Sure, we're good at keeping our secret hidden, and living amongst humans has never been a problem but... living with one, on the other hand, could be a slight one.

"I'm going to drive down to the hospital just now to try to convince them to let me store some more equipment in our garage," Carlisle said, actually meaning that he was going to lie in order to get the things he needs for Bella. "I'm sure it won't be a problem. I'm also sure Bella is going to be alright but I'm going to need someone by her side for the next half hour or so whilst I'm gone... just in case."

"I can sit—" Alice started but I cut her off.

"I'll stay with her." I shrugged when she glared at me. "I made a promise."

"Let me rectify my earlier statement; I'm going to need at least one of you by her side constantly for the next half hour or so whilst I'm gone," Carlisle said, chuckling at Alice's smug facial expression.

I could already tell that this was going to lead to a fight.

* * *

"She's so still," Emmett muttered, shoving his face right in front of Bella's.

"That's probably because she's sedated," I replied as sarcastically as I possibly could, pushing him away from directly in front of her.

"Why are you even in here?" he asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "I thought we were going to take turns each."

"Well, you thought wrong. I didn't want to leave her alone with someone she hasn't even spoken to."

"I think I would be more concerned about leaving you alone with her," he snapped.

"Was that a necessary comment?"

"Stop bickering," Alice whined, prancing through the doorway.

"Oh great, another one," Emmett muttered.

Why on earth we were all arguing over a human girl is beyond me. It was slightly humorous to me that she was so oblivious right this second to what was going on around her. That's the strange thing about sleep, I guess. She wouldn't really know whether she was dead or alive and if she never woke up, she wouldn't know she hadn't.

I shuddered. No wonder she didn't want to sleep.

"Rosalie isn't—"

"I know, Alice, mind reader over here."

"For the benefit of Emmett," she amended with a sharp glare sent in my direction. "Rosalie said she doesn't want to overwhelm her so she's keeping her distance. As for Jaz, he doesn't want to push himself too much today so he is also keeping away."

"Maybe Edward should take a page out of Jasper's book," Emmett said snidely. "I mean, you don't want to finally snap when she is at her most vulnerable. Really, there would be nothing, no morals, to consider if she were just to lie there unconscious like before."

His words made me flinch, not only because they were very blunt. I was overcome with a surge of disgust towards myself upon truly realising my capability. I could end her life in a split second with just one of my hands.

"His future is clear just now," Alice said curtly, instantly defensive. "Emmett, you're not helping the problem by saying things like that. You've sent him into a panic now."

"I'm fine," I said. "Maybe we should speak about this when we're not in the same room as a human."

"That's probably a good idea," she agreed, chuckling dryly.

"The wisest one I've had all day," I whispered, training my eyes on the girl who had unknowingly turned our dull world completely upside down.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**  
"Unwanted Thoughts"

I felt cold, colder than usual, as I stood comically still beside her bed. Perhaps numb was a better word than just cold. My eyes remained locked on her. She looked oddly peaceful lying there almost lifeless. All of her features were relaxed; eyes closed delicately, lips parted slightly, no trace of a frown between her brows.

Carlisle arrived home quickly, hospital equipment stored in the family jeep. He was relieved, I discovered, that he'd managed to get everything and more than what he would need for her. When she arrived earlier, though he didn't admit it, he thought she was a goner. I think a little part of us all thought that, too. He transformed the room, making it look like a proper hospital ward in less than ten minutes. He didn't hover afterwards. He checked her over, making sure she was stable, before leaving. He hasn't been back up here since.

The others had left, too, trying to give her some privacy. I refused, using my promise as an excuse to stay in the same room as her. I wasn't entirely sure why I felt the need to torture myself further than was necessary. I knew when she was awake it would be worse; when she moved, spoke, sighed. But, I was overly curious. Carlisle assured me in his thoughts that she would be waking any time now.

She will be frightened, I concluded, after considering all of the possible ways in which the waking up scenario could go. She may even be confused, though she didn't ask any questions when she was awake before. I already felt guilty that the first thing we were going to do to her is interrogate her. It's probably the last thing she needs but we have to have answers before we decide what happens next.

The room was almost silent, other than the comforting sound of her steady heartbeat, beating in time with the newly installed heart monitor. Comforting because it assured me that she was still alive and we wouldn't have to decide what to do with a dead body that no one knew about. I couldn't even begin to imagine how that would unravel.

 _Listen to her heartbeat carefully_ , Carlisle thought from his place by Esme in the usually vacant kitchen.

"I think it's hard not to," I muttered.

He chuckled before clarifying, _It will beat faster as she begins to wake up._

So, I did. I focused solely on the sound of her heart, trying to ignore the monitor. I listened for any change, any stutter, anything. Minutes ticked by and I was beginning to think Carlisle was just messing with me, not that he often would. Just as I was about to ask him if he was sure, her heartbeat stuttered once before speeding up. I made sure my feet were planted in the exact place I had said they would be, taking my promise a little too seriously. I almost scoffed at my own ridiculousness. I had no reasonable explanation as to why I was still in town never mind why I was standing by her bedside.

She frowned, groaning. I wondered if she was in pain. I briefly considered calling Carlisle up here but I knew deep down that he would know if she needed anything. I decided the best thing to do was not stare at her face, searching for any sign of pain, and feign nonchalance. Staring would make her uncomfortable. I moved my gaze to the bookshelf that had been pressed up against the South wall to make space for her bed. I'd read every book there as well as the ones in my own room multiple times.

She coughed softly, an action I didn't catch onto at first. I stared at the bookshelf for a few moments longer before I finally realised that was her way of alerting me she had woken.

 _As if I didn't already know_ , I thought in amusement.

I slowly moved my eyes back to her, offering some sort of smile. I wished I could see in her mind what my face looked like right now. Did it look genuine enough? Was it human enough? I wouldn't normally overthink a small action so much but it's imperative, now more than ever, that we act as human as we possibly can. It seemed suddenly very difficult to pretend.

"You're here," she said quietly, her voice a little hoarse.

"I promised I would be."

"Not everyone keeps promises," she whispered, trying to clear her throat unsuccessfully.

"They don't," I agreed, breathing carefully through the constant burn in my throat. "But I do."

We were both silent as she possibly tried to come to terms with her current placement. I wasn't sure, she had an odd expression on her face. I couldn't decipher what it meant. She looked, I don't know, nervous? Or, maybe it was embarrassment. Yes, that makes more sense. She's not making eye contact, she's biting her bottom lip, there's a faint red smudge on her cheeks. She opened her mouth as if to say something but quickly shut it again, obviously deciding otherwise.

It frustrated me in ways I can't explain, to not be able to just dive into her mind and know what she was thinking. This is definitely a lesson for me. I rely way too much on my ability.

"Do you need anything?" I asked softly, trying to get her to finally tell me what it was she was trying to say.

"I n-need, um, I—"

"Honey," Esme interrupted, entering the room swiftly. "I thought you might be desperate for a freshen up. You can go to the bathroom if you'd like?"

 _I think she might need the toilet, Edward. Carlisle didn't want to put in a catheter unless it was absolutely necessary. She's too shy to say because she knows she'll need help. A shower will do her good as well, it's relaxing for humans. Carlisle has given me everything I'll need to make sure her wound doesn't get wet_ , she informed me speedily.

I felt like face-palming. How hadn't I realised that was what she was trying to tell me? I should have known it would be something as such. I felt quite foolish. I also felt bad that I'd just stood there and stared at her whilst she struggled to get the words out.

"Please," she said quietly. "If it's not too much trouble."

"Of course it's not too much trouble. Would you be able to hang on a few more minutes whilst my husband comes to check you over? He'd rather not move you if it's going to strain you too much."

"That's fine," she said, giving her a smile. "Your name is Esme, isn't it?"

"It is."

"And I know you're Edward," she said, glancing at me briefly as Carlisle walked into the room. "That's Carlisle."

"I am him," he said, giving her a small grin.

She laughed, a pure sound, only wincing slightly.

We all saw it, that small change in her facial expression that gave her away. Her nose scrunched up ever so slightly and her teeth clenched shut. She didn't say anything, she simply took a deep breath. It is likely a human would have missed it.

"I'm also a doctor, as you know," he added. "So, if anything is wrong, you really do have to tell me."

"I just feel like there's lots of..." she trailed off, unable to find the correct word.

"Pressure?" He questioned as he pressed his fingers onto her wrist for show. She nodded. "That's not unusual, don't worry. I have been injecting morphine into you through the drip so nothing should be particularly painful at the moment. I've had fluids going into you as well to ensure you are staying hydrated because that's very important." He paused. "Do you feel sick? Cold? Thirsty? Hungry?"

"Uh, a little of all four?" she said it like a question.

We all chuckled.

"Alright, I'm comfortable with Esme getting you up for a shower. Your heartbeat is very steady and strong so that's promising. The shower will warm you up as well. When you're back in bed, if everything is still looking as good, I'd like you to try drinking some cool water. I'll also get you to try eating something —some toast perhaps, or porridge, whichever sounds more appetising. The thought of food is probably disgusting for now but the best thing we can do is try to build up your strength. How does that sound for a plan?"

"Good," she said, nodding. "This might sound stupid but I was just wondering if you know... well, if you know how I'm awake. When I did some research, I remember reading—" She stopped abruptly, her cheeks heating up again.

Carlisle was quick to reassure her.

"It doesn't sound stupid at all, Bella," he said. "Being completely honest, I'm not entirely sure how you're awake. Gunshot victims often remain unconscious for days, weeks sometimes. Many with wounds in places such as yours even end up slipping into a coma. It's very incredible."

"Hm," she hummed, seeming disgruntled by his answer. "Another question: why am I not in hospital?"

"I think we have a lot to talk about," Carlisle said, trying to sway her. "So, we'll wait until you're feeling a little better until we chat."

"Are you ready?" Esme asked, changing the subject.

"Yes."

"I'm going to leave the needle in your hand, Bella, just so we can keep getting plenty of morphine into your system afterwards. We'll cover that up whilst you're in the shower. I just have to detach the drip and you're good to go. The pain medication should definitely last enough time for you to get sorted," he said as he unscrewed the tube that was attached to the needle in her hand. "I don't want you walking. You'll be very unsteady on your feet and a fall when you're in this condition could be pretty bad for you, alright? So—"

"How bad?" she interrupted, eyes widening slightly.

She asks a lot of questions.

"Well, it could be fatal."

"I'm sure I mentioned to Edward and Esme that I was quite... quite..."

"Ungraceful?" I finished her sentence, trying not to laugh.

"Exactly that."

Carlisle laughed a hearty laugh, making me smile. I don't know when the last time I heard him make a sound like that was.

"I'm going to make a quick phone call to the hospital. Esme will grab you some clean clothes and a towel. Edward, could you carry her down, please?"

He gave me a pointed look, telling me there was no room for arguments. I know he's trying to do what will make her more comfortable but he's also putting her at risk. He knows that, but he has every faith in me. It made me angry that he trusted me with something like that; something as valuable as an innocent's life. It frightened me, too.

"Of course."

I was sure by the look she was giving him that she was not entirely happy with the idea either. I wanted to know whether it was because she didn't want me to carry her, or if it was because she didn't want to be carried at all. I decided the latter was probably more likely. Her fear probably stopped her from protesting.

Carlisle left the room, giving me a smile as he went.

I took a deep breath, testing myself one last time. I'd been in here so long that I think I was almost desensitised.

Esme gently pulled the bed covers back, revealing the rest of Bella's slender body. They had changed her from Alice's clothes into their own. She was wearing a t-shirt, one of Carlisle's, along with a pair of Esme's pyjama bottoms. They had tried to match them. I was assuming they'd chosen their own clothes to dress her in because they were bigger, looser, and wouldn't rub against her wounds.

"Please tell me if I hurt you," I told her softly when I reached her bedside.

She nodded. A silent promise.

"I'll go and get those clean clothes," Esme said, rushing out of the room as fast as she could without looking abnormal.

I slowly wrapped one arm around her mid-section, being overly careful not to press against her wound. I put my other arm beneath her knees and lifted her off of the bed. It was easier this time, now that she wasn't unconscious. I would know if I was hurting her. She wrapped one of her arms around my neck instinctively, making my breath hitch. I wasn't sure if it was panic or surprise that caused it. She's extremely warm, too warm, I knew that. I wanted to put my hand on her forehead to cool her down. It was abnormal that she felt as though she was cold. How strange the human body is.

I effortlessly made my way out of the room, slowing my walk so that she could take in her surroundings. I didn't have to look where I was going so I kept my eyes trained on hers as she looked around her. I think I was actually quite terrified that she was just going to die in my arms. I'd seen many dead people before, hell I'd killed people before, but this seemed so very different. There was just something about her undeserved death that would make it impossible to live happily through forever. I assumed it was because we'd interacted with her; spoken to her more than any other single human; touched her more than would usually be safe. She will leave an eternal mark on our existence. She has defied the nature of my kind and her own. I should have killed her but I didn't. She shouldn't have survived that gunshot but she did. Although, I was positive that if we hadn't been the coven to find her, she may not have lived to tell the tale.

"The bathroom is just along here," I told her, realising that I'd been staring at her face the whole way through my inner monologue. I was supposed to be making her feel comfortable.

"It's so pretty here," she whispered, staring at the artwork on our walls; some of which Carlisle has had for a couple of centuries.

"I agree."

I entered the bathroom, realising only when I saw her that Esme was already in there running the water. This bathroom was unnecessarily large. I wanted to roll my eyes. It's rare that any of us use the bathrooms. It is sometimes nice to shower, though we don't need to. The girls like a bath now and again, too. That would probably be nice for Bella, I thought, if it weren't for the stitches.

 _Why am I thinking about that?_

I shook my head as I sat her down on a cushioned chair by the sink.

"Emmett and Jasper were going to go to the store to get some things now that we have a guest," Esme told me, running her hand under the water. "I told them you would go with them."

I smiled thankfully. She would know that I would want to leave the house whilst she helped Bella, for I didn't want to see anything that would threaten her privacy. Though part of me wanted so badly to know what she was thinking, I was surprisingly grateful that I didn't have to invade these personal situations.

"No problem. Is there a list?"

"Your father wrote one out," she said, and I almost snickered. Surely we could have simply memorised what we were meant to get. "Edward, does this feel too warm to you?"

I laughed quietly at the very human question before walking over to test it myself. The sensation of water on my skin always feels strange. It felt cooler than Bella, though she was warmer than she should be.

"Perhaps slightly," I muttered. "She has a bit of a temperature so I'd cool it down a little."

"Alright." She grinned.

"I'll see you both later," I said, throwing a smile in Bella's direction before I left the room, closing the door silently behind me.

I ran down the stairs at a speed which would probably give Bella a heart attack. When I entered the living room, things there seemed unusual. Rosalie was flicking through news channels, keeping tabs. We all wondered if we would hear anything about a missing child or a suspected murderer. Alice was staring into nothingness, watching Jasper's uncertain future. Carlisle was having a conversation on the phone with a colleague about getting Bella in for a couple of scans and an X-ray. He wouldn't provide a truthful story but he would twist their arms enough to get them to allow it. Humans are gullible. Jasper and Emmett were having a heated argument over who was going to get to push the trolley at the store.

"Why don't you take turns each?" I asked sarcastically, grabbing my car keys from the hook by the door.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea," Jasper mumbled. "We won't be longer than an hour. Half an hour each?" He held out his hand.

Emmett shook it roughly.

"I was kidding," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Let's go junior doc," Emmett shouted, grinning ear to ear as he slung his giant arm over my shoulder.

The three of us walked out to the car, deciding we were in no rush. It was nice to have some fresh air but not as much of a relief as I'd expected. The fresh air didn't last too long because when the wind blew, her scent wafted from my clothes. Jasper cringed at the same time Emmett did.

"She does smell good, man," Emmett admitted.

"I'm not trying to be funny," Jasper hissed. "But how haven't you killed her when you are about a thousand times more attracted to her scent than we are? If she smells that good to us, I don't understand how..." he trailed off in disbelief. "You must have super self-control, Edward."

"I don't think that's it." I shook my head, opening my door. "I think it's because I can't read her mind."

"That logic makes zero sense," he said. "Wouldn't that make you want her more? I mean, if you can't hear the fear or see your face in her mind, does that not make it easier?"

"No," I snapped, irritation flaring for some reason. "What I meant is that I'm curious."

"Are you sure it's not super self-control?" Emmett teased.

"Positive," I said as I started the engine. "My control could snap at any moment."

I couldn't pull the car away quick enough before an overwhelming thought from Esme surged through my mind when I registered the exclamation of shock in her head. Slashes, raw wounds, all the way down someone's back.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Emmett demanded, instantly worried when he saw the ghastly look on my face. "What is it?"

"This can't just be a one time thing," I muttered, letting my head fall to the steering wheel. "I think it was someone she knew."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**  
"Tragic"

"Do you ever miss it?" Emmett asked conversationally, swinging the trolley around him like it was a feather. He'd nearly taken out numerous people with it so Jasper and I had to warn him a few times to tone it down.

"Miss what?" I asked, scanning the shelves for smooth peanut butter.

"This," he clarified subtly in case anyone was listening, shoving the trolley to the side to help me search. He tossed me the smooth peanut butter moments later. I should have seen it before now. There was just so much food and we couldn't move at the speed we wanted to in order to find what we needed. It was very frustrating.

"Hm," I muttered, launching it in the trolley. "Did you smell the fish?"

"Yeah." He scrunched up his nose in disgust.

"I don't think we're missing much there." I chuckled. "But, yeah, I guess I do a little. Only for the normality factor though."

"Yeah, it'd be nice to be normal."

We laughed.

We left the aisle then, deciding we should track down Jasper after we sent him to get bread ten minutes ago. Since he hadn't returned, we assumed he may be having some difficulty. We didn't even know where anything was because we'd always relied on Carlisle and Esme, like all the other parents in town, to do the grocery shopping. As you can most likely tell, their acting is much better than ours. We had to follow the signs dangling from the ceiling in hope that we could track our brother down. Being honest, perhaps letting him go off on his own wasn't a wise idea in the first place considering his sudden diet change.

We quickly discovered there was nothing to worry about when we found him looking puzzled amongst what could only be described as two mountainous shelves of bread.

"What the hell one do we buy?"

He threw his hands up in frustration.

"Won't they all taste the same?" Emmett asked quietly, frowning.

"That's like saying every deer tastes the same," I whispered. "Uh, I know brown bread is healthier but I don't know what brand to—"

"Just get this one," Emmett muttered, rolling his eyes as he grabbed a loaf of Warburtons and placed it gently in the trolley.

I shrugged, truthfully not knowing what on earth the best option was. We continued with the shopping then, getting irritated that Carlisle hadn't been more specific with the list. Every single item he asked for, had multiple brands to choose from. How were we meant to know which to get?

The whole trip took us about two and a half hours and counting. The three of us vowed we would never, ever be doing it again.

* * *

Arriving home made me undeniably anxious. Being perfectly honest, I didn't actually want to go into the house and deal with whatever was coming our way. I knew a conversation with Bella was on the horizon but how could I look at her without feeling an uncontrollable surge of anger? Not towards her; of course not, she had done nothing wrong that I knew of. My anger was directed towards whoever was capable of hurting someone the way she has been hurt.

"Took you long enough," Rosalie muttered when we walked into the kitchen, carrying multiple bags each.

"You go and try it Rose, I dare you," Emmett said, huffing when he dropped the bags gently on the counter beside her.

Jasper and I placed our bags down in the same place, deciding we should unpack them quickly whilst no human eyes or ears were around. We darted around the kitchen, shoving things in random cupboards in a very unorganised fashion. Rosalie just stood there looking pretty, flicking through a magazine. Her thoughts revealed she wasn't actually focused on it, she was more amused by how long our shopping trip took.

"How's—" I started but was cut off almost instantly.

"She's fine," Esme said, smiling softly when she realised we had put everything away already.

"That's good," I replied awkwardly.

I could hear her steady heartbeat, an indication to me that she was asleep again. That's a good thing. She needs as much rest as she can get. Carlisle had just popped his head in to check on her so I watched her through his eyes. She looked so peaceful, her chest rising and falling slowly. Carlisle noted this too and left the room without any hesitation. He was sure she was going to be fine but was impatient to get her into the hospital tomorrow for the scans he arranged. He wants to confirm everything is alright internally.

Somehow, in those few moments I focused my attention on Bella, my whole family had ended up in the kitchen. That's something that has never happened before. We all hovered uncomfortably, no one knowing quite what to say since today's events have been so strange.

"By the way, dad, it would have been nice if the list was a little more specific," Emmett muttered, irritated by Rosalie's amusement.

"Yes, I realised that a little too late. My thoughts were rather preoccupied at the time I was writing it, I'm sorry it took so long," he replied, giving the three of us an apologetic smile.

"Don't apologise," I told him softly. "It had to be done. Besides, it certainly was an experience."

Jasper grunted, not appreciating the understatement.

"She'll be waking up again any minute now," Alice said softly. "I see us having a conversation with her today but because the only thing we've decided is to talk with her, I don't know what the outcome will be."

We all nodded silently in response to her words. I don't know why there was a sense of awkwardness in the room, it's not a feeling we usually encounter. Especially with me in the house. I've heard some disturbing things in the heads of my family and if we ever made things awkward, this whole coven would be completely dysfunctional.

"I should probably go and... see her," I mumbled.

I felt oddly embarrassed by the scrutinising looks I received from my family after I spoke those words. Perhaps it was because I knew what they were all thinking; that I was acting strange.

"Yes," Jasper agreed, his thoughts alerting me that he could sense I was feeling slightly anxious all of a sudden.

I was about to question him out loud about it but I refrained for two reasons. One, I didn't want to embarrass myself further. And two, I knew he was right. The reason I wanted to go and check on the girl was to make sure she was alright, as if I needed to see her myself to confirm this. I was worried. I didn't know why, or what exactly had caused this sudden agitation, but I suspected it had something to do with the slashes I'd seen down her back. Was it her parents? Was it a stranger? Did she fight back? God, I hope she didn't.

"I still have to ask her about Romeo and Juliet," I blurted out. I wanted to smack myself. I had never in my existence been so scattered and unthinking.

"So you do," Esme agreed, a trace of humour glistening in her eyes.

"Yes."

At that, I left the room swiftly.

My throat burned with simply the thought of being in the same room as her again. It was almost beyond any pain I'd felt, physically and mentally. I could smell her the second I left the kitchen. I could smell exactly where her hair had brushed against the wall in certain hallways. I could smell her everywhere. Escaping that was going to be near impossible so, for now, I would have to deal with the imprisonment. The risk I was taking was more worrisome than anything.

I didn't hesitate before I entered the room she was in. It probably wasn't a clever move but I decided torturing myself was now necessary, since the likelihood of her staying with us longer was increasing. As I opened the door, I inhaled deliberately slowly. As soon as I felt that fresh flow of venom in my mouth, I loathed myself more than ever.

Why did I have to be this? Why couldn't I be _normal_?

I could have taken her to the hospital, where she would be surrounded by safety. A police investigation would be carried out, she would be questioned, and whoever had harmed her would be found.

None of that could happen now.

She was lying there, unmoving. Once again, there were only two things that assured me she was alive: her steady heartbeat along with the gentle rise and fall of her chest. The sound of a human heartbeat had never been so comforting. I couldn't fathom the reason behind the calmness that washed over me. I knew it wasn't Jasper so I was forced to assume it was because I knew I hadn't killed her. That seemed like the most logical explanation.

She stirred a little, her face scrunching up in her sleep. It made me wonder if she felt some sort of discomfort or pain, even though she wasn't conscious. How could I possibly ever know? I'm sure Jasper would be quick to tell us but I wasn't so sure I wanted him close to her just now. I don't know what seemed worse to me; the thought of me harming her, or the thought of watching someone else harm her.

I silently made my way over to the furthest away bookshelf, knowing exactly where I would find _Romeo and Juliet_. That would be a normal conversation starter, right? I did say I would ask her about it. Some small talk always puts humans at ease because it's simple and doesn't delve into their privacy too much.

It's not like I usually exploit their privacy, I thought to myself sarcastically.

"Edward?"

I jumped at the sound of her voice. The thought of her scaring me in any way made me chuckle through the shock of me being so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even realise she had woken.

"Hi," I mumbled, deciding that was as good a response as any.

"Hi?" she replied like a question.

"I meant to ask you about _Romeo and Juliet_ ," I said, moving away from the bookshelf to stand close by her bed. "I wasn't sure if you'd remember about—"

"I remember you saying you were going to ask me about it," she cut me off softly.

"Why on earth is this your favourite of Shakespeare's?"

I held up the book questioningly.

I honestly couldn't get my head around it. The story was just so incredibly tragic that I couldn't fathom why anyone would show any sort of liking towards it. What was amiable about two young teenagers losing their lives because they loved each other too much?

She sat up gingerly.

I didn't know whether to offer her help or not.

She didn't appear to struggle too much so I let her move herself, keeping my hands firmly on the book I was holding. It was very wrong of me to try to think of excuses to touch her warm skin. I shouldn't want to touch her at all. It was weird.

"I like that it's so tragic," she told me, her cheeks tinting red ever so slightly. Why this admission embarrassed her, I didn't know.

"That's exactly why I dislike it."

"That makes more sense," she allowed, breathing out a silent laugh. "I'm partial to the imperfect way their love story ended. I wouldn't really know but I'm sure not all love stories are wine and roses. Sure, they don't all have death in their immediate future but..." she trailed off, shaking her head. "I also admire the way in which they loved each other. There's something so incredibly lovely, heartbreaking, but lovely, about the way in which neither of them could live without the other. It's not just about not wanting to live without each other... they just physically couldn't. Doesn't everyone want to find love like that?" she questioned rhetorically.

I'd never heard a young girl say anything so intellectual. All I could do in response was just stare dumbly at her. I was silenced by her words, anything I could have possibly said to refute her completely obliterated. She was right. In fact, she was so right that I wanted to go out and find anyone who shared my previous thoughts, drag them here and make them listen to her.

"How old are you, Bella?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"I'm si—wait, what's the date today?" she asked me, bewildered.

"September 13th," I replied immediately.

Her eyes shot open comically wide. "Oh."

"Oh?" I repeated, frustrated. What I wouldn't give to be able to hear what she was thinking right now.

"I'm seventeen..." She frowned. "...today."

I'm not sure what surprised me more: the fact that she was only seventeen, or the fact that today was her birthday. My family's shocked exclamations from downstairs assured me that the empathy I was feeling was felt by them too.

We all wanted to make it better; make her better.

But, how could we?

This entire situation is one massive, unfixable mess.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**  
"Birthday"

Bella had been awake for a while now, refusing to even attempt to go back to sleep. Carlisle had tried her with some cool water, as he said he would, but she couldn't swallow it. It was only making her wretch which made the rest of us cringe. For now, he has deemed it necessary to keep her on an IV drip so that she doesn't get dehydrated.

Something as simple as that could be deadly to humans.

Just as deadly as a gun.

It was possible now that she was well rested, she could see the frightening reality of her current situation. She has been coming across weirdly calm considering everything that has happened. As the day was drawing to a close, we decided as a family that it would be a good time to speak with her.

Now, we all stand awkwardly mute around her bed. She sat up gingerly, sharing our silence. I realised, as she attempted to move herself, how much energy it required; energy she clearly didn't have right now. She looked so incredibly weak, though that was something I noticed when I first saw her. It was an obvious thing at the time considering she had just been shot but, in a way, it was more disturbing now that she was awake. It made me acutely aware that whether she had been shot or not, if I had somehow come across her, she would still look vulnerable. Whatever life she had lived before we found her, was one that took almost every bit of strength she had.

"Perhaps we should begin by formally introducing you to everyone," Carlisle suggested, giving her a smile he knew would put her at ease. "Things were a little chaotic earlier."

"Of course," she said quietly, not making eye contact with any of us.

I frowned, concentrating on her face since I couldn't concentrate on her thoughts. There was a very slight tint of red on her cheeks. The corners of her mouth were turned down a little, as if she were suddenly very sad. No one else seemed to notice this shift in her features but I doubted the others were paying attention to her the way I was.

A revelation is what I achieved from my over-assessment.

Though it hadn't been a noticeable thing up until now, seen as she had addressed myself, my mother and my father without too much difficulty, I realised that her issue at the moment was that she was simply shy. I could see that having this many people standing around her made her nervous.

"You know three of us already..." Carlisle trailed off, giving Esme and I pointed looks. "All of my children are adopted. This is Rosalie and Emmett," he introduced, gesturing to them as he spoke. "This is Alice and Jasper."

"Hi," she mumbled, fidgeting uncomfortably under our stares. "Um, can I please ask where I am?"

I'd never heard such a strange set of words come out of someone's mouth. Why she thought she was obligated to ask us if she could ask a question, I have no idea. Her politeness surprised me for someone who was in the midst of an incredibly unnatural situation.

Carlisle cleared his throat, a habit he has had for as long as I've known him.

"You're in our home."

"Oh n-no, sorry," she said, shaking her head. "I meant... I-I'm not in Phoenix, am I?"

"No, you're in Forks, sweetie," Esme said, giving Carlisle a concerned glance.

"Washington?" she questioned, her eyes a mask of horror.

"Yes."

The girl must be more confused than we initially thought. Carlisle's worry assured me that he had checked her over for any serious head injuries, but he would make sure of that tomorrow when she gets her scans. Either she was injured or there was some other reason unknown to us for her question.

"I asked earlier," she began, taking a deep breath. I subconsciously took a smell step backwards. "I asked why I wasn't in hospital."

"You did," Carlisle agreed, mildly amused by her subtle probe. "There are certain things that are quite impossible for me to explain so I'll tell you this: it was necessary. I know it isn't much to go on and I also know that you deserve much more than that poor excuse for an explanation. All I ask is that you trust it honestly was a necessity, for all of our safety."

He knew it was a long shot, expecting such a young girl to agree to something as vague as that. I could see the wheels turning in her muddled head. If she wasn't confused already, she certainly was now. How could anyone possibly accept an explanation as such? Sadly, that was all we could come up with that wasn't us just blatantly telling her, _I apologise we couldn't take you to the hospital. You see, we are blood-drinking demons who would be exposed to the human race if we took you there, subsequently leading to our execution._

"I suppose that's as good an explanation as any," she said, smiling to herself.

I think most of us literally recoiled at the sound of those words exiting her mouth. I couldn't have predicted what she would say but even if I did have perfect access to her mind, she still would have shocked me. I watched my family try to control their surprise, morphing their agape mouths to forced smiles.

Perhaps there was something more serious wrong with her.

"Thank you," Carlisle told her sincerely and she cocked her head to the side.

It was a relief, I'll admit, that she seemingly didn't feel like today's events were in any way odd. A normal person would be overwhelmed with terror. But, her calmness made this whole thing much safer for my family and that was definitely the most important thing.

"Bella, we should ask," Esme said, clasping her hands together. "Is there anyone we can call for you?"

The look that passed through her watery eyes was the answer we were all looking for. If there was someone out there who would notice her missing, she certainly didn't want to be found. I was positive that whoever was haunting her innocent thoughts, was the reason she was in this mess.

A certain degree of loathing flooded through me. I loathed whoever did this to her, so much so that I would kill them with a smile on my face if I had the chance. I clenched my fists tightly to stop myself from breaking something and traumatising the human in the room.

Jasper easily calmed me down of course, and it was only then that I realised I wasn't the only one who needed calming down. Emmett and Rosalie shared almost the same amount of anger I did. The others were too upset to be angry.

"No," she finally answered, though we already knew. "No, there's no one you can call for me . He thinks I'm dead anyway. I should be, like he said."

That right there was the first clue in figuring out what the hell happened to this girl. Those were the words that told us there was someone close to her out there and like I thought, they were responsible for this. What I was not prepared for, however, was the surge of pain that coursed through me upon hearing a person say that they should be dead.

"If you were meant to be dead, Bella," Carlisle said. "I believe that you would be by now."

He was right, as always.

She should have died today, on two separate occasions.

"I think a very late Happy Birthday may be in order, though I'm sure you've had better than this one," he muttered dryly.

"Would you be surprised if I told you this has been one of my better birthdays?"

Not at all.

* * *

The house felt very cold tonight and I just couldn't help myself from worrying that it may be too cold for a human to be comfortable. Bella had fallen asleep for the night about four hours ago so we left her without delving any further into her privacy. It was going on 1am. I was surprised no one else had noticed the cold but when I asked Esme about it, she told me the heating was on so I had nothing to be concerned about.

"The temperature is beginning to drop at this time of year. What if it's too cold for her to—"

"Edward, why don't you go and check on her?" she suggested, highly amused.

The idea was tempting, I'll give her that. I couldn't understand why I had the urge to go and see if she was okay. I didn't see any harm in it either, aside from the fact I might kill her. It seemed an ordinary thing to do. I had an excuse too; if she were in hospital, nurses would be checking on her throughout the night. If I felt the cold, surely she would too. So, I felt it was in her best interest that I make sure she was warm enough.

"Before you pace a hole in the floor," she added.

"I think I'll do that," I mumbled, sniffing without intending to. "Just to, you know, make sure she isn't cold or something."

"Good idea."

I made my way upstairs, noting that everyone else had eloped to their rooms. They thought it would be wise, in case she were to wake up during the night. It would seem odd to a human if we were all just hovering around at 3am.

I grabbed a thick blanket from a storage cupboard as I went, deciding it would be good to have something to place over her if I did discover she was cold. She wouldn't sleep soundly if her body temperature wasn't right, and Carlisle had announced many times how important it was that she rest peacefully. None of them thought anything of my passing which I was thankful for. They hadn't been paying much attention to me. Their thoughts were... elsewhere.

I entered the room silently, cringing when the door clicked shut behind me. She didn't move an inch. She honestly did not look very comfortable, lying there with numerous wires and an IV drip attached to her. There was a lamp on in the corner, something Esme discovered she liked at night. She wasn't shivering or anything but I knew better than to make assumptions based on what my eyes were telling me. So, I inched forward until I was standing right next to her bed.

I shoved the blanket under one arm and reached forward with my right hand. Her chest was rising and falling slowly, letting me know she was in a deep sleep. Her heartbeat was steady, the monitor beeping in harmony with it.

I ever so gently placed the back of my fingers on her forehead, hating that I was once again making up excuses to touch her. The heat from her body was pleasant but I was correct, she was definitely colder than she should be. I'd been around enough humans in my existence to know that.

Thankful that my trip upstairs could be described as reasonable, I placed the blanket carefully over her still body.

I remembered there wasn't actually a radiator in this room and I huffed dramatically. Having the heating on elsewhere in the house helped to an extent but it would be a hell of a lot more prudent if she was closer to the heat. So, I came up with the only logical conclusion: she would have to be moved to another vacant room; one that has a radiator.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**  
"Laughter"

They all stared at me blankly, the sun rising over Forks, as if I'd grown an extra arm. To be perfectly honest, growing another limb would seem normal in comparison to yesterday.

"Move her where?" Emmett asked me in amusement.

"You know fine well what I said."

"It does make sense," Carlisle finally agreed. "She was rather cold throughout the night last night. Seen as there isn't an alternative place in the house, it would only be fair to her if we put her in Edward's room, where she'll be warm."

"The view is much prettier, too," Esme said, smiling softly. "You have a CD player, Edward. Perhaps she'll enjoy listening to some music. I know it can be comforting to humans."

"It's comforting to Edward and he's already dead."

"Emmett," Esme snapped, shaking her head in a very motherly disapproving way.

 _It's true_ , he added internally.

I rolled my eyes at his childish attitude.

What I didn't understand was why they couldn't see that all I was trying to do was what was best for Bella. She was the one who was suffering after all, more than any of us at this present time. Don't we owe that to her, after I nearly killed her?

"Edward," Carlisle said, grabbing my attention. "Why don't you and Alice go and see what Bella would like for breakfast? It sounds as though she has just woken. Let her know what the plan is. Perhaps she would like to come downstairs for a while today and watch a film, if she feels like it." He paused. "She seems strong enough, something I still cannot explain, so it's down to what she wants to do."

"Come on," Alice said excitedly, practically dragging me towards the stairs without any room for protest on my behalf. "It's so difficult, not moving quickly. Remind me again why we have to walk like humans when she's awake?"

I laughed loudly at her sarcasm.

"It does feel quite strange," I agreed quietly.

"I suppose we'll just have to get used to it, huh, Edward?" She grinned.

"I think you're right."

* * *

The day passed by in a blur, and it was dinner time for the human before we knew it. What was being put down in front of her for each meal didn't look very appetising but Carlisle assured us all that we had to keep it simple and healthy whilst she was healing. It didn't matter really, because she couldn't eat more than a few spoonfuls or forkfuls without vomiting.

I didn't like seeing someone being sick.

Especially not her.

I sighed, taking my turn at flicking through the news channels to check for any mention of a missing girl. It didn't help that we don't even know her second name yet. Today had been such a relaxing day for everyone that we didn't want to spoil it by asking her questions. Perhaps we should leave it a few days so that she can settle in a little.

Bella has been very quiet today, not that I would know what she was like any other day. She'd barely said anything other than thank you if Esme or Carlisle helped her with something. I hadn't spoken to her, nor had I seen her for myself, since I asked what she wanted for breakfast this morning. She deserves space and we were all trying to give her that—as difficult as it may be in a house so curious and busy. She'd been left to her own thoughts all day and I was embarrassingly desperate to know what she'd been thinking in that time.

"Anything?" Esme asked, running her hand through my hair softly.

"Nothing," I replied, smiling at her motherly gesture.

She frowned.

"Such a gentle soul," she mused. "How could no one be missing her?"

I shook my head in silent wonder.

It was very hard to believe that there wasn't somebody out there who noticed she was gone from wherever she'd come from. I couldn't comprehend how someone like her could be invisible to anyone.

"She managed to eat a little bit more tonight and she wasn't sick afterwards so that's positive," she informed me speedily. "I think she's in dire need of stretching her legs, though. Carlisle is talking about getting her down for that film he was talking about earlier. I'm not sure what she'd like to watch... something funny, maybe?"

"I think we could all use a little bit of laughter."

"They say it's the best cure," she said, grinning. "She hasn't seen you since this morning, she's probably missing you."

I rolled my eyes. "I doubt that very much."

"I don't doubt it. Mother knows best so go and ask if she'd like to come down and watch something. She can choose the film tonight. I think your father and I are going to get everything moved into your room whilst you're all down here."

"Okay," I said, standing up slower than necessary.

"You're such a good man, Edward," she told me, giving me a smacker of a kiss on the forehead.

"I wouldn't say I'm—"

"Mother knows best," she repeated, flitting out of the room ahead of me.

* * *

When I entered her room, she didn't notice me at first because her face was buried in a book. I almost didn't realise that my throat was practically on fire because I was so distracted by what she was doing. I smiled at the very unordinary sight. It was refreshing to see a teenager immersed in something important for once.

"Hey," I said, my tone soft to avoid startling her.

"Hi," she replied, looking up from the book slowly. "I, um, I was trying to figure out your perspective."

She blushed and, for once, the sight simply amused me.

 _Romeo and Juliet._

"On the contrary, I think you may have changed my opinion slightly."

"That's good because you definitely didn't change mine."

I chuckled.

"I've been sent to ask if you'd like to come down to watch a film with us. I know we mentioned it earlier but you don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to," she said, almost pleadingly, before her eyes turned wary. "Do I... have to be carried down?"

She shifted uncomfortably, which only amused me further.

"Not unless you _want_ to be carried down," I teased.

"N-no thanks," she stuttered, her voice barely audible.

Detach the drip and then you can help her down, Carlisle thought from my room, where he was making space for everything she would need. I'll come and get it in a moment and bring it to her. We need to keep fluids and morphine going into her system.

I hesitantly made my way over to her bedside, telling her what I was doing so she wouldn't be confused. She kept her gaze trained on me as I moved and for the first time in my existence, I actually felt a little self-conscious. I almost laughed out loud at that realisation.

I held my breath when she moved, terrified that I would get too distracted to notice my control slipping.

She placed the book down beside her on the bed, using her arms to try to sit herself up. She wasn't very successful. I noted again how weak she was; how vulnerable. I frowned at her struggle, oddly irritated that she hadn't just asked me for help. Was this common for her? Did she always suffer in silence or was it me making her uncomfortable? Was she too frightened to ask for assistance? It was unbelievably frustrating not to have any answers to my questions.

"Would you like help?" I offered, working to keep my voice even.

"Yes, please," she replied politely, sighing deeply.

That moment was when I ran into difficulty. I didn't know exactly how to help her so I settled on taking it movement by movement. I would have to help her sit upright and then somehow...

 _Why don't I just lift her off of the bed?_

I inwardly rolled my eyes at my stupidity. My thoughts were, once again, scattered.

I silently pulled her bedcovers back, very aware that she'd been dressed in shorts and a t-shirt today because she was running a temperature again. I was confused by the weird feelings that coursed through me upon noticing her bare legs.

Only seconds had passed.

Trying not to overthink the action, I carefully wrapped one arm around her torso and the other under her legs. Whether it was the cold, or fear, or because of the unexpected current I suddenly felt flowing through my body... her breath hitched when my hand came in contact with her skin.

Mine would have, too, if I'd been breathing, I thought sarcastically.

She wrapped her arms around my neck naturally as I lifted her, so that she wouldn't fall— not that I would let her. She was only in my arms for a few seconds before I'd set her on her feet. She hadn't stood on her own for quite some time so I kept one of my arms around her in case she was unsteady.

I was right to.

We hadn't taken one step before her left knee buckled and, if I hadn't been holding her, she'd have ended up on the floor.

"Woah," she mumbled, grabbing my shirt in panic. "I can barely feel my legs."

"That's to be expected when you haven't used them for a while," I assured her.

"Please don't let go of me because I _will_ fall," she said, huffing in frustration.

"I won't," I told her, tightening my hold slightly. "I promise."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**  
"Interrogation"

If it were possible for me to physically vomit, I probably would have just at the thought of having to question the gravely injured girl sitting beside me. She was making slow and steady progress, but she was in so much pain. Because her temperature kept spiking, the morphine was wavering between being very effective and being slightly ineffective. Carlisle didn't want to inject too much into her system for fear of her becoming drowsy and confused, leading to unnecessary stress. He said it was better that she was in a little bit of pain, than to have her panicking.

"Bella, I think it's necessary for us to ask you some questions," Carlisle began, keeping his tone soothing and quiet. "You don't have to answer anything you don't want to. I know it's a lot for us to ask this of you, seen as we haven't fully answered your questions, but I hope you can understand that we cannot be very... _detailed_."

"I knew this was coming at some point," she said, tensing her shoulders to prepare for impact. "Go ahead."

We decided, in order to put her more at ease, that roughly half of us would leave the room. That left my mother, my father, myself and Alice. I thought this was too planned; that it made us look a little odd. However, we figured she may be more willing to talk if the seven of us weren't staring at her waiting eagerly for answers. But, she had been relatively open with us so far which is more than we deserved.

I didn't like to admit that I was nervous about what this conversation would reveal about Bella. I wasn't so confident that I truly wanted to hear the frightening truths of her life. A part of me, on the other hand, felt compelled to know every single little detail—though I knew it would make me angry. I had no right to judge human beings for their actions when mine haven't exactly been saint-like. But there was certainly something that enraged me about the thought of anyone harming this particular human.

I couldn't fathom why her distress disturbed me. Perhaps, as I'd thought before, her innocence was the reason. She just seems so incredibly undeserving of this entire situation, so much so that I wanted to be put in her place.

"What's your full name?" Esme asked, getting the ball rolling.

The girl sighed, as if even this question was difficult to answer.

I wanted to know why. I wanted to understand why she didn't like being asked this. Of course I never would because her mind is silent and it would be inappropriate, never mind dangerous, of me to interrogate her about something a human wouldn't normally notice.

Her gaze fell to the floor and she didn't lift it to meet anyone's eyes.

"Isabella Marie Swan."

This felt almost like the jigsaw puzzle that was this girl was slowly being put together. Her full name was a large missing piece, but now that we knew her identity, it felt like she became suddenly very human. My frozen heart could have melted when the words left her lips. I couldn't have chosen a better name for her myself.

"Such a pretty appellation," Esme said softly, echoing my thoughts.

It is a beautiful name; very old-fashioned. I suddenly found myself wondering where it came from. What was it that prompted her parents to name their daughter this? I guessed the surname was possibly British—stemming from either England or Scotland—though I could be wrong. The middle name I assumed was after a grandmother or some other older family member. As for Isabella, I had no explanation. I was also stumped as to why she preferred Bella as opposed to Isabella. Both were equally fitting.

"We already know you've just turned seventeen and that your date of birth is September 13th. Where is it you are from?" Carlisle asked hesitantly, though I knew he'd already estimated the answer to this after she'd mentioned Phoenix previously.

"Phoenix, Arizona," she mumbled.

"Do you live there currently?"

"Ye—Well, no." She frowned, her eyes never leaving the floor. "We were moving here, to Forks, but I don't remember the journey. That's why I was so surprised, so confused, when you told me where I was. I can't remember how I got here. I don't recall getting in the car or on a plane or—" she cut herself off, shaking her head slowly.

"When you say we..." Alice muttered, prompting her to explain who exactly we is.

"My d—" She flinched, as if she'd been hit. "Charlie." She cleared her throat quietly. "He didn't like it when I called him dad."

The way she worded that sent alarm bells blaring in my head. It was careful, as if she was trying to put it nicely, and I didn't at all like the way she jumped after her slip. I think the four of us knew what that meant; that she would have been punished for calling him dad.

It was then that I knew he was our most likely suspect.

* * *

It went on like that for another short while and we discovered a little more about her. She has just started junior year in school, something we may have to look into here for when she recovers fully—which, judging by the way she's going, won't take very long. We discovered that she didn't really have any friends back in Phoenix, nor did she have any living relatives other than her father. At the mention of him for a second time, the conversation might as well have ended abruptly. She became cautious, only telling us that she didn't know where he would be now. It wasn't loads to go on but it was a thousand times better than what we had before.

We knew she wasn't going to be ready any time soon to tell us exactly what happened, or what she could remember of it, but she had given us enough to start putting some of the pieces together for ourselves. None of us wanted to voice our solemn conclusions, but of course I knew we were all thinking it: her own flesh and blood had done this and it certainly wasn't the first time he had harmed her.

This frightening revelation set my body on fire. The rage was almost unbearable; the thought of any parent being capable of hurting their child in any way whatsoever. But at this precise moment, there wasn't much I could do about it. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't so sure anything I did would extinguish the flames of anger burning me to the core.

Anyway, though we haven't learned an extensive amount more through questioning her, I felt like I already knew various things about her. It was obvious that she was an introvert, I'd confirmed that internally after hearing about her lack of friends. I was curious as to why this was; she seemed a very likeable person. Though I couldn't imagine she would have much in common with her peers after learning of her fascination with Shakespeare. Perhaps the problem was that she simply couldn't relate well to people her own age. I could understand that on another level altogether. Though I looked relatively like a teenage boy, the reality was that I should actually be in a coffin rotting away right this second. Due to my immortality, I had an old soul too.

Carlisle had kept her in bed today, claiming that we shouldn't risk letting her get up and about too much. She'd been shot inches away from her heart just a few days ago and she'd been up watching _Little Shop_ _of Horrors_ yesterday. It was incomprehensible. If in hospital, it was likely that she would still be in a medically induced coma right now. Because her heartbeat is so incredibly strong, that was something Carlisle refrained from doing. Besides, he didn't have all of the equipment required to do it safely.

I also think he'd placed her on bed rest because he noted her tiredness.

Her heartbeat was strong but her body wasn't. It was possible that we had all been a little too optimistic letting her come downstairs the day before. She was very weak, and it was only brought to our attention when she couldn't even lift up a cup of water without trembling slightly.

"Yo, buddy," Emmett muttered, sliding along the couch so that he was flush against my right side.

I didn't really outwardly acknowledge his presence, I just moved my eyes in his direction ever so slightly—enough to let him know I was listening. I didn't really want to talk, I just wanted to think, but I knew I had no excuse for telling him to leave me alone so I just stayed silent. My abruptness would have been severely uncalled for.

"How do you fancy a lil' trip for a couple of days?" He paused. "Goat Rocks?"

"Thanks so much for reminding me," I muttered, rubbing my scorching throat absentmindedly. "You know, it hasn't been very prominent because I've been so distracted. But if I even so much as let myself think of her scent, I start going a bit insane."

He sighed. "I know, it's a tough one, but the fact you're getting distracted so easily means you need to make sure you're hunting a lot more regularly, Edward. I'm speaking from experience here, trust me. The time you're most likely to lose control is when you're not thinking about it."

"You're right," I admitted reluctantly, running my hand through my tousled hair roughly.

"Besides, I really think you're developing some sort of weird separation anxiety," he added snidely.

"What?"

"You know exactly what I said," he murmured knowingly. "Anyway, you in or out?"

"I suppose I'm in, seen as I don't want to kill her."

"That's my guy," he said, shoving me playfully. "But please, for my sake, try to prepare yourself for being away from the human. You may not realise it right now but I guarantee you'll be worrying about her every second you're away."

"Hey, I—"

"I know things," he interrupted, winking smugly, before leaping over the back of the sofa to go and ask Jasper if he was coming too.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**  
"Hunting"

We hadn't yet told Bella that a group of us were leaving for the weekend, which is why I now find myself outside my/her room exactly 5 minutes and 33 seconds before we were meant to set off. We thought she would perhaps worry about it otherwise, and that certainly wasn't good for her. None of us wanted to be the spokesperson; even my father wormed his way out of it. Of course, because she seems most comfortable with me for some godforsaken reason, I was the one who had to deliver the news.

 _Knock knock._

"Come in," she said quietly.

Immediately, the tone of her voice sent a wave of concern crashing through my body. What valid reason did I have to become so overwhelmingly worried about this human girl? I had to assume that it was partially because I knew no one else was around to care for her at the moment. Her vulnerability made me instinctively want to protect her.

I was in the room before two seconds had passed. Due to my extreme overreaction, I didn't even consider the right force to open the fragile door with. So, the handle ended up detached from it. I examined it closely, noting that I had unknowingly dented the metal with my fingers. If that wasn't a warning sign that I should never touch Bella, or any human for that matter... I don't know what will be.

She looked at me and I looked back at her, straight into her wide brown eyes.

Everything about her in that moment gave her away. Her breathing was quick, her heart was racing, her eyes were bloodshot, her face was a little red... she had been crying.

And, my god, it was a sad sight.

Her anguish was my first problem, one I wasn't sure I could solve. The second problem was that I was now holding a detached door handle in my right hand. At least the latter of the two was fixable.

"I've been meaning to fix that," I mumbled, shocked by the raw emotion in my tone. It sounded way too intense for such a simple statement, but I certainly wasn't expecting her tears to affect me like that; to make me feel so powerless.

I set the handle on my desk, finding it difficult not to notice that Bella's scent was now all over everything I owned. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact that my throat was on fire. Why did it have to be her? Why did it have to be this girl who threatened to single-handedly destroy everything I'd constructed in this pathetic life of mine?

"I haven't touched anything," she told me, a promise of sorts.

This confused me. I couldn't understand why she felt the need to tell me that, as if I would be angry with her for going near my things. Nothing in this room, aside from her, was worth anything at all. She could have it all, if she wished. There was a wall of books on one side that were just waiting for her to explore, and shelves of CDs that were ready to be listened to. I wanted her to know that she was welcome to anything and everything in here.

"You can help yourself to anything, Bella."

 _Except my feelings_ , I thought wryly, trying to suffocate my concern.

"I feel like I'm putting you out—"

"Don't worry about me," I interrupted her softly, shaking my head. "Are you alright?"

I studied her face once more, not caring if she thought I was being strange. It was less red now and her eyes were less bloodshot. The corners of her mouth were turned down, sign-posting her sorrow. She looked as though she was holding back tears. It was understandable. She hadn't once cried since she'd arrived here. In fact, she'd been undeniably brave through it all. We should have been prepared for this; we shouldn't have left her alone for so long today.

"I'm fine," she assured me, offering a smile.

To a human, perhaps it would have looked genuine.

"No, you're not," I said, moving to stand by her bed.

She followed me with her watery eyes, an indication that she was anxious. I wondered whether or not she could sense subconsciously that she shouldn't be near me; that it was dangerous for her to be near me. Or, perhaps she was simply wary after everything unknown to us that had happened to her. If I were in her position, I would find it rather difficult to trust anyone.

"You look like you're going to say something important," she commented, sniffling.

I laughed, though I wasn't amused. I was surprised by her accuracy.

"I've actually come to say goodbye," I explained, shrugging lightly. I figured if she could note my nonchalance, she may not regard my departure as a big deal.

I could see the reluctance in her eyes, that little bit of panic.

Again, I had to remind myself not to revel in the fact that someone wanted me to stay close to them. Her attachment to me was simply there because I'd helped her when no one else did. She was putting her faith in me, something no human should ever do. I was her security blanket, like Carlisle said.

"Goodbye?" she repeated, gnawing on her bottom lip.

"Not goodbye," I said, backtracking when I realised I'd just given her the impression of a permanent leave. This would frighten her; being left with people she didn't yet trust as much as she trusted me. "I'll see you on Sunday."

"Why?" she demanded, a crease forming between her eyes.

"My father, my brothers and I go camping often," I lied easily. "We all love the outdoors. The girls go themselves sometimes, or we all go together."

She nodded, though I could tell she wasn't done asking questions quite yet.

"Where are you camping?"

"Goat Rocks Wilderness," I replied, working to keep my tone casual, and hoping she hadn't heard of it.

"I've heard of that," she said, that little crease deepening. "Is that safe? I m-mean, not that it's any of my business..." She sighed, shaking her head. "Aren't there lots of bears?"

She was intelligent, that much was becoming clear.

We would have to be extremely careful around her.

"There are," I told her, nodding. "We'll be safe, though. We know what we're doing."

I knew there was nothing I could say to reassure her. The only thing that would calm her was when we returned home on Sunday. It warmed my cold heart a little that she truly worried about the lives of four strangers enough to ask about our safety in a place she knew was dangerous. Little did she know, other creatures were no match for us.

"Well, before you go," she said, looking down at her clasped hands nervously. "Could you please grab a book for me?"

The question made me smile. I was learning about her character, slowly and surely. It was unusual for me to feel as though I was talking to a complete stranger. Usually I got to know someone pretty well based on their thoughts. But she was different. And as much as I hated to admit it, it was kind of refreshing to have to learn about a person the way a human would.

"Which one?" I asked enthusiastically, trying to monitor my speed as I walked over to the bookcase.

 _Dude, hurry up!_ Emmett thought impatiently from the living room.

I tried to block out his voice.

 _I'll leave the morphine drip in until we're home again, then I'll try to move her onto pills before.._. Carlisle mused as he grabbed the keys for Emmett's jeep.

We were taking a car, something we'd never done on a hunting trip, with every intention of ditching it at the other end of the driveway. It was simply to keep on the safe side of things. If Bella felt well enough to move, we didn't want her wondering why all the cars were still here—especially now that she had a view of the front of the house in my room.

"You choose," she said, cocking her head to the side like a Border Collie.

A challenge?

I scanned the shelves quickly, already knowing what I was going to give her. There were endless options for a fan of the classics but I was around 99.6% sure she would be pleased with my decision.

"You seem like a _Wuthering Heights_ kind of girl," I guessed, holding up the book hopefully.

She looked comically surprised.

"How did you know that?" she asked, an unexpected smile gracing her lips. "I wish I was exaggerating when I say I've read that at least 40 times. It has to be my all time favourite book."

Her happiness was contagious, in this moment at least. She was crying just minutes ago but me choosing her favourite book had cheered her up. I was relieved by this. I'd managed to make her smile before going. Something about leaving her looking so sorrowful just didn't sit well with me.

I held the book out to her silently, not wanting to get too close. I was always cautious whenever I neared her, for fear that a sudden movement would result in my accidental loss of control—something neither of us could afford to happen. She took it hesitantly, her hand shaking violently. So weak. The IV needle tugged her back and she flinched. I could tell by the way her face scrunched up a little that it had hurt.

"I think Carlisle is going to take that out on Sunday," I assured her.

"Good," she said quietly, clearing her throat.

Her body heat had warmed me slightly, and I found myself surprisingly reluctant to leave the room. I wasn't completely alright with the severe protectiveness I felt towards her, it was so irrational. It wasn't until the second I had to leave that I realised Emmett was right when he said I'd be worrying about her. I certainly would be, and I had no idea why.

"See you," I said, almost propelling myself from the room.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**  
"Nightmares"

We'd decided to run further afield this time around, in search of larger prey. We figured it would be safer for all of us, not just myself, to be as full as possible with a human constantly in our presence. Especially one who smelled as good as Bella. The girls would most likely hunt closer to home once we were back, so that Bella wasn't left alone. Even though my appeal to her was by far the strongest, the others were certainly not oblivious to her sweet scent. Who could blame them? Very few of my kind would have left her alive, whether they wanted to or not.

She had faced death twice: a gun and a vampire.

And she had overcome death both times. Yet I could not guarantee that it would remain that way, perhaps the threat I posed would simply be too much for either of us to overcome. I could only be sure that I would not harm her intentionally, for that is not who I am. However, I could never forgive myself for the accident waiting to happen.

I sighed.

"Why the long face, Edward?" Jasper asked me quietly, the two of us sitting on a fallen tree watching Emmett annihilate a fully grown grizzly bear. Carlisle had gone further North to a river. He was far enough away that I couldn't hear his thoughts.

"Is self-hatred enough of an explanation?" I asked, offering him a forced smile.

"Now _that_ , that is something I can relate to."

We laughed, though neither of us felt true humour.

"I'm just thinking about everything that has happened," I admitted.

"It has been an odd few days," he said, pursing his lips thoughtfully. "Not that I've been around for much of it, mind you."

"Sorry about that," I muttered, frowning when his thoughts revealed his frustrations at being kept away.

"It's not your fault," he replied, shrugging. "It was the safest thing for the girl."

"She has a name," I pressed, confused by the way he always referred to her.

"Attachment isn't good for our kind," he explained. "I can feel it in all of you; the care, the concern you all have for her. God, even Rosalie feels some sort of obligation to her."

"That's probably because Rosalie can relate to her in a way that none of us can."

"Very true," he agreed, glancing sideways at me. "However, I can't fathom your concern for her."

"Trust me. Neither can I." I paused, trying to steer away from the touchy subject. "So, you don't want to end up getting attached to her."

"She isn't permanent, Edward. I acknowledge your attempt to change the subject but you were unsuccessful so please try to explain it to me. Why didn't you just kill her, get it over and done with?"

I looked up at the dark sky, contemplating whether or not I should answer him as I had initially intended. The truth was, I wasn't really sure what answer to give him simply because I didn't know the answer myself. Or, at the very least, I couldn't make sense of it.

"It's almost 2am," I whispered, more to myself than anyone. "Jasper, I don't understand what the hell is going on in my mind right now but I'll try to answer you as best I can. You know as well as anyone that I would never allow myself to hurt an innocent person."

"Think about how much easier it would have been. You're torturing yourself."

"And I would be torturing myself for eternity if I ever hurt her, especially after what happened to her. You weren't there, Jasper. You didn't see her lying in that meadow... bleeding to death. I can't even try to explain to you what that was like, how soul-destroying it was. She needed help and I was the only one who could give it to her, but I was also at risk of killing her myself. I've never been more torn."

He nodded, trying to understand. I could see in his mind that he was trying to picture the scenario, what it would have looked like; how it could have alternatively ended. The images in his mind were nowhere near what it was actually like, and not at all close to what it could have been.

"It must have been difficult for you," he whispered, swallowing audibly.

"It's not even just that, though," I said, shaking my head when Emmett finally sunk his teeth into his kill after taunting the poor thing for about fifteen minutes. "It's the fact that she was faced with a gun and then—" I laughed loudly. "—I come along, a damn vampire. How unlucky can someone possibly get?"

"Except, she wasn't faced with a gun. She was faced with another human, capable of being just as deadly as our kind. I'd be willing to bet that the person who did this to her, father or not, would be more terrifying to her than you if she knew what you were."

I gave him a flat look.

"Yes, humans surely can be just as deadly as us."

"What's more deadly, the gun or a thought?" he asked, raising his brows.

"The gun gives you the opportunity but a thought pulls the trigger."

"Did you two freaks just quote American Horror Story to each other?" Emmett called across the clearing, laughing as he brushed dirt off of his trousers.

We chuckled, both of us weighed down by the heaviness of the truth.

"I suppose we aren't the only monsters out there," I muttered.

"And certainly not the worst by any means," he added, diving off of the tree with the intent to tackle our brother.

He ran faster than should be possible in a world without the supernatural, leaping gracefully through the air. The two of them fell to the muddy grass with a dull thud, beginning a battle that was nowhere near as painful as mine.

* * *

Jasper decided to join Carlisle not long after our chat. Unfortunately, that meant I was now left with Emmett. I love him, of course I do, but when you're in turmoil there's probably one billion other people you would rather be with.

"You done?" he asked, frowning at my immaculate shirt.

I shrugged. "I might track a deer or two when we head home tomorrow. I couldn't drink anymore right now, even if I wanted to."

"I wonder if you would drink more—"

My mobile ringing cut his sentence short. It would be one of the girls. I was instantly confused, unable to remember any occasion ever of receiving a call during a hunt. Of course, I automatically assumed it would be bad so my phone was at my ear before I could even think about it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Edward," my mother replied, sounding overly enthusiastic. "Are you free to talk for a few minutes? You're on speaker. Bella and I are having a little cuddle just now and I was telling her that you lot tend to stay up late one of the nights you're away so that you can look at the stars."

A cuddle? I didn't know where this was going but I knew something unpleasant must have happened. I tried to run through a thousand different reasons for a phone call at 2.45am but was coming up short.

"Yeah, I'm free to talk. Emmett and I are actually doing that right now," I lied, glancing at him as he sat beside me. He was undoubtedly worried, though he didn't express it verbally.

"What can you see just now?" she asked me, her tone soothing.

There must be a good reason for Bella being awake at this time, and another good reason for Bella's silence on her end of the phone. Perhaps she couldn't sleep, or wasn't feeling well...

I tried not to overthink it, worrying wouldn't do any good. I looked again at the jewelled sky, noting that it looked exceptionally lovely tonight.

"It's a clear night so I can see more stars than I can count," I told them, my eyes scanning above me. "I can see the Cassiopeia constellation. There's a plane up there as well, I can see the lights flashing. I wonder where they're going."

I was clutching at straws here, realising that for some reason Esme was trying to get me to talk about something completely inconsequential at this precise moment.

"What else?" she asked softly.

Well, nothing.

I looked at Emmett, pleading with my eyes. He looked up too, trying to find something to talk about. The two of us were sitting there like a pair of idiots, looking above us at a sky full of things to talk about. Yet we couldn't seem to see them.

He face palmed, mouthing _the moon_.

I rolled my eyes. How had we not noticed the moon?

"It's not quite a full moon," I said, staring straight at it. "It's the right side that gives it away, that little uneven line. It's so bright, though, you probably wouldn't notice it wasn't a full moon unless you were truly looking at it."

"That sounds lovely, dear," Esme said. "Bella, I'm just going to pop to the toilet. Alice, why don't you tell her about the time you managed to push Emmett in the river?"

I stayed silent, knowing that Esme was leaving the room so that she could talk to me without Bella hearing. Was it something she would be embarrassed about? If so, why would Esme call _me_?

"I'm so sorry for calling you," she said, sighing quietly.

"Mom, it's alright. What happened? Is everything okay?"

"She woke up screaming, Edward. Rose, Alice and I were downstairs in our pyjamas watching a film and I swear, if my heart was still beating, it would have stopped right then. She was in such a state, I didn't know what to do."

I closed my eyes, letting my head fall forward. I didn't like to imagine that and, as selfish as it sounded, I was glad that I wasn't there to hear it. I knew that I would see the memory in her head tomorrow but I revelled in the fact that my mind was free from that at the moment.

"The nightmares are starting," I whispered.

"She wanted me to stay with her because she didn't want to be alone. I don't doubt that she'd much rather have you around so I figured calling you, hearing your voice and knowing that you're coming back, might help her get back to sleep."

Emmett gave my shoulder a pat, his way of reassuring me.

"Will she be alright?"

"She'll be fine, honey, she's just a little shaken up."

"Is there anything—"

"Don't worry about her," she interrupted swiftly. "I can hear her laughing at Alice."

"I'll let you get back to her," I said, running a hand through my wind-swept hair. "See you tomorrow."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

And that phone call, everyone, is how you nearly give a vampire a heart attack.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**  
"Family"

I hadn't taken two steps through the front door before I was enveloped in a loving hug from my mother. Alice managed to grab Jasper and Emmett in some sort of chokehold, and Rosalie went straight to Carlisle for a comforting embrace.

"Hi," I mumbled, surprised by the affection.

Of course, I know how much the girls love us but it wasn't often that we were welcomed home in this manner. I wasn't sure what to make of it, their thoughts revealed only gratitude that we were here.

"Hello," Esme whispered, pulling back to kiss my forehead.

Alice practically leaped onto my back next, giving me a hug so tight it would have shattered the bones in a human body. I laughed loudly, utterly dumbfounded. I pulled her around so that she was standing in front of me, not clutching me like a monkey, and held her at arms length.

She pouted, unappreciative of my reaction.

"Not that we don't love you all," Emmett said, scrunching up his face when Esme pulled his head down to give him a kiss also. "But this is exceptionally weird."

"What brought this on?" Carlisle asked, mildly amused, still holding Rosalie.

"Let's have a family chat," Esme said, gesturing for us to follow her into the living room.

We all trudged through at a human pace, something we'd decided to start doing around the house. We figured if we acted like humans consistently, there would be less room for errors when Bella is no longer bed-ridden. It seemed silly of us to plan ahead so much, when we didn't even know what would happen in a few hours never mind a few weeks.

We spread out around the room, sitting down in various places. I was forced between Esme and Carlisle on the East-facing sofa, making me feel like a child who was about to be given into trouble. For some peculiar reason, I felt like I was in much need of a good scolding. It seemed to me that I'd done every wrong thing I possibly could have in every situation I'd been in this week. Yet, there was still a nagging, impatient part of my mind that was telling me to go and check on Bella. I felt a little foolish.

"We were talking whilst you were away," Alice explained, wrapping her arms gently around Jasper's neck. "I guess we just wanted to take a few minutes to actually appreciate what we have here."

I frowned, wondering where this was going. Their thoughts weren't giving anything away. We quite often have family discussions about any serious matters, like relocation if one of us has noticed rising suspicions. It was never anything like this.

"Hey," Carlisle said, reaching over the armrests for Alice's hand. "What's going on?"

Alice sighed, trying to find the correct words. "After everything with Bella, we just felt like we should take a minute to acknowledge that we have a pretty awesome family."

"We _are_ pretty badass," Emmett said, making us all laugh quietly.

"You know what I meant," she said, throwing him a smile. "I don't say it enough, though I'm sure Edward hears it, but I really love you all more than I can express."

"I feel the same," Esme said, clasping her hand with mine.

"You don't realise sometimes how quickly it can all be taken away from you," said Rosalie, a sad look on her face. "Bella's so extremely lucky to be alive and goodness knows what happened to her before we met her. I know we all have our stories but this one is especially tragic and I feel as though we should just appreciate the fact that we have each other."

She shrugged, not making eye contact.

It took a lot for Rosalie to say that, to admit what she was feeling. I didn't have to be able to read her mind to know that. It was an emotional speech from the three of them and if I were human, I'm sure it would have brought a tear to my eye. I didn't really know what to say in response, I just held my mother's hand a little tighter.

"There's a lot of love in this room," Jasper said, grimacing slightly.

"That's a good thing," Carlisle replied, smiling adoringly at us. "I have something with you all that I never thought I'd have; a beautiful family. It's times like this I realise how lucky we truly are."

Lucky we aren't all dead, as we should be. I'd never liked this existence, I'd only come to accept it. I suppose, in a way, my father is right. I have more here than I would if I were rotting in a grave. However, that doesn't remove the everlasting sting of being what I am now. Surely, no amount of love was worth eternal damnation. Or maybe it was that I just didn't yet know a love so great. I'd never experienced something worth dying for, or anything worth suffering forever for. I couldn't possibly understand.

"Well, that was lovey dovey," Emmett said, standing from his place by Rosalie. "I'd actually quite like to go and say hello to Bella, I kind of missed the little human."

I frowned, wondering where the hell that had come from.

"You coming, Eddie?" he asked, giving me a subtle, knowing look.

I rolled my eyes, following him. I'd like to pretend that I wasn't looking forward to seeing her, but there was no point. They saw straight through my feigned nonchalance. They figured I'd grown attached to her because of her blood; because of my desire and reluctance to kill her. I didn't think that was the reason, I was sure. When her name crossed my mind this morning, I didn't once think of her blood. I just thought about her; about seeing her again.

We reached the room door and I could hear her turning the page of what I assumed was a book. It would be another classic, no doubt. I was unthinkingly about to knock on the door and waltz straight in when Emmett placed a firm hand on my shoulder.

"You should take it easy," he muttered quietly, so she wouldn't hear.

"I always do."

"I'm just reminding you. Edward, you've not been around her for a few days, her scent is bound to hit you like a wrecking ball when you walk in to that enclosed space. It might be best for you to hold your breath at first," he suggested, giving me a wary look.

He wasn't sure if he was stepping over the line here; if he was being too overbearing. I knew he was right, I knew that I should stop taking risks but for some reason I was convinced that I was totally in control of myself. I knew for sure that I most certainly was not in complete control of myself so why on earth I was being so foolish was beyond my comprehension.

Just like that, I stopped breathing.

 _I'll talk first_ , he thought. _It'll give you a minute or two to test yourself, alright? Just try to figure out if you can handle it and if you can't, there's no cowardice in leaving the room. Just calmly and quietly exit. I'll cover for you, bro._

I nodded in thanks, trusting him with all of my being.

I closed my eyes momentarily, lifting my pale hand to hesitantly knock on the door.

Her breath hitched, her heart stuttered a little, and she released a shaky sigh. It was as if that small sound, that gentle tap on the wooden door, had startled her. I felt, now more than ever, that I was walking on broken glass.

"Come in," she said, her voice soft and controlled.

She was straining herself to sound normal. It was becoming clear that she didn't like our hospitality, though she appreciated it more than anything. She did not enjoy being cared for and I couldn't understand this. I wanted to ask her why but it wasn't something I could ask someone I've only known for such a short period of time. Again, it would be prudent for me to be able to read her mind, for then I would never have to consider asking her.

Emmett entered first, giving her a grin so friendly that her shoulders visibly relaxed from their tense state. I offered her a smile too, and she responded to both of us in the same way.

It was strange, having not seen her for a few days, that she looked even more frail than before I left. Was there some underlying reason for this? Was she not improving any? Carlisle's thoughts hadn't alarmed me in any way, they seemed to say that she was moving forward at a steady pace. He was so convinced that she was going to be absolutely fine that he was no longer taking her in for any scans at the hospital. He was the fully qualified one between us. He was the one who had been practicing his profession for a couple of hundred years. So, why was my idiotic self even attempting to question his knowledge?

"I missed you," Emmett said, that silly grin still fixed on his face.

I wanted to smack him over the head for saying that out loud.

"Uh," she mumbled, looking up from _Pride and Prejudice_ in confusion. "Thanks... for saying that." She frowned, as if she was confused by her own words.  
I couldn't help but release a short laugh.

"You're most welcome," he said, wondering why I found anything funny. I just shook my head at him in response. "Been up to much this weekend?"

He took a seat right on her bed, so close to her that I was unnerved. Our family had never had much interaction with humans, aside from Carlisle, but the way they were with Bella was so natural. It certainly wasn't that easy for me. Then again, none of them were experiencing the desire for her blood to the extent that I was.

Then I remembered that I was supposed to be testing myself right now.

One deep breath, just one.

 _Oh_.

I nearly choked on the air I took in because of the shock the smell sent through my entire body. I should have expected it but my separation from her had only knocked me backwards. It was almost as bad as the first time I smelled her. I could see it, I could see myself lunging at her throat. And I did the worst thing I could possibly have done. I panicked.

"Tell me everything you did," I blurted out unthinkingly. I sounded harsh, threatening.

Anything. _Anything_ to get her to talk.

Distraction. Distraction. Distraction.

"Well," she said quietly, looking slightly alarmed. "When you left, I read some of Wuthering Heights. I got too frustrated with Heathcliff again so I had to put it down. Alice asked if I wanted to play chess so we did. I'm rubbish, I know that already, so I'm pretty sure she let me win both times." She glanced up, as if to check that she was doing well.

"What else?" I asked through my teeth, inching forward so that I was standing closer to her bed.

"I slept a lot," she said, averting her eyes from me again. "I've been feeling quite tired. I suppose that's normal after... what happened. I had some nightmares but I guess you kind of know about that already. Esme, Alice and Rosalie tried to make me feel better but it didn't help very much. I'm not entirely sure if anything will help that."

Without really considering it, I looked her over properly. It was another distraction, identifying any significant changes. She was wearing Alice's favourite pyjamas. Her skin was flushed and her long hair was pulled back into a ponytail to keep it away from her face. The bruises on her arms had faded ever so slightly but were still a dark shade of purple. She was fidgeting with the thin blanket covering her, making me aware that she was feeling uncomfortable.  
Had I frightened her? Most likely.

"Edward didn't get much sleep last night," Emmett told her, throwing me a sly glance. "So, excuse him if he's a little grumpier than usual."

"The only thing making me grumpy is you," I replied, smiling sweetly at him.

She laughed softly.

Something about casual conversation seemed to calm her.

"Did you enjoy camping?" she asked timidly, glancing at us both for a fleeting moment.

"Yes," I said, smiling without meaning to as I stepped closer again. "Though I'd rather Emmett had stayed behind."

She laughed again, and her whole face lit up. I wasn't sure whether I was intentionally trying to make her laugh now, or whether I was just being honest. Either way, I was semi-sane again and that was definitely the most important thing.

"I should have thrown you to the grizzly bears," he said jokingly.

"I think I could take on a grizzly bear," I said, straightening my back.

"Okay, Edward," he muttered, rolling his eyes.

We were silent then, unsure of how much further we could take that joke without just telling her what we were actually doing. Emmett remained on the edge of her bed, scrolling absentmindedly through some pictures on his phone. I shuffled a little, trying to remind myself to act human.

"Would you like a different book?" I offered, staring at the way she was constantly fidgeting after throwing Pride and Prejudice onto the bed beside her.

"Oh, I'm out," Emmett said. _I can't deal with nerdy book talk_ , he added in his head. "See you later, kid."

"Bye," she whispered, looking up at me after a moment or two. "Yes, please."

"Do you have one in mind? Or a particular genre?" I probed, wandering slowly over to the wall of bookshelves.

"Hmmm," she mumbled, pursing her lips. "What would you suggest as something to fall asleep to? I think a nap would probably be a wise idea."

The first thing that came to my mind was fairytales, primarily because that's what children read before bedtime. The young woman in front of me was far from a child so I wasn't sure that I should suggest it to her. However, I wondered if she would find some comfort in something as such.

"How about a fairytale?"

The words were out of my mouth before I had time to ponder them further.

"A fairytale?" she repeated, bewildered.

I wasn't sure if she was amused, or upset, or genuinely confused by my suggestion.

"I thought that—"

"I've never read a fairytale before," she admitted quietly, looking down at her small hands again.

"Not even when you were little?" I asked, plucking Esme's original copy of Cinderella from the shelf.

"Never," she whispered. "I wasn't allowed to read them."

"No one ever read them to you?"

I took a deep breath, accepting the pain that would come with it.

"I would ask sometimes," she told me, eyes never leaving her hands. "The other kids always talked about them; they'd pretend to be Princes and Princesses in the playground. My, uh, my dad said I wasn't supposed to play along with them because they were lying." She sighed. "He said no one gets the happy endings fairytales promise."

I clenched my fists, not because of her scent, but instead because of the anger that this triggered within me. What a thing to say to a little girl.

I wanted to ask her more questions but I knew I was lucky enough to have been told even this. I didn't want to push her too far. Besides, I was meant to be helping her get to sleep, not giving her even more nightmares.

"Do you know anything about _Cinderella_?" I wondered, only just realising that I had set myself down on the chair conveniently placed right next to her.

"Just from listening to the other kids," she said. "I don't really know the beginning, or the ending, or very much of what happens in between. I just know some of the characters and... something about a glass slipper."

"Ahhh, the glass slipper causes some mayhem," I told her, smiling softly even though she wasn't looking at me.

"Will you read it to me?"

For a second, just one split second, I thought I had deluded myself into thinking she had asked me that very innocent, very sweet question. It wasn't until I looked up from the familiar book cover to see her chocolate-brown eyes boring into mine that I realised she truly had just asked me that. There was something about this moment that sent a wave of warmth flooding through me and I was taken aback by the unexpected tenderness I felt towards her.  
Looking at me the way she was, _how could I say no?_

Would this comfort her? Perhaps.

Was this a risk for her? Definitely.

Was I about to read _Cinderella_ to her? Without a doubt.

" _Once upon a time_..."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**  
"Final Decision"

"... _and they lived happily ever after_ ," I concluded quietly, gently closing the worn book.

The wave of tenderness I had felt towards her when she asked if I would read to her was still coursing through my body. It was more like a tsunami, now that she was sound asleep right before my eyes. The innocence of the last half an hour moved me, and I couldn't understand why. Perhaps it was the sadness that lay in the fact she'd had an awful childhood. Some of those years were supposed to be the best of her life and it seemed to be that they were instead some of the worst.

We knew this was the case for a lot of human beings. With this girl, it was different. Firstly, because we were actually communicating with her and I wasn't just finding things out in her thoughts. Secondly, it was different because of Bella. The way she is—the gentleness, the pureness—was mystifying after everything she'd been through. What we knew so far about her past was little, but that didn't make it any less tragic. I wondered how much worse these revelations were going to get.

I sighed, glancing at her face once more.

In stillness, she was undeniably enchanting. I'd known that already but I'd never really mulled over her beauty until now. Her face, relaxed as it was, became more defined. Her eyebrows were perfectly arched, but slightly unbalanced. Her cheekbones were sharp—not quite symmetrical—and the skin covering them was almost always flushed crimson. A light trail of freckles covered her nose, a sweet uniqueness to her face. Her bottom lip jutted out slightly more than the top, an appealing feature...

I shook my head, standing to return _Cinderella_ to the shelf.

I left the room swiftly, forcing myself to give her privacy whilst she slept. I felt uneasy about not being in the room, though I knew that there was nothing I could do about the nightmares if they were going to come. I couldn't control her damaged mind any more than she could.

I found my parents in the living room, searching hopelessly through news channels for any mention of a girl matching Bella's description. This activity had become a habit now, something we all did whenever we had spare time—which was often.

"That was lovely," Esme whispered, referring to what had happened upstairs.

"I've never read to anyone before, it was strange."

"It will mean more to her than you know," Carlisle said, taking his eyes off of the screen for a few seconds to give me a sad smile.

Esme pulled my arm towards her until I was sitting on the sofa with them, helping with the search. The others joined us too, their thoughts telling me they already knew we wouldn't find anything. Carlisle switched to a world news channel, the last of a long list and also the least likely to mention a missing girl from Phoenix. The reporters were covering a terrorist attack in London, uncontrollable fires in Portugal, a freak tornado in Greece...

What did it matter how much we searched if no one had even reported her missing?

"I don't understand," I admitted. "I can't understand why no one is looking for her."

"I know, dear," said Esme, rubbing my arm softly.

"It doesn't make sense," I added, running a hand through my untameable hair in frustration. "You should have seen her up there when she asked me to read to her—the way she looked at me."

"I heard it in her voice," Emmett said, leaning against the wall across the room. "She sounded like a kid, like she was afraid you'd give her into trouble for asking a question."

We were silent then, listening to the tragedies going on around the world and hoping that we would be presented with some sort of lead. I think we all knew, really, that we were wasting our time doing this. No part of me wanted to admit that she was alone; that no one thought she was worth finding. It made me feel sick.

"There's nobody to take her home to, is there?" Rosalie said, finally voicing what we all were thinking.

"I don't think so," Carlisle mumbled, switching the television off and placing the remote control carefully on the coffee table in front of us. "Sure, this makes the situation less complicated in one sense. However, it increases the complexity in other ways."

"He's right," Jasper said, squeezing Alice's hand. "We're in the clear in terms of having to explain ourselves to any of her family but we're still in a bit of a bad situation. It almost works having her here temporarily but. . .what do we do with her next?"

"I say we keep her," Emmett announced, grinning like a fool.

"She's not a pet," Rosalie snapped, shoving his shoulder roughly. "Jasper has a point. I mean, we voted to have her stay here for now. She's healing quickly in the physical sense, we really need to have a plan."

This made me frown. Though we'd all known she was only here to heal, we hadn't truthfully considered what we would do next. I'd been letting my imagination run away from me. Carlisle was right, the situation was exceptionally complex and Bella's awareness only made it more difficult. Though she was innocent, she wasn't a child, and this fact would make it harder for us not to come across as suspicious. She seemed to be unusually astute, too, which meant there was no room for errors. She would notice everything.

"We can hardly just send her out into the world alone," Esme said, shutting down one possible route before anyone else could even think it.

"I agree," Jasper said, shaking his head. "It's dangerous for her to be here, especially with Edward and I so close but... there are other dangers out there."

"That's very true," Carlisle agreed, gazing into Esme's eyes for a short moment. "If her father is responsible for this—which we still don't know for sure—he's probably walking the streets as normal."

"Whoever hurt her meant to kill her," Alice said, speaking up for the first time. "If she runs into that person and they see that she's still alive... I can't even think about what would happen to her."

I realised then how angry we all were—angry at the person who'd hurt her. Jasper noticed, too, but made no move to calm the room. Our anger would fuel some sort of plan. It was odd, the way we'd all rallied around this human girl. I took a moment to let the reality that she was alive sink in. I almost couldn't believe the entire thing. I couldn't comprehend that she'd survived a bullet skimming her heart, then an unexpected encounter with my kind—where more than one of us were at great risk of losing control and ending her life anyway. Not that she knew this, of course.

"So, she stays," Emmett said, his tone light.

I rolled my eyes. "Emmett, you say that like it's simple."

"It _is_ simple," he argued, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "Well, that is assuming no one will kill her," he added, throwing both Jasper and myself a pointed look.

"If I ever hurt her," I said quietly, the thought disgusting me. "It wouldn't be intentional."

"Of course not," Esme agreed, kissing my cheek tenderly.

"Listen," Emmett continued, "We're overthinking this way too much. Either she stays with us or she goes. However we do this, she's at risk of dying." I cringed at his casual use of the word. "We let her go, and she bumps into good old Rambo again. Or, we let her stay with us and she might just survive."

"The odds aren't so great whatever we decide," Alice mumbled, throwing her head back.

I think I had some sort of unexpected epiphany as I sat there, weighing the alternatives. I realised with a start that Emmett was actually completely right for once. The girl upstairs had no chance out in the world, despite how brave she seems to be. Here, she was living in a house full of vampires who might end her life if they have a lapse in control. However, they will definitely expend a great deal of effort to keep her safe.

"Being with us is a risk she shouldn't have to take," I concluded, standing up from my place on the sofa. "But there's also no safer place for her."

My parents exchanged a nervous look.

I began subconsciously pacing around the room, a very human action.

"It doesn't matter how much turmoil her presence is causing me, I'll try to get used to it." I paused. "I _will_ get used to it. The situation is impossible but I don't see any other way. She has to stay with us."

"What do you think, Carlisle?" Esme asked him softly, her pride for me shining in her eyes. I could hear in her thoughts that she was pleased I had taken a liking to Bella—as we all had. Each of us, to some extent, cared about the girl.

"Do I think it's feasible?" he questioned. "Perhaps, yes."

"We have to remember that the longer she's here, the more she's going to notice. She's clever, Carlisle. What if she..." I trailed off, knowing he knew what I meant.

"It rarely happens," he reminded me.

 _She's probably seen worse_ , Emmett thought.

"Emmett," I snapped, disapproving.

"I'm just thinking here," he defended, holding up his hands. "It's true, though. She probably _has_ seen worse and to be bluntly honest with you, we probably wouldn't scare her as much as you think."

"Oh, so the next best plan is to tell her what we are then," I said, throwing as much sarcasm into my words as I possibly could.

"I'm not suggesting that," he said, rolling his eyes. "I don't feel like a meeting with the Volturi any time soon."

"Ah," said Carlisle. "They are another problem. If they find out we have a human here..."

"That's unlikely," Jasper argued. "They tend not to get involved, as you know. The only reason they would find out is if someone told them which again, is unlikely."

"I'm just saying that exposure isn't the biggest worry—"

"It's actually quite a significant thing to worry about, Emmett," Jasper interrupted him, laughing though he found nothing funny.

"Shut up, you two," Rosalie breathed, playing with a lock of her platinum-blonde hair. "I'm willing to take the risk. Who's with me?"

"I am," Alice and I said simultaneously, sending each other a grin.

"Without a doubt," Esme whispered, after sharing yet another long look with Carlisle.

Emmett shrugged. "You guys know where I stand. I'm 100% sure about this."

"I'm in, too," Jasper announced, wrapping his arm around Alice.

We all looked to Carlisle, wondering what his next words would be. I could hear that he was deliberating over whether or not he should put his foot down in this one but I knew that he never would. In his mind, we would stick together.

"We're setting up for an uncertain future," he warned. "Whatever happens, we'll deal with it as a family. We'll have to have a stronger façade than ever— we'll eat with her occasionally, we'll take bathroom breaks, and so on. In a couple of years, she'll hopefully be off to University and she'll be following her own path. She has a home here for as long as she needs it and then..."

"We'll leave her to her life," I finished, the idea squeezing my chest.

How strange it was for me to dread her eventual departure. I hadn't been concerned when I thought she was only staying until she was better. Why now was I worried about her leaving in two years? Did I know that we would all only grow to care for her more in that time? Did I know that we would only find it harder to say goodbye?

Jasper's eyes met mine, silently asking what had caused the sudden despair I was feeling. I shot my eyes away from his, unable to form an explanation for myself never mind for him. He promised me in his head that he would be talking to me later, and his thoughts were elsewhere before I could find out why.

"We should probably ask her if that's what she wants," I said, distracting my suddenly wild thoughts.

Esme laughed. "We'll speak to her tomorrow morning, as a family."

"School starts back in a few weeks," Carlisle mused, pursing his lips. "We'll get her enrolled to begin junior year."

"We need to come up with a story," Esme said, resting her head on Carlisle's shoulder.

Emmett rubbed his hands together excitedly. "I've got a few ideas..."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**  
"Hypothetically"

I probably looked as though I was trying to solve the Millennium Prize Problems, the way I was staring down at the packet of porridge in my hand. Carlisle handed it to me around ten minutes ago when he left for a dayshift at the hospital. It was his first day back at work. The outcome of his decision to leave breakfast up to me would have been more positive had he actually told me how to make the food he had in mind.

"Esme?" I called, hating to concede.

She was at my side seconds later, carrying a bundle of laundry from my/Bella's room. I noted that Bella's scent had saturated the cotton so much that the burn in my throat was almost as strong as being in her presence. I fought the urge to shut off my breathing, letting the desire flood through me in torment.

 _Fill the sachet up to the red line with milk_ , she instructed mentally, patiently leaning against the counter in front of us.

I did as she said, taking notes in my head the entire time. She'd been doing this the last few mornings after Carlisle had shown her, so she was now a prodigy at making porridge. The required focus was a good thing, it distracted me from the mouth-watering scent coming from Bella's clothes.

"Good?" I checked, showing her my attempt.

 _Perfect_ , she assured me, grinning in amusement. _Pour that into one of the bowls Alice bought on Friday, then put it into the microwave for a couple of minutes._

I did this, too, and left the unexceptional meal heating up in a device none of us had ever used before. It took me a second to work out the buttons but it ended up being a lot simpler than I had anticipated.

"I've never felt more human," I mumbled, habitually running a hand through my hair.

"It seems that way, doesn't it? I suppose these are all the little things we'll have to get used to."

"What if she doesn't want to stay? Alice's visions are so erratic that she can't tell us for certain what Bella's decision will be."

"I'm fairly confident that she'll want to stay," she told me surely, planting a tender kiss on my cheek. "Whether she truly wants to or not, I think her instincts will lead her to the option that will give her the best chance of survival. Like you said, she's a clever girl."

"I'm not so sure she has survival instincts, judging by her lack of terror when she's close to any of us," I said, retrieving the porridge from the microwave carefully. It honestly looked like one of the most unappetising things I'd ever set my eyes on.

"She beat the odds by a long stretch, my boy," she reminded me, throwing a spoon from the cutlery tray into my waiting hand.

"I don't think that was her survival instincts; I'm positive it was a miracle," I corrected, giving her a small smile. "Is this ready to go up?"

"Add a sprinkle of sugar to sweeten it, put the spoon in the bowl and then you're good to go."

* * *

I knocked on my own bedroom door, an action that would never have crossed my mind before I sacrificed my room for Bella. My family had questioned my motives for suggesting she be moved there, but they had all recently concluded that I had done so because it truly was the best option for her. She seemed more comfortable there and I could only make guesses as to why that was. It could be a multitude of things; the books surrounding her, all of the windows, the warmth...

"Come in," she said, her voice slightly hoarse.

I opened the door slowly to find her lying on her side. She was curled up tightly, able to do so that now the IV drip was no longer needed. She'd been managing to drink water for the last 24 hours which was a good sign. Her eyes were locked on the trees surrounding the house. I wasn't surprised by this, I used to do the same thing. The beauty of Forks was undeniable, even if it was one of the most boring places we'd ever relocated to. Though tedious, we found it relatively easy to exist in peace here. Usually.

"Good morning," I muttered, the words feeling foreign on my tongue. It wasn't a phrase I used often, unless addressing a stranger. After a century without sleep, you can probably understand why the pleasantry had fallen out of fashion lately around here.

"Hi," she replied, struggling to sit up when I made my way over to her.

"Take your time," I warned, waiting until she was comfortable before I handed her the bowl.

"Thanks."

"I've never actually made porridge before so this was a first."

"You've never made porridge?" she asked, her tone skeptical.

I shook my head. "Did you sleep well?"

"Um, no," she admitted. "Not really."

As she swivelled the spoon around the bowl—mixing its contents in a way that made me think of a petulant child who didn't want to eat her vegetables—the expression on her face changed. She had looked on edge when I entered the room, and her short responses had me considering that she wasn't in a very good mood, but this change confused me. Her eyes widened slightly in alarm and I literally saw the colour drain from her face. The little V between her eyes deepened and she leaned forward uncertainly. It wasn't until she speedily placed the bowl on the table we'd put next to her, that I realised why her expression had shifted so suddenly.

She was going to be sick.

Luckily, somewhere buried very deep down inside of me, I still had some sort of human instincts. Instead of just letting her throw up everywhere, I had enough sense to grab the bucket Carlisle had previously placed by the bed. I had just managed to get it under her chin when she vomited. Automatically, my hands went to her long hair to move it away from her face—the most cautious action I had ever carried out in my entire existence.

I'd seen her this way before, through my father's eyes, but I was taken aback by the worry I felt. I knew that it was irrational, I truly did, but a small part of me was still concerned. It was awful to see with my own eyes and I couldn't help but wonder how Carlisle managed to deal with things like this on a daily basis, no matter how long he'd been doing it for.

Once the phsyical vomiting had stopped, the dry-wretching was next. That was undoubtedly the worst part to witness and I wanted to comfort her—it seemed to be causing her a lot of upset—but I didn't know how to. For once, I was in turmoil over something that was completely unrelated to her scent.  
When she finally relaxed, I did too.

"Sorry," she whispered, a small whimper escaping her lips. "That was disgusting."

"Don't apologise," I insisted, letting her hair fall onto her back. "Besides, I've seen worse."

She laughed, despite the unshed tears in her eyes. "I didn't feel right when I woke up, I knew it was coming."

"I guess becoming a chef is out of the question for me. I don't think people are supposed to throw up at the sight of the food you make," I joked, moving the bucket away from her so that she didn't have to look at it. Surely, it would only make her feel more ill.

She smiled, closing her eyes. "I thought I was getting better."

"You are," I assured her. "That's the first time you've been sick for a couple of days, which is definitely progress."

"That's true," she agreed, slowly re-opening her eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"If I give you a hypothetical scenario, would you listen?" she asked, pulling her duvet cover tighter around her.

Something about this question amused me, but I nodded anyway.

"Okay..." She sighed, as if trying to find the energy to say what was on her mind. "Let's say there's a girl who was in a very bad situation for a long time, and when she tried to get out of the very bad situation she ended up making it worse and... and she got seriously hurt."

I sobered up immediately, the direction of the conversation shocking me.

"I'm following," I said softly, sitting down on the single chair beside her.

"Luckily for her, a very kind but rather strange family found her," she continued, "and they've been taking care of her. The thing is, she can't help but think about the other not-so-nice person she used to know and she's afraid that he's going to find out she's still alive."

"Does this girl have any idea where the not-so-nice person might have went?"

She looked outside at the trees again. "She thinks he might go back to Phoenix to sort some things out but she's not convinced he'll stay there. She's sure he'll come back."

I nodded, trying to keep my expression neutral. "Was she close with him?"

"According to society, she was supposed to be," she mumbled, still staring outside. "But she doesn't think he loved her very much, and she thinks he blamed her for something that happened when she was only six."

I let that confession lie in the tense air for a few moments, gathering my own thoughts before I said anything. I had to be careful here, because she was telling me a hell of a lot more than she'd told anyone else and certainly more than I deserved. I didn't want to betray the unexpected trust she had placed in me by being too demanding.

"Do many people know what happened when she was a little girl?"

"It was in the paper," she whispered, swallowing nervously. "She, um, knows that the stories published weren't entirely true. She was there, the journalists weren't, so how could they know what happened? Everyone blamed her mom but it was her dad's fault." She looked at me then, her eyes brimming with secrets of an indescribably painful past. "Everything that happened was his fault."

I nodded, unable to form a coherent response. I simply continued looking into her brown eyes, hoping she would see the sorrow in mine. No spoken apology would suffice and what good would it do eleven years later? I didn't even know the full story yet and already, I couldn't comprehend the suffering she must have endured in her short life. This wasn't a memory in someone's thoughts, it was happening right in front of me. The scars were new, the wound was fresh, and her fear triggered something inside of me. I was ready to tear someone apart; flesh from muscle, skin from bone.

However, the most important thing here was that she was frightened and needed some sort of reassurance from me. She knew I would give her that—it's all I'd done since I found her—which is why she'd chosen to confide in me.

"I think she needs to know that the very kind but rather strange family would never let anything happen to her on their watch," I promised, my eyes never leaving hers. "She's safe with them, and they'll try their hardest not to give her food that makes her sick."

Her laughter cut the tension, and I smiled in response. It didn't matter that my teasing was the most unfunny thing ever, as long as it amused her. I was amazed that she could even crack a smile after everything she'd just told me and I was suddenly, unexpectedly desperate to make sure she knew that I would keep her safe; from myself and her father.

"It wasn't your kitchen expertise, I promise," she said, moving her hair over her left shoulder.

"I'll accept that if you let me promise something to you in return..."

"Hypothetically?"

"No, this one is real."

"I'm listening," she said, curiosity clear on her face.

"I promise that I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

She cocked her head to the side, her bright eyes never leaving my face. She was trying to read my expression, I could tell. She wanted to know that I wasn't just saying what I thought she wanted to hear; she was making sure that I meant it.

"I believe you," she whispered, her cheeks heating up under the intensity of my gaze. I looked away then, not wanting to ruin this oddly sweet moment by being a ferocious monster.

"Good," I replied quietly. "Would you like me to get you anything?"

"I could really use some water if it's not too much trouble."

"I think I can handle that," I said, standing up to grab the bucket I'd placed out of her sight. "I'll rinse this out as well. Give me about three minutes."

She giggled, possibly at the precise time frame I'd given her. I didn't notice how strange it was to say that to someone until I'd already said it. No one says that. Five minutes would have been less weird, or perhaps if I'd just said give me a few minutes...

Just as I took a step out of the room, her gentle voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" I said, doing a swift 180 turn in the doorway to look at her.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Bella."


	14. Chapter 14

****Chapter 14****  
"Jasper's Warning"

After vomiting this morning, Bella successfully ate a good bit of the porridge I'd taken up for her—surprising all of us. When Carlisle returned home to this good news, he told us that he had a funny feeling it had something to do with the fact that _I'd_ made it. I had rolled my eyes, telling him he was being absurd.

"Esme is taking Bella for a shower," Alice informed me, sitting so close to me on the sofa that she might as well have just sat on my knee. "We figured she'd be more comfortable in a bathing suit, you know? Plus, it means you don't feel obligated to leave."

"Good idea," I said, nodding approvingly.

"Her back is healing fairly quickly."

I grimaced at that, remembering the vivid visual Esme's mind had given me the first time she'd taken her to wash. Just the memory alone made me feel sick to my stomach. In addition to that, what she'd told me this morning had confirmed what we'd all suspected; her own flesh and blood was the one responsible.

"You were really great with her this morning, you know," she added, smiling up at me proudly—as if I'd done something incredible.

I shrugged, hating the praise I kept receiving from them. "I was lucky."

"You don't give yourself enough credit," she chastised, raising her brows quizzically. "I think you really should be proud of yourself. Mom is right—Bella _did_ beat the odds—but you did as well. Don't forget that."

"Alice—"

"Jaz is coming to talk to you," she said, ruffling my hair as she stood. "As much as I disagree with him, he's only trying to help. Don't get too mad."

And she was gone, bounding away from me like a gazelle. What grace she had for a being who was designed to be a killing machine. Her intention was to join the others who had started research into Bella's past, seeking some sort of details. Perhaps a date, or an address even, would give us a clearer story. We hadn't heard about her mother; maybe we could find out why. Nonetheless, we were definitely more worried than curious. It seemed that there was something resembling a horror film going on here.

* * *

 _Edward, you really do get irritated way too easily. I'm just trying to explain to you the dangers of having any sort of—  
_  
"Enough," I snapped, my patience dwindling down to almost nothing. "I'm not going to get attached to her."

 _You already are, that's what I'm worried about.  
_  
"Jasper, I'm the one who can read minds—not you. Stop trying to tell me what's going on in my own head because you have no idea."

 _I can feel_ _what you're feeling, whether you recognise the emotion yourself or not. I don't need to get inside your mind to know what's going on in there.  
_  
"I thought we all cared about her, hence why she's still here."

"She's vulnerable, Edward, and her story is an awfully heart-breaking one. Keeping her here, as we've already discussed, is the most sensible and humane thing to do. However, you often don't even realise the amount of concern you have for her. I'm not suggesting she leave or anything like that—of course not—but I'm just thinking of _you_."

"I appreciate that but I'm not discussing this."

"Fair enough," he allowed, shrugging. "Just be careful."

"You too," I said before I could stop myself, giving him a pointed look.

I knew those words were a hit below the belt, seen as I was well aware that he was taking a massive risk himself in having Bella close. We were both facing the same challenge and neither of us were anywhere near overcoming it. For now, it seemed that we were both in some sort of control. However, the fear of doing the unthinkable was constant. If one of us, for even a split second, wasn't focusing enough on keeping ourselves in check, she could be dead. And all she'd survived thus far would be for nothing.

What a tragedy it would be if any of us were to hurt her.

He raised a questioning brow, but said nothing in response. He simply got up and left the room, joining the rest of my family in their search for answers. I hadn't yet done the same because part of me was worried that we _would_ find something, and that it would be terrible. It didn't matter that we needed to know what her life entailed before the shooting, I wasn't sure it was something any of us would _want_ to know. Nonetheless, we would just have to deal with whatever was coming our way.

Whilst I waited for any sort of discovery in the other room, I sat back on the sofa and listened carefully to Bella's heartbeat. This was something we all did; paranoia at its finest. She was sleeping soundly so it was much steadier than usual. It's such a peculiar thing, finding comfort in the sound of a heart beating. I tried to understand this, noting that it probably had a lot to do with the relief that came with knowing I hadn't harmed her; that she was still alive. She sleeps a lot, kind of like a newborn baby, which is a good thing. It means her fragile body is getting the rest it needs. We were, perhaps, out of the touch-and-go stage. It seemed that she was going to make it through this.

Carlisle had already made plans to enrol Bella in Forks High School. It was something that we always knew would have to be done if she were to stay, something I'd thought of way before the decision was made that she _would_ stay. It also meant we had to come up with some kind of explanation for her sudden appearance. It would be easy enough, seen as Esme and Carlisle are well-known for _adopting kids_ , something the townsfolk had figured out all by themselves. I'm sure the easiest route would be to tell anyone who is brave enough to ask that she is simply the newest addition.

I realised with a start that I had forgotten something. What if Bella wasn't willing to go along with a fake story? She shouldn't have to lie to anyone, yet that is something we would have to ask of her. I wondered how suspicious this would make her. Maybe she would start to question us and our motives. She has been exceptionally cooperative for the short time we've known her but there is no guarantee that will continue; especially when we suggest to her that she stay here more permanently. Then, though we were sure it wouldn't be the case, there was always the possibility that she may not want to remain with us. Because I couldn't read her mind, I had no idea what on earth she thought of our strange, chalky-skinned family. Alice's visions were still erratic, the future more uncertain than ever before. Again, the outcome would have to be one of those _just wait and see_ type of things.

Suddenly, the shock of the thoughts I heard from my family had me alarmed. I was with them in seconds, unsure of exactly what had caused the minor panic. All eyes were on Alice and it didn't take me long to realise that I'd ironically missed one of her visions because I was so lost in thought about how abnormal her visions had been. This one was certain, though that didn't make it any less unnerving than if it weren't. For what Alice had seen was the Denali Coven, the closest thing we have to relatives, heading towards Forks.

"That's not good," Carlisle mumbled, after Alice had explained what she'd seen.

"How so?" Rosalie asked, frowning in confusion.

"Having Bella here is something we really do want to keep quiet. It's the most likely way we'll avoid being interrogated by the Volturi." He paused, wrapping his arm tightly around Esme. "As much as I trust our friends in Alaska, their visit is a little risky."

"How much exactly do we need to worry about this Volturi?" Alice asked, only recalling a couple of times they'd ever been mentioned.

I wanted to answer for him because I knew he would put it lightly. There are no words to describe the amount of danger we'd all be in if they were to find out we have a human here. Not to mention what they would do to Bella. These frightening realities were what I'd learned from Carlisle's thoughts, seen as he'd spent time with them many years ago. There was one rule my kind weren't allowed to break, and we would pay the price if we ever did. Carlisle had seen first hand what happens to those who risk exposure; to vampires and humans alike.

"It depends," he said, sighing.

"On?"

"It just depends."

"Is there time to call them?" Esme asked Alice, nervously rubbing Carlisle's arm.

"There is time but there's no point," she replied, checking ahead again. "Even if we call them and ask them not to come for their annual visit, their curiosity will prompt them to come anyway."

"What if we—"

She shook her head. "They're definitely coming. Tomorrow, I think."

"This is getting more and more dangerous by the day," I muttered under my breath. "What if they hunt on the way here and pick up Bella's scent in the area? It'll still be relatively fresh in some places. We'll have to cut them off before they get to the house; to warn them."

"That's a seriously good point," Jasper agreed, resting his head on Alice's. "They're good at this life, like ourselves, but we all have our moments. They might not be oblivious to her appealing scent, Carlisle. It won't by any means be as potent as it is for Edward, but it certainly does make her more desirable."

"I'm sure they would never—"

"I was sure I would never," I cut him off softly, shutting my eyes for a moment. "And look what almost happened. They need fair warning, just in case."

"Accidents happen," he whispered, sighing for the umpteenth time. "We'll meet them to the South of the meadow."

"Sounds like a decent plan," Rosalie said, nodding along with her words.

I pursed my lips, wondering what wrecking ball was going to hit us next. It was almost as if we got one thing under control just to have another thing ruin it. The Denali Coven consists of Eleazer, Carmen, Tanya, Kate and Irina—all of whom practice the same hunting habits as us. This is where our relations with them stem from but I knew that the bond we share would be no longer if any harm were to come to Bella. I didn't think, even if something were to go very wrong, that any one of them would get close enough to hurt her.

"Edward, you're proving my point right this second," Jasper mumbled wryly.

My eyes shot to his. "What?"

"Your protectiveness is going to get you in trouble," he warned, tutting.

"Jasper, stop with the—"

"Uh, guys," Emmett spoke up for the first time, his eyes locked on the computer screen in front of him. "I think we have bigger things to worry about than Edward's psycho-phase."


	15. Chapter 15

****Chapter 15****  
"Knowing"

The definition of Hell is as follows: a place regarded in various religions as a spiritual realm of evil and suffering, often traditionally depicted as a place of perpetual fire beneath the earth where the wicked are punished after death. Also known as the netherworld, or the abode of the dead, or even the abyss. I like to call it my eventual residence. I couldn't predict the future like Alice, but I knew that the end of my forever would be eternal damnation. Those of us without a soul always have _that_ to look forward to.

Bella might as well have been born smack bang in the middle of Hell, it would surely be no worse than what she'd been subjected to in this world.

"So," Emmett said, breaking the tense silence, "who gets to tell her that we know everything?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Why do you even need to ask that?"

"Edward, obviously," Rosalie said, shrugging nonchalantly.

"We should have another vote—"

"Emmett," she interrupted, flicking her platinum-blonde hair over her shoulder, "Edward's her favourite. This isn't something we can vote on. It has to be the right person."

"We'd all vote for him anyway," he argued, laughing loudly. "Sorry, man."

I scowled at him, folding my arms across my chest. My reaction only amused him further and Jasper joining in only made me more irritated. I didn't find anything about this funny, primarily because my throat was currently on fire. I was in dire need of another hunting trip. Being near a human so much who smelled that appetising was like being taunted 24/7.

Jasper's eyes met mine, and I was overcome with shame.

He was cool, calm and completely collected when he was realistically meant to be out of control with bloodlust. Instead, I was the one who was struggling. I'm sure Jasper's situation would be frighteningly different if blood was spilled at any point, but I couldn't even handle the thought of her scent.

Suddenly, it was as if _he_ knew what _I_ was thinking.

"Perhaps a hunting trip first..."

"There's no time," Alice said, looking ahead again. "It's better this is done before the Denalis arrive."

"Maybe this isn't a good idea," I mumbled, pulling anxiously at my hair.

"What are you so worried about?" Jasper asked, moving from his place beside Alice so that he was standing directly in front of me. His eyes were challenging.

"Not her, if that's what you're thinking." I frowned. "Not exactly."

"You tell me if that's what I'm thinking," he muttered, chuckling. "I'm going to throw something out there for you brother."

Before he could say anything else, Esme and Carlisle silently left the room to check what they needed to get at the grocery store. For Bella, of course. We hadn't really gotten much last time and Carlisle felt it was safe to try her with some more interesting foods. She'd been living on pretty bland stuff, like porridge and soup.

"They're going to the grocery store," I explained to my siblings, who stared after them in confusion. "They're also going to drop a hint to the cashier about us having a new resident."

"This soon?" Emmett asked, surprised.

"Let the gossip spread," I said, shrugging. "It saves us having to explain it to any brave humans who would have asked."

"Hopefully they'll just leave her alone," Rosalie muttered. "The kids in that place are the last thing Bella needs. It's better we just keep her away from them."

"We couldn't do that to her," I argued, shaking my head slowly. "Let her make friends."

"Friends," she said, scoffing. "All they'll want to do is pry."

"Nonetheless, she's going to need friends in the future, especially when..."

"...she doesn't have us," Alice finished, effectively bringing the mood down further than it already was.

"Well that was mildly depressing," Jasper said, shifting uncomfortably. "Anyway, back to the thing I was going to throw out there."

"Go ahead."

"I could say this in my head but I think everyone else already knows so I might as well just say it out loud," he said. I rolled my eyes. "When you're away from Bella, all you do is either worry about her wellbeing or you killing her."

"For good reason," I snapped.

"Sure," he allowed, sharing a glance with Emmett. "The thing is, you've actually almost stopped worrying about either of those things when you're physically in the room with her."

"That's not—"

"Edward, she distracts you so easily that you don't even realise it's happening."

"Okay," I breathed, awkwardly patting my thighs. "I'm going to go somewhere that isn't here."

"Her room?" he guessed, causing an eruption of laughter.

"Not funny." I stared them all down for a few moments. "But yes. I'm going to do what none of you cowards want to do."

"Which is?"

"What do you think? I'm going to tell her that we know."

* * *

I suppose everything with Bella involves the element of surprise to a certain extent. I should have known I would walk into her room to find something I wasn't expecting. Because she'd been bed ridden, I froze in the doorway when I realised that she wasn't in her bed. She was standing by the window, in day-clothes rather than pyjamas.

For a being who was supposed to think much quicker than the average human, the words in my head wouldn't move to my mouth.

"Hi," she said quietly, toying with the hem of her cardigan. "It's raining," she added, as if I couldn't see what she was seeing.

"As usual."

"You don't like the rain."

"I'm indifferent," I corrected softly, moving to stand at the window too. I left a large space between us, but I could still feel the heat of her body. "Shouldn't you be resting?"

"I like the rain," she whispered, ignoring my question. She carefully traced the droplets running down the glass with her index finger. "The sun reminds me of Phoenix and I prefer not to be reminded of Phoenix."

"I'm not surprised."

"What?" she asked, and I'm almost positive I detected a hint of irritation in her tone.

"Well," I said, clearing my throat habitually. "It's just that—"

"You know," she accused, turning to face me fully. This resulted in shocked laughter from my brothers and sisters. "You know what happened."

"How do you know that I know?"

She stared me down the exact same way I looked at my siblings just ten minutes ago. She didn't even waver, she kept her eyes locked on mine as if she was seeing straight through to my brain. I wasn't sure why we were having a staring contest, but I had a funny feeling she was wondering why we were prying into her business.

"Because your eyes are telling me that you know," she said, calmly turning back to face the forest. "You're looking at me the same way everyone else was after the fire."

I wondered what it must have been like for a child to try to understand all of that. Not only did she have to comprehend her house burning down, she also had to come to terms with the fact that she would never see her mom again because of it. Then there was a whirlwind of Press releases and exaggerated stories. The dad got the blame at one point, someone else was reprimanded for Arson, and then stories of heroic neighbours unfolded. I didn't believe any of it. I wanted to hear it from Bella.

"She saved me, you know," she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself. "She lowered me out of the window to someone before the fire engines had even arrived. I remember it clear as day."

"How did the fire start?"

"No one ever told me anything," she said, sighing loudly. "I just know that it started downstairs. My mom was tucking me into bed. She was doing all of these goofy voices and making me laugh and... there was this massive _bang_ from below us."

"Which meant you were trapped upstairs," I concluded.

"Yes," she mumbled, tucking her long hair behind one of her ears. "That's about all there is to it. There was nothing left of her body so we couldn't even give her a proper funeral. My... _dad_... went crazy and now here I am, barely alive."

She became progressively more and more abrupt with me the more she spoke. It wasn't like her to be so blunt. She was usually more sophisticated and gentle with her words but today was different. She was upset, or perhaps frustrated, about something.

"Bella," I murmured, saying her name in a way I never had before. Something about my tone in that single word was far too intense. "What do you need?"

She sighed, biting her lip nervously. "Please, can I come downstairs?"

"You don't need to ask our permission," I assured her softly, stepping closer again. "Of course you can come downstairs."

For the first time in a while, I assessed her slight form properly. I wasn't sure if she'd managed to dress herself, or if she'd had some help. I didn't hear anything in anyone's thoughts about her being out of bed so I was left to assume she'd decided to do that all on her own. The tan cardigan she had wrapped around her complimented her ivory skin and... I didn't even know why that thought crossed my mind.

I was too busy overthinking the fact that she was dressed nicely, I failed to notice that she was trembling. That could mean only two possible things.

"Are you cold?"

She frowned. "No."

I swallowed hard. "Are you afraid?"

She gave me a look so disbelieving that I almost convinced myself she had no reason to be afraid. "Of course not."

Then, I did something that added to the list of stupid things I'd done in her presence. In a blind, unnecessary panic, I lifted my hand to feel her forehead. Sure, I had done that once before but she wasn't conscious then. She'd just seen, just felt, my freezing hand on her warm skin. At that precise moment it didn't really matter to me that she might identify the obvious difference, because there was something very wrong with her temperature.

"You're too warm," I informed her gently, shamelessly keeping my hand on her forehead.

"Before you force me back into bed," she said quickly, "can we compromise?"

"There's no compromising when it comes to your health."

"Let me come downstairs," she said. "I need to get out of here for a while."

"Bella, what you need is rest."

"Yes, you're right. I can rest anywhere," she continued stubbornly.

"But—"

"I'll let you carry me if that's what you're worried about. I won't get up from the sofa, I'll just rest. I'll even let you all baby me if you insist," she implored, her small hand wrapping desperately around my wrist.

The main reason I caved was because she really needed to lie down and there was no way she was going to give up. The other reason I caved is because, for some godforsaken reason, I couldn't physically utter the word _no_ to her.

I rolled my eyes dramatically, gently removing her hand from around my wrist. Without another thought, I lifted her effortlessly into my arms and headed slowly for the stairs. Heat was radiating from her body alarmingly and so the second she was safely on the sofa, I would be calling Carlisle.

"By the way," she said quietly, resting her head on my shoulder. "You have really good taste in music."

I chuckled. "Do I?"

"Undoubtedly."


	16. Chapter 16

****Chapter 16****  
"Down Day"

 _You're such a pushover_ , Emmett thought, grinning wildly when I entered the room with Bella securely in my arms. _Or, is it just_ her _that has you wrapped around her little finger?  
_  
I shot him a subtle glare over my shoulder.

"Hey there!" he shouted enthusiastically, jogging forward so that he was walking with me to the sofa where I was about to set Bella down.

"Hi, Emmett," she said, so quietly that a human surely would not have heard her.

"How are you?"

"I'm absolutely f—"

"She has a fever," I interrupted, smirking when she scowled.

"Should I call dad?" Alice asked, her head snapping up from the magazine she was reading.

"I'll call him," I muttered, placing Bella down gently. She tried to sit up the second I wasn't touching her but my disapproving look had her deciding otherwise. She slowly lay down, resting her head on the arm of the sofa.

"That's unnecessary," said Bella, turning on her side so that she was facing the television.

"We compromised," I reminded her as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. "We're allowed to baby you."

"Compromising is always complicated," she breathed, eyes locked on the screen. "No one is ever _truly_ happy with a compromise."

"Without compromise," said Jasper, sitting down by Alice, "the world would be a mess."

"The world is already a mess," she whispered, suddenly making eye contact with me. "How did you find out?"

Her question was so vague that I had to think for a split second before I answered. Things like this wouldn't be so difficult if I could hear her thoughts. How frustrating it is not to know what she's thinking! I could only assume she was questioning how we discovered her past so easily, though I was sure she was well-aware of the amount of attention her situation had received in Phoenix at the time. It's unlikely that anyone here will know about it and they'd have to do a hell of a lot of research if they wanted to find anything. They'd also have to have the minimal information that Bella had given us herself, in order to be wise enough to put all the pieces together.

"We worked off of anything you told us," I told her, figuring that honesty was always the best policy. Within reason, of course. "Then, a bunch of old articles online helped us make sense of it all."

"You could have just asked me," she said, frowning deeply. I wanted to smooth out the crease it made between her brows. If I were human, perhaps I would have been brave enough to do so. I hated seeing her frown; it signified either confusion or sadness. "I would have told you the truth."

"I know that," I said, unsure of what she was getting at. She was certainly having an off day today. I wondered if it had something to do with her fever. "It was more that we didn't want to upset you, or make you feel as if you _had_ to tell us things you possibly didn't want to. It was easier just to go ahead and search for information ourselves."

She sighed, looking away from me again. Emmett and I exchanged a wary glance. He released a breath of air through his mouth, glancing at my phone, and thought, _You better call dad_.

I took his advice and dialled Carlisle's number, keeping my eyes trained on Bella. There was a small part of me that was always on edge around her, primarily because she seemed like the most vulnerable little thing in existence and I was a ferocious monster. It wasn't even just the possibility of me harming her that had me nervous, it was the thought of everything that she was susceptible to. It genuinely frightened me and I was struggling to comprehend this realisation. It was such a strong feeling of _care_...

"Everything alright?" Carlisle answered, his voice slightly muffled.

"Yes, don't panic," I assured him, seen as he'd picked up halfway through the second ring. I think at this point we were all worried that this girl would just spontaneously combust. "Bella has a bit of a fever."

"How bad?" he asked, concerned.

"She was trembling upstairs," I said, watching her squeeze her eyes shut. "She's a little flushed as well."

"Get a cold cloth and make sure she keeps it on her forehead," he demanded. "Keep re-wetting it every time it starts to dry up. Try and get her to take two Ibuprofen pills. If she can't swallow them, or if she vomits straight after, don't give her anything else. Combining the two is the only thing you can do in an attempt to cool her down until I can check her over and figure out what's going on. It's likely that she has some sort of infection. I'm hoping some antibiotics will clear up whatever it is."

"Cold cloth and pills," I mumbled. "Got it. Anything else?"

"Make sure she sips water. We definitely don't want her getting dehydrated."

"Alright."

"We'll be back as soon as possible," he assured me, hanging up before I could reply.

I shoved my phone back into my pocket, eyeing Bella's freakily still form. Even her heartbeat was slightly irregular and I was surprised to find I was the only one who'd noticed that. We could all hear it, yet not one of them had identified the change. _  
_  
"You," I said, when she finally opened her eyes. "Stay."

"I'll fetch a cloth from one of the bathrooms," Rosalie said, rising and exiting the room in one fluid movement. It wasn't a very human way to do something but it wasn't abnormal enough to cause any alarm for the human.

"I'll find Ibuprofen," I said, walking out of the room as fast as I possibly could.

It didn't take as long as I thought it would to locate the painkillers from among the medical equipment in the garage. There had to be about a hundred different medications but being what I am has its perks in situations like this, not that we encountered them often. The ability to think and move immensely quicker than other beings gives us an extensive advantage.

I headed to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water, figuring a glass wasn't the best idea with Bella's sudden shakiness. Carlisle said she should _sip_ water, which meant she shouldn't gulp it down. I decided a straw may make it all a little easier. I shouldn't have stood there pondering over the four colours to choose from as much as I did, but I decided on blue because she'd told me she likes the rain. It wasn't the exact colour, obviously, but it was close enough.  
I plucked one from the box and then shook my head, chuckling.

 _What the hell am I even doing?  
_  
I nonchalantly flipped the bottle in my hand as I walked back through to the living room, my siblings' mental voices giving me what could only be described as a headache. Their concern was sweet, in more ways than one, but it was irritating for me. However, that might potentially be because I have the same level of concern rippling through my own head never mind the addition of theirs.

"For you," I said, leaning over the back of the sofa to hand her everything I was told to.

"Thank you," she said, sitting up gingerly. I allowed it this time simply because I knew she couldn't carry out this task lying down.

She saw the straw and smiled. I was sure she knew why I'd chosen it and I didn't think further explanation was required. We shared a moment, one for only the two of us, and it pleased me more than what was acceptable.

She tried to unscrew the cap but she just couldn't. It was so odd how a human could go from having what they perceived as strength one moment, to being utterly weak the next. I'd always seen Bella as nothing more than this breakable, small human. But I frequently failed to remember all that she'd survived. The determination on her face as she refused to give up trying to get that damn cap off was exceptionally intriguing. She wants to be strong, though she has no idea what strong really is, and I found myself inspired by her.

I wordlessly, gently, took the bottle from her hands to unscrew it just a little. I left the rest for her to do herself. At this, she smiled wider, and I just had to do the same. Though I couldn't read her mind, as I'm sure you know by now, I was beginning to understand and learn bits and pieces about her.

"Before you move another muscle," I said, suddenly realising she might just be sick everywhere. She'd always struggled to swallow pills, and any time she managed she usually vomited a minute or so later. I knelt down in front of her, bucket firmly in one hand. "Ready when you are."

I watched her face carefully, catching every single movement of every single feature. My free hand was ready, waiting to move her hair out of the way. A few long moments passed and a very small part of me thought she might just have overcome this barrier but it didn't take long for the colour to drain from her face. I knew exactly what that meant and so I was prepared by the time she physically threw up.

"That went well," Jasper mumbled, mildly amused.

I didn't find it funny and so I did my best to ignore him. My main priority right now was Bella and if she couldn't take the Ibuprofen, it meant that our only hope until Carlisle's return was the cold cloth that Rosalie was standing swinging in her hand.

The vomiting was more than what I expected. I had a feeling it wasn't only her gag-reflex that had caused this; it was likely to do with whatever underlying problem she currently has as well. Nonetheless, I waited patiently, moving her hair to one side so that I could rub her back in some attempt to soothe her. She must feel incredibly awful.

Alice left the room to call Carlisle again, obviously fearing that Bella needed urgent medical attention. That could be the case, considering all that her body had sustained recently. It's so easy for things to go wrong so quickly. But I didn't want Bella to think there was anything to worry about.

"That's not right," she whispered, her voice thick with the strain of heaving. "No one should be sick because of that."

"Everything's fine," I promised, swapping Rosalie the bucket for the cloth. She left without a word to clean it out. "Take a sip of water to get rid of the taste."

"My throat is burning," she said, her eyes welling up with tears when she lifted the straw to her lips. It really wasn't like her to tell us what was wrong. It made me undoubtedly more worried.

"I know," I soothed, taking the bottle away from her and setting it on the coffee table. The irony of us even owning that furniture piece crossed my mind but it wasn't enough to distract me from the angst. "Lie down, Bella."

She didn't even object, she just lay back and let me place the cloth over her forehead. I kept my hand over the material, holding it firmly in place, so that she could lie however she wanted without it slipping off. I didn't mind at all. I would sit here and do it forever if it brought even a miniscule amount of comfort to her.

She closed her eyes again. It always drained her, being sick, and I wondered if she would be able to fall asleep feeling this way. I watched her chest rise and fall, listening to her steady breath.

"Do you know Sylvia Plath's work well?" she suddenly asked, startling us all.

I couldn't help but laugh at her random question. "I do."

"Tell me something."

I hummed thoughtfully, quickly going through numerous possible verses I could recite from memory. One came to mind that had me wondering why I could relate to it so extremely. I decided not to dwell on that query, for I wasn't sure what it would reveal.

" _If the moon smiled,_  
 _she would resemble you._  
 _You leave the same impression_  
 _of something beautiful,_  
 _but annihilating_."

 **A/N** The extract in this chapter is from Sylvia Plath's 'The Rival'


	17. Chapter 17

****Chapter 17****  
"Infection"

Bella had her eyes squeezed tightly shut, though I knew she was not asleep. Her heartbeat was far too rapid for her to be at rest. I didn't think she looked very comfortable. Her legs were curled up and I'm pretty sure she was lying on top of one of her arms. However, the sofa was very spacious, so perhaps it was simply that she preferred to lie in a somewhat awkward position.

I silently handed the cloth to Rosalie for the umpteenth time and she flitted to the kitchen to soak it in cold water. It didn't seem to be helping all that much but there wasn't anything else we could do until Carlisle returned. It had only been a short ten minutes since Alice had called him, after Bella had been sick, alerting him that her condition was getting worse.

I shook my head, resorting to using my own hands to try to cool her down. I hadn't even consciously decided to do that, I just did. The attempt was futile anyway, seen as the heat radiating out of her was starting to warm me up.

Rosalie re-entered the room, throwing the cloth into my waiting hand.

I didn't hesitate when putting it back over Bella's forehead. She flinched, the unexpected contact disturbing her, but she did not open her eyes. My free hand lingered on her bare arm, because I was suddenly overcome with the urge to comfort her somehow. I didn't want her to be frightened of whatever was causing her body so much trouble, but I wasn't exactly sure how to soothe her. I settled on caressing the inside of her wrist, hoping the fact that she wasn't on her own would be some sort of reassurance.

As a vampire, I had chosen one of the worst places on her body to concentrate on. A pulse point. I could feel the rhythm of her heart under my fingertips and I couldn't, for a few seconds, decide how exactly it was making me feel. Of course, naturally, it caused the flow of fresh venom in my mouth. It also didn't escape my notice that the warmer she was, the better she smelled. But, strangely, neither of these things were at the forefront of my mind. Instead, what I identified first, was panic. Her heart was beating too fast, I knew that. We were getting all the indications here that something was very wrong with her.

"My father will be home any time now," I promised.

Despite the agony in my own throat, and the monstrous needs that accompanied it, the only thing I was truly worried about at the moment was Bella. I would never have believed you if you had told me that I would one day be able to sit here this close to her, touching her, and actually be in some sort of control of myself. It was incomprehensible.

"You don't have to sit with me," she whispered, opening her eyes slowly, "if you have other things to do."

"Do I look like someone who has somewhere to be?"

"I'm not sure," she said, obviously assessing my worried expression. "I'm never sure what you're thinking about."

A short laugh escaped my lips before I could contain it. She had no idea how ironic her words were, and she would never know why it was funny to me. Although, a massive part of me was irked by the reminder that I would never be able to know what she was thinking. How was she _really_ coping with all of this? Was she coping at all, or just pretending?

"You don't give much away yourself," I muttered, readjusting the cloth slightly.

"I'm used to keeping secrets," she said simply, closing her eyes again.

Oh, I thought I was about to be driven insane by the curiosity coursing through me. I wanted to know all of those secrets, though they weren't any of my business—not really. I was used to always knowing, always being sure, always having something to go on. She unknowingly denied me of these things, making me feel more human than ever before. For the first time in my existence, I was unbelievably helpless. We all could offer her certain things, like Carlisle with his expertise, but it didn't feel like enough. All I could give her was my presence, knowing that my being here made her feel safer somehow. The entire thing seemed wrong, flipped on its head, and she should be terrified. However, _what is_ and _what should be_ are two very different things.  
Nonetheless, I still found myself wishing there was more I could do for her.

"They'll be home in a couple of minutes," Alice promised, reassuring me only slightly. She wasn't sure exactly why she found herself trying to put me  
specifically at ease, but she knew that I was in dire need of it.

Jasper was trying, too, I could feel it.

"That's good," I replied slowly, eyeing the two of them.

I suppose panicking truthfully wouldn't make the situation any easier. Besides, though I knew she wasn't right in herself, I had no reason to have a meltdown. In calming myself, with Jasper's aid, I became blisteringly aware that I certainly wasn't the only one struggling with composure. We all were undeniably worried about this fragile, human girl. It was then that I realised how much I truly did care for her. We had already established this unexpected fondness that had us so changed, yet I hadn't spent time mulling over it until now. It was the first time I really absorbed the fact that her being in pain, caused _me_ pain.

"You okay, man?" Jasper asked, obviously sensing some sort of distress from me.

"I'm not entirely sure," I blurted out, perplexed by this realisation.

"Why don't you give yourself a min—"

I didn't have time to fully comprehend that he had interpreted my distress in relation to her scent, for Alice's loud thoughts suddenly intruded on mine. What I saw had me releasing a sigh of dread. Of course _this_ would happen.

"Really, Alice?" I deadpanned, too quietly for Bella to hear.

"Don't blame me," she hissed defensively, holding up her hands. _I can't catch everything, Edward. I'm already too busy trying to see what lies ahead for Bella, and you, and the rest of us!  
_  
"Bella," I whispered, daring to lean in close to her face. "Some distant family members will be arriving here shortly. They weren't meant to be coming until tomorrow but they've had to change their plans."

"Okay," she breathed, frowning slightly. It seemed as though she didn't have the strength to add anything else to her reply.

I didn't have time to ponder that, for I knew that we now had even more to stress over. If the Denalis are arriving now, it means that we'll have no time to warn them about Bella. I could only hope that they had hunted already. It wasn't that I didn't trust them, they were as good at this life as we were, but I knew now from personal experience that we couldn't put too much faith in anyone. I carefully reminded myself that it was highly unlikely that her blood would appeal to another the way it appeals to me, but even Carlisle was not oblivious to her sweet scent. It made me a little bit anxious.

Bella's current state didn't exactly help the situation. I was sure whatever this illness was would result in more needles and more upset and more pain. As shy as she seemed to be, I didn't think she would appreciate an even bigger audience. However, there wasn't all that much anyone could do about it. Again, that feeling of helplessness set in.

I sighed, this time in relief, when I heard Carlisle's Mercedes roll to a stop outside. I was glad they were home before the others got here. It made more sense that our father should explain all of this seen as he was, in every way, the soul of this coven.

 _For show, please tell your brothers to come and help your mother with the bags,_ Carlisle thought, _I can tend to Bella.  
_  
"I think I heard a car," I said, layering my words with doubt just in case Bella was paying close enough attention. "Dad will want to see to Bella. Can you two help mom?" I asked, glancing briefly at them both.

They left without a word.

Having my father here again certainly eased a great deal of my anxiety, more so than Jasper's ability could. I informed Carlisle quietly that Alice had seen the Denali family arriving this evening and he nodded curtly, refusing to let even this distract him. He decided simply to accept what was, there was no point in questioning it.

"Fever," he mumbled, reiterating what I had already been able to tell him. "Rapid heartbeat. Sickness. I wonder if..."

He let the sentence hang, his thoughts almost incoherent as he ran through a list of possible issues. It seemed, as he hesitantly lifted her shirt, that he was seeking another symptom. I hadn't thought to check her for any sort of rash and, if I had, I possibly would have been able to reach the worrisome conclusion I was sure he was heading towards.

There it was. A strange-looking rash, spread over her stomach.

"Is that what I think it is?" I asked, eyes widening in alarm.

"If you're thinking it's Sepsis, then yes," he muttered, feeling her pulse habitually.

"Will the catastrophes ever end?" I whined, surprising myself with the almost child-like tone my voice seemed to take on. I blamed it on the frustration.

"Don't worry, we've caught it early," he said, nodding to himself. "I have the antibiotics to start treating it but... we'll have to keep a close eye on her. I'm sure you remember that this sort of complication can get very bad, very quickly."

"Yes, I know."

"Alice said on the phone that she was sick when she tried to take the pills you offered," he said, checking her legs for any sign of the rash he'd found on her stomach. "Any blood?"

I shook my head, no. Thank goodness for that.

"It's just bile, constantly," I muttered, realising the cloth on her forehead was starting to dry up again. I didn't have the force necessary to pull myself away from her to wet it myself, so I silently threw it at Rosalie again.

"I suppose that's a blessing," he said, pursing his lips thoughtfully. He hadn't said enough that would alarm Bella. If she'd been vomiting blood, it would have been a worry whether I was a vampire or not. "Keep doing what you're doing with the wet cloth. I'll fetch what I need from the garage. It suddenly feels like we're back to stage one."

"But she'll be fine," I said, our eyes connecting briefly. "Won't she?"

"Hopefully." He pat my shoulder as he stood. "With you nearby, I don't think we'll miss anything."

I glared at his retreating form, though I could see why he was mildly amused and he definitely wasn't the only one. When had I become so completely obsessed? Through the burning self-hatred, I could understand where they managed to find the debris of humour, and I chuckled quietly. I had always been trying to protect this human from me, but suddenly I was trying to protect her from everything else as well.

"Edward?" Jasper questioned, entering the room again, though I barely heard him.

I stared at Bella's unmoving face, willing all of this to be over soon. For her sake.

"Edward," Jasper snapped, irked, and he had my attention at once.

"What?"

"I feel things," he said, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"I hear things," I replied, feigning nonchalance.

"I see things," Alice chimed, laughing manically. I glanced at her, silently asking if she was feeling alright. "I'm wonderful."

I rolled my eyes, hoping the wet cloth Rosalie had all but launched back at me would offer Bella some sort of relief from this absolute nightmare.

The familiar thoughts of the Denali coven moved suddenly into my hearing range. They had caught Bella's scent in the area but as I'd hoped, they had hunted recently. They were merely curious, wondering what the hell they were about to walk into.

 _Brace yourself_ , Alice thought wryly.

I wasn't sure if it was a passing thought aimed at our Alaskan _relatives_ , or whether it was a warning aimed directly at me.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Don't worry, there is a new chapter below this! I haven't abandoned the wonderful world of 'Finding Bella.' I just want to thank you all before I share it with you. You have no idea how lovely it was to read all of your supportive comments. I had no idea there were so many of you and I appreciate you taking the time to let me know you're there and you're enjoying this/any other of my stories. I know that people aren't always going to like what I write - that is totally understandable and completely acceptable. However, negativity is not welcomed here. It's not welcomed anywhere, actually, so please keep it to yourself.

Now, enough of the heavy. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm sending love to you wherever you are in the world.

 **Chapter 18**  
"The Denali Coven"

 _Arrange whatever pieces come your way._  
Virginia Woolf

Our home was once a place where no trouble presented itself. We never had any worries in this place. It was almost as if nothing could get to us in here, not even the reality of what we are. I knew, however, that Bella had permanently changed that.

 _Edward_ , my father thought, as he gathered what was required to treat her. _Take Bella back upstairs to rest. I'll follow you up and give her what she needs. I think it would be best for us to converse with the Denali family out of her earshot.  
_  
I sighed, reaching forward to lift Bella gently from her place. She didn't protest. I was thankful for that because I truly wasn't too fond of the idea of forcing her to do something she didn't want to do. But, as I'd told her earlier, there is no compromising when it comes to her health.

When she rested her head on my shoulder, her forehead made contact with my neck. I was overwhelmed yet again by the warm sensation. Through illness or otherwise, preferably otherwise, the heat of her skin would always feel somewhat pleasant against mine. It was then that I realised she had never once flinched from the coldness of my touch, even after she had confessed her distaste for anything cold or wet. Had she not noticed? As clever as she is, it didn't seem at all likely that she wouldn't have. Perhaps she had put it down to her own body temperature being out of sorts in the time that she'd known of us. If even a human hand came near her, it would seem rather cool.

The Denalis were less than a minute away now by the sound of it and it was unbelievably frustrating to have to move at human speed. As Carlisle had promised, he was close behind me whilst I ascended the stairs. I felt so completely reassured by him being here because I knew that, no matter how extensive my medical knowledge may be, I would not be able to make a decision on how best to help Bella. I would be, and am, too panic-stricken. As I said before, it's all fun in theory, but when it comes to practice, I'm almost incapable.

"Bella," Carlisle said as we moved, perhaps only just loud enough for her human ears to pick up. "I don't want you worrying, okay? All we're going to do now is re-insert that IV drip to get some medicine and fluids in you."

She nodded, squeezing her eyes tightly shut.

"What's wrong?" I asked her softly.

"I'm just a little dizzy."

I frowned, trying my hardest not to jostle her too much the rest of the way up the stairs. It was difficult, given that her human body was not made for stillness like mine. She clutched a fistful of my shirt in one of her small hands, reminding me that she was probably frightened— even though it would be unlike her to admit it.

We reached her room just in time for me to hear my mother opening the front door to greet our visitors. Their thoughts were loud, all five of them internally expressing some degree of angst over the human scent. They had initially wrongly assumed why such a scent would linger anywhere here: our hunting habits had changed. Of course, the second they saw Esme's eyes, they were instantly regretful for entertaining thoughts like that.

"How lovely to have you here," I heard Esme greet, her calmness relaxing me slightly.

"It's pleasant to be in your company again," Eleazar said. His smile was strained and it was impossible to be unaware of the elephant in the room. "We must apologise for our hasty change of plans. It was all..."

I tried my best to ignore their small talk whilst I set Bella gently back in her bed. I reminded myself that the biggest concern was her health, not whatever the Denalis would think. At least, that was _my_ biggest concern.

If we could avoid having to introduce them to her it would make everything a whole lot easier. Something about their early curiosity had me thinking that was something we wouldn't be able to do. Surely Bella will already have noticed the odd resemblance we Cullens share — odd because my siblings and I were all supposedly adopted. She wouldn't miss that the Denalis also have skin whiter than white, eyes a more unique colour than most have seen, and a beauty unnatural in this world.

Funnily enough, the threat of exposure didn't worry me all that much nowadays.

First of all, who exactly is this human going to expose us to? Secondly, isn't _her_ life more valuable than ours? She is still alive, still human. She, in her goodness and purity, will always be more worthy than all of my kind combined.

No, exposure did not frighten me anymore, but that doesn't mean I want her to know about us. The last thing I ever want is for her to be frightened of me. She has always trusted me, since the very first moment she discovered my name, and I did not want to betray that trust. It was one of the many reasons I fought so hard against the monster urging me to kill her.

"Edward, you should see to our guests," Carlisle suggested, setting up the drip to the left of her bed yet again. _You must lay the foundations whilst I get Bella comfortable. It won't take me long. Tell them who she is and why she is here, that's all. If they have anything else to say, tell them that I'll be down momentarily to speak with them. Just... Keep the calm.  
_  
I nodded, knowing that I had to do what he thought was best. Judging by the anxious expression on Bella's face I was sure that, no matter how much she told me I didn't have to stay by her, she didn't want me to leave.

"I'll be back shortly," I promised, gently moving some strands of hair that had fallen over her eyes. "I'll read you another story, if you want."

"I would like that," she whispered, a small smile pulling at her lips.

How she could possibly find it in her to smile was beyond my comprehension. It left me reeling as I exited the room.

* * *

There wasn't much I could remember about my biological mother. Her face was a clouded image in my mind due to my transformation. Certain things, like the sound of her voice, are still fairly easy for me to pluck out of my memory. From the very little I could recall, and from what I know of mothers in general, I'm pretty sure I know what she would be telling me right now: be careful.

"What do you mean by that?" I demanded, folding my arms tightly across my chest.

"Is a human really worth all the hassle? The _danger_?" Irina explained, though I had already known exactly what she meant by her loud thought, _what a waste of time.  
_  
"Yes," I replied curtly.

She snickered, only irritating me further.

All they knew now was the extent of Bella's injuries, along with how she actually ended up in our care. I did not feel like taking on the responsibility of telling them what our future plans were. We hadn't even consulted Bella on those yet.

"Irina, don't be rude," Eleazar said, frowning. If Carlisle was the soul of our coven, Eleazar was the soul of theirs. "I'm sure Carlisle will explain all. What exactly is he doing up there?"

"There has been a bit of a complication in Bella's healing," Jasper informed them softly.

"Is she alright?" Carmen wondered, her heart almost as gentle as Esme's.

"She has an infection in her blood. Carlisle thinks it may have been caused by a UTI. Her body... just isn't working all that good right now," I explained, smiling at her mild concern.

"That sounds awful," she said, a response she thought was fitting. I suppose it was as good as anything she could have come out with.

 _I wonder why he's standing like that_ , Tanya thought, analysing every single inch of my tall form. I met her glance briefly, thinking she would look away upon realising I was listening to her, but she kept staring. It wasn't the lustful gaze I was used to from her, it was worse. She was exceptionally suspicious.

"It is," I replied, eyeing Irina when an unwelcomed thought consumed her mind and then my own.

A very unexpected snarl ripped through me, startling everyone in the room. Irina's eyes widened, for she had just registered my enraged glare and comprehended that it was directed entirely at her.

"If you go anywhere near her-"

 _Edward, let's trade_ , Carlisle thought loudly, interrupting me before I could say something I would probably regret.

"Excuse me," I muttered politely, leaving the room swiftly.

None of their thoughts were offering much information. I kept listening as I entered Bella's room, trying to pick apart the whirlwinds in all of their heads. My reaction had bothered them all, so much so that Eleazar considered suggesting that they leave. Tanya had correctly realised that my posture was in response to Irina's inappropriate line of questioning; but she thought there was more to it. I had initially intended to stand that way to assert authority but her internal conclusion had me realising the true reason I'd done it, and also why Irina's thoughts regarding Bella's scent had me so triggered. I was absolutely, pathetically, terrified of the possibility that someone might hurt her. That fact extends beyond this current situation. My fear evoked anger which certainly explains my knee-jerk response. I instinctively needed them to know that, whilst I was here, nothing was going to hurt Bella.

I suddenly realised that when Carlisle had told me to keep the calm, he was actually referring to _my_ composure rather than theirs.

* * *

 _"...Together, they stood on the shore, and watched the flames destroy their forest home._

 _Spring had come again, and green leaves and grass and flowers covered the scars left by the fire._

 _Again, news went through the forest. 'Come along, come to the thicket.'_

 _At the thicket, the squirrels and rabbits and birds were peering through the undergrowth at Faline, and two spotted Fawns._

 _And not far away was Bambi, the proud father, and the new great Prince of the Forest."_

I carefully shut Felix Salten's creation, glancing up to make sure Bella was well and truly asleep before I set it on the table beside her. It hadn't taken long for me to read the full story, yet I felt as if I'd been in the room with her for hours. My throat was on fire, yes, but I truly didn't pay attention to it any more than usual. I was just relieved that she was here and safe and somewhat okay.

Tanya's entrance didn't startle me. I had heard her coming and I had listened closely to make sure there was nothing malicious going on in her head. She wasn't a horrible being, though she certainly was talented in the art of manipulation. Her tricks never worked on me, however, given my ability. We had always clashed, for I could not reciprocate any feelings she had(s) for me. It wasn't my intention to hurt her pride, though that was certainly what had happened, and she made me feel guilty about it any time we were in one another's presence. Even though she knew, deep down inside, that there was no chance whatsoever, she still hoped.

"I remember when that was written," she said, her tone surprisingly soft.

"As do I."

"Why the kid story?" she wondered, glancing over my shoulder to look at Bella for the first time. She was careful with her thoughts. I assumed she wasn't fond of the idea of receiving a hostile response like Irina. However, I was good at picking up the tone of one's mind, and she wasn't very impressed.

"She has never had the pleasure of reading any before," I explained curtly, turning so that I was facing Bella fully. "It helps her sleep."

"I imagine she doesn't sleep soundly," Tanya said and, though her thoughts revealed nothing of her true intentions, I could tell she was fishing for something she wanted to know.

"She often doesn't," I said, frowning when Bella fidgeted—as if on cue. "She is either restless or wakes up crying."

"Kind of like a child," she muttered and then backtracked instantly. "I didn't mean that in a patronising way. I just meant that she is..."

"Vulnerable," I finished, sighing quietly. " _That_ I know."

Bella fidgeted again and this time, I couldn't just frown and continue the conversation. I didn't want her to wake up and have to deal with yet another stranger or further confusion. She also _needed_ the rest. So, again, in a hopeless attempt at comforting her in her unconscious state, I let my cold fingers linger on her bare arm. Perhaps she would be able to sense that I was there; that she wasn't alone, and that whatever had her frightened couldn't _really_ hurt her.

 _How can you touch her when you want her blood so badly?_

I grumbled, not appreciating the reminder. "Tanya, must we talk about that?"

"I'll think. You talk," she joked, trying to lighten the mood. My blank expression discouraged her only slightly before she continued, _I mean, isn't that just inviting temptation?_

"I couldn't even think about her at first," I whispered, that recurring feeling of shame bursting my heart. "I was going to leave, I truly was, but I forced myself to come back home. For her."

She hummed thoughtfully. "Why?"

I sighed, trying to convey my exasperation. She only smiled in response. "Because she needed me to come back home."

"You know what I think?" she asked, her gaze suddenly burning into mine.

"Actually, I don't," I muttered but she wasn't cracking. She kept repeating lines of the story I had just read to Bella in her head. The only way I could know what she was honestly thinking was when the words left her mouth.

"I think you came back home because _you_ needed to." She snickered. "Alice and I had a little chat whilst you were lost in the world of Bambi. She filled me in on some _minor_ details."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, Edward," she whispered, sighing. "I don't know you all that well, yet I feel I know something of you that even you don't know."

"Stop talking in riddles," I snapped, returning my eyes to Bella's face. Keep the calm.

"In fact, I think a few people around here know something of you that even you don't know."

"Their thoughts tell me otherwise."

"What we think and what we say are two very different things," she chastised. "You care about her."

"We all do."

"No, that's not what I meant," she said, seemingly reluctant to say what she was trying to get at.

"Say what you mean, then."

"You," she said, staring into my eyes so intently that I swear she could see my soul, "love her."

The entire house was reduced to dead silence.

Now, even if I could have unpacked her thoughts in that second, I would have been unprepared for the words. It was like a jolt of electricity had just shot around my entire body. For the first time in this second-life of mine, my own thoughts turned utterly incoherent. I couldn't even find it in me to read Tanya's thoughts to assess the look on my face, though I knew it was likely one of horror.

 _I had to make sure; that's why I came up here._

"Tanya..."

 _I know I'm definitely right because your first instinct wasn't to deny it. Your first instinct was to be terrified because you know the dangers._

"That's not... what..." I couldn't even speak.

She shook her head. _Edward, you've never looked at me the way you look at her._

"We're going to go home," she said quietly, moving into the hallway. "Our timing could not have been worse."

She was gone. They were all gone. And I felt like I was gone, too.


	19. Chapter 19

****Chapter 19****  
"Bewitched" 

_You have bewitched me_  
 _Body and soul_  
 _and I love_  
 _I love_  
 _I love you._  
Jane Austen

* * *

One would think that over a hundred years of existence would allow some time for falling in love. But it hadn't. Not for me, at least. There was never anyone I wanted, never anyone I needed, and a new possibility had just been thrown directly in front of me.

My stomach churned as I looked at her.

I scarcely heard Emmett mutter, "Here comes the denial."

Surely there was no way that I was in love with this fragile little human. It didn't seem possible, given the circumstances, for something like this to develop. I hadn't thought of her in that way. Of course I'd noticed her beauty and her lovely nature, it was difficult not to, but I had never for a second mulled over having _those_ feelings for her.

"It won't last," Alice promised him, my eyes widening as I tried to process it all. Their thoughts weren't incoherent which set alarm bells off in my head; they had all been thinking it already.

It would admittedly explain a lot of things I had been experiencing over the course of my time with her. The protectiveness, the concern, the urges to touch her that had nothing to do with the scent of her blood... and yet _that_ _issue_ added complexity to the situation on a whole other level. I hadn't before recognised the distinction. I'd always thought my wanting to touch her skin had a lot to do with the pulsing blood beneath it. I began to wonder if that desire had another branch to it; one that has me doing it simply because I like the way it feels.

I stepped back from her bed, a surge of self-loathing coursing through me.

Had Tanya spoken a truth that I myself had not known? If so-if it is true that I've fallen in love with this girl-the likelihood of me staying in Forks was no longer there. I couldn't do that to her. I _wouldn't_ put her in danger. The risk to her life because of all kinds of foolish desires was so great that I wanted to disappear. I wanted to take myself out of existence-for her sake.

And to think I had been trying to care for her all this time, trying to _protect_ her, only to put her in even more danger. I wanted to laugh because I was so disgusted with myself for what I might have unleashed here.

 _Edward_ , Jasper thought, and I could feel his sympathy as if I shared his gift. _Allow yourself to consider it for a moment.  
_  
I looked at her again, forcing myself to think only of the idea of loving her.

And I was floored.

For a being who was meant to see better than any other, it dawned on me all of a sudden that I have been undeniably, stupidly blind through all of this. Watching her, lying there sound asleep, looking the epitome of perfection in all her purity and brightness, I _knew_.

"Oh god," I whispered, realising entirely what this meant.

If I could have crashed through the window without terrifying her, I would have. Instead, I froze where I was, unable to tear my eyes away from her still form. How could I have let this happen? I should have left when we found her; I should have known this would only end in some type of disaster.

At the very least, if I didn't know, Alice should have.

"Alice, why didn't you see this happening? Why didn't you warn me?" I snapped, as quietly as I could possibly manage.

"In case you haven't noticed, Edward," she hissed, much louder than she had to, "I've been missing a lot of things recently. Something weird is going on."

Jasper laughed loudly. "A lot of weird is going on."

Emmett chuckled. "We actually did warn you about the attachment thing."

I felt the calm composure I had constructed purely for being in Bella's presence begin to crack. In that moment, I felt more of a monster than I ever had before. Wanting her blood was one thing but wanting _her_ was something else entirely.

Just as I had set my mind, body, and soul on fleeing the room, she was upright in bed-a heartbreakingly terrified cry escaping her lips. And every thought of leaving her for even a second abandoned ship.

I was at her side in an instant, reaching for her in a way I never had.

Instinctively, my arms were around her.

She tried to break free from my grasp, obviously not realising it was me, and I was so shocked by my own behaviour that I almost let her push me away. But the sound of her cry, combined with the fear on her face, held me in place. She needed me. It was the only thing keeping me grounded.

"It's okay," I whispered, trying to reassure us both. "It's only me. You're okay."

She relaxed slightly but her breaths were shallow and uneven. Something in her silent mind was frightening her and I wished I could know what it was. With all of my strength I pushed my overwhelming emotions to the side, for nothing mattered more in this second than making sure she was alright.

"Funnily enough," I said, forcing out a guffaw that had me sounding like I was choking. "I was just about to walk out of the room. You have excellent timing."

In her state, she released a slightly hysterical laugh.

The position I'd pulled her into couldn't have been comfortable for her. I hadn't much thought about that when I grabbed her. I tried to readjust us and, realising what I was doing, she moved too. It seemed that she wasn't ready for me to let go of her, nor was I willing. I apparently needed her just as much as she needed me right now.

 _What have I become?  
_  
I nearly asked the question out loud but figured it probably wasn't wise. However, I would have very much enjoyed listening to myself trying to get out of that one.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I offered, trying to act casual. She had no idea how much I wanted her to tell me what nightmare her mind had conjured up.

She shook her head. "Not really."

I squeezed her gently, letting her scent assault me. "Okay."

"Thank you," she whispered, turning her face into my chest. I wasn't sure what had made her do it but if anything, I had to assume she was embarrassed by something. That seemed like the only reason someone would hide their face.

"How are you feeling?"

"A bit better, I think," she said, her voice muffled by my shirt. "I don't feel as shaky."

"Yes, I don't think you're as warm as you were a little while ago," I assured her, comforted by this fact myself. "It will take a good few days for you to get over it but it was caught early."

"It could have been much worse, couldn't it?"

"You scared us all for a minute there, I'll admit, but my father has promised you'll be perfectly fine. He said it's a common complication."

"Common," she muttered, still struggling to catch her breath. "Why were you in here?"

"I was just checking on you," I said, the lie coming without difficulty. She really didn't have to know everything that had gone on in this room in the last hour. "You seemed restless."

She finally looked up from my chest, our faces a little close for comfort. I was too afraid to move, however, for fear any suddenness would result in a bloodbath. That would perhaps be the only thing that could make this day more tragic for us.

"Even the fairytales can't keep the nightmares away," she whispered, her brown eyes full of so much emotion that it took my breath away. "Do you think there's something wrong with me? You know, inside my head."

Oh, the irony.

"Not that I would know," I said, mildly amused, "but I would be inclined to say that there's nothing _wrong_ with you at all. You're only human, Bella. You've faced more in seventeen years than most people face in a lifetime."

"I just want everything to be... ordinary." She frowned, resting her head just below my clenched jaw.

"Ordinary is boring," I whispered, speaking the truth for once.

"Perhaps that's the wrong word. I think what I really want is something predictable."

"It would be a pleasant, temporary change," I muttered, throwing as much sarcasm as I could into my words-for Alice's benefit.

"Temporary?"

"I think the future would be a tedious thing if we knew of all that was going to happen," I said, smiling softly when her curious eyes briefly met mine again. "We could take us meeting as an example. It has all been rather _extra_ ordinary."

She laughed quietly, seeming more at ease, and said, "I suppose that is true," before she finally settled comfortably into my embrace.

"Try to sleep," I soothed. "You're safe with me."

I sighed into her hair, letting all of these new and unexplored feelings flood through my undead body. Though I knew I was a _vampire_ destined for damnation, I had never in my existence felt more human-more alive. It really is an extraordinary thing to go from feeling nothing at all, to feeling all that there is.


	20. Chapter 20

AN : It's been a while, I know! I have been posting regular updates on Wattpad surrounding University life and exams etc which all explain exactly why my updates are so non-existent at the moment. Nonetheless, just to let you all know my first teaching placement (AHHHHHH) begins on April 16th so I'm going to be mega busy preparing for that over the next couple of weeks and then actually getting through it. Then, thankfully, I've got three months of holidays to enjoy and to fill with plenty of writing. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 20  
** "Familiar Scent"

 _I need solitude.  
I need space.  
I need air.  
I need the empty fields round me; and my legs pounding along roads; and sleep; and animal existence._  
Virginia Woolf

* * *

Armageddon could be happening outside and it would not be as daunting as what had been uncovered within these walls. We could do no more about this revelation than we could if the world were at war, and there was nothing more horrifying than that.

Perhaps I could somehow accept the existence of my feelings for the girl upstairs but I would never be able to justify them. Nor would they ever leave the confinements of my dead heart. That's what makes this so entirely overwhelming. This change, this _revelation_ , would always be. Now and forever, she will be everything.

"I would laugh," Emmett said, sitting across from me at the dining table, "but I reckon you'd probably tear my throat out."

"If you find the fact that my existence is falling apart in any way funny, perhaps that's what you deserve."

"Woah," he muttered, raising his eyebrows in surprise. "Very melodramatic."

"Do you even realise what this means?" I snapped, clenching my hands into fists on the glass table top. "Can you just try to comprehend the wrongness of this? The _danger_?"

"Oh, I think we all understand how dangerous it is," he said, chuckling darkly. "But to say that it's wrong is a bit of a stretch, don't you think? There's nothing wrong with being in love."

I cringed, shaking my head. "Don't."

"Not saying it doesn't make it go away."

"I know." I looked up from my stone-cold hands, seeking some sort of reassurance in his golden eyes. "But whether it is spoken or not, it's still not right."

"I see what you're getting at," he said, pursing his lips thoughtfully. "However, you've been nothing but right for Bella this whole time. Somehow, in this fucked up mess, I think you're the best thing that could have happened to her."

"Try the worst," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. I felt as though I was in pain; the sort of pain that tears you open from the inside out.

"You know that isn't true," he argued, leaning over to shove my shoulder. "The worst thing that could have happened to her is still out there somewhere, walking around thinking he left his daughter for dead."

"I don't think I've ever hated another being as much as I hate _him_ ," I whispered, shaking my head solemnly. "Even before all of these feelings got involved, I wanted to ruin him."

"Me too, man," he muttered, chuckling dryly. "I suppose, however, that slaughtering him would make us no better than him. Besides, how the hell would we even know who we were looking for? You not being able to get an image from Bella's mind sort of complicates the situation."

"Don't remind me. I'd have went looking for him the day we found her if I'd known what to look for."

"You are looking lovely and bright today, Bella," my mom's voice chimed from Bella's room, where the girls were playing chess in her company. Bella hadn't wanted to join in the game, voicing again that Alice let her win last time, and so she was more than happy just to watch them.

"Thank you," she mumbled, her cheeks heating up when all of them turned to look at her in light of my mother's compliment. "I _feel_ brighter today, I haven't felt this good for a while."

It was true. When I'd seen her in Carlisle's mind this morning after he checked in on her, I noted that she looked much healthier than she had before. I'm sure I mentioned before the strangeness of a human going from weakness to strength and vice versa on more than one occasion. Carlisle had told us that this was common; it can happen in the blink of an eye. With Bella, we should be more than prepared for the unexpected. All she'd done was surprise us since she came into our existence.

"Are you going to tell her?" Emmett asked, his tone conveying he was trying to be subtle.

My eyes were on his the very second he finished the question. "Are you insane?"

"What?"

"Jesus, Emmett," I snapped, laughing because the idea was so beyond ridiculous. "There are so many reasons she can't know."

"Name one," he challenged, childish as ever.

"I'll name four off the bat. First, in case you've forgotten, she's _supposed_ to be my prey. Second, she is most desirable to the side of me that craves her blood. Next, this happened pretty damn quickly and completely out of nowhere so, if you want me to horrify her, I'll go right ahead and do that. Last but certainly not least, my unbeating heart would shatter on the realisation that she cannot and will never feel the same."

I was overwhelmed by the fury I felt and the pain and the frustration.

Before he could respond, not that he even knew what to say, I was out of the house.

* * *

There is nothing on the planet quite like the peacefulness of the forest. I hadn't revelled in it since before we'd found Bella there because all that had happened to her in its confinements had me avoiding the place where possible. However, reassured by her improvements, I now felt the sense of calm washing over me as I moved.

I'd fought the temptation that had been dragging me in the direction of my meadow; surely no good would come of returning there. It was where everything had almost ended for Bella, and where everything definitely began for me. One month. Is that all it takes?

"You've lost your mind," I muttered, the insult aimed solely at myself.

Bella's scent had been washed away completely by the never-ending rainfall but I remembered every step we'd taken that day as if it had happened only moments ago; no reminder was required.

Despite the fact that the sun was peeking through the clouds today, there wasn't a thing that could make the meadow beautiful to me again. I knew that even before I'd moved through the treeline to see it for the first time in a month.

Nothing had changed.

Yet, _everything_ had changed.

I stepped forward. My skin shone in sync with the sun, almost as if thousands of crystals were embedded under each layer. It was pretty in one way but it also sign-posted that I was something other; something dangerous. It was one of the many things that we had to keep hidden from humans. I sighed, remembering when sunlight had crept into Bella's room one day and we'd had to close the curtains to protect ourselves from her vulnerable, clever self.

I froze, midway through another step.

A familiar scent, for every negative reason I could possibly think of, suddenly invaded my senses. It was strong and disgusting and unnerving, all of which signified only one thing. I nearly uprooted the tree behind me in fury, trying to get my wit together.

What could this mean? Why the hell had one of _them_ been _here_?

I ran the perimeter of the meadow, searching for any sort of clue as to why one of them would have been on our land. The timing was random but the scent was really fresh which told me I probably missed them by about an hour. It wasn't even as if I knew exactly whose scent it was but I did know exactly _what_ it was that had been here, hence why it was so familiar.

I circled the place three times, triple-checking every single yard of the large space, but it was totally useless. There was nothing here, just as there had been when we found Bella. I wasn't sure what I was expecting to find but something to ease my nerves would have been pleasant. I didn't like the closeness they'd gotten to home, specifically Bella, and I was spooked by the threat that it posed.

I growled in frustration, taking off before I could attract any attention from our unwelcome visitor. Not that my being here should have bothered anyone, it never had before. I just didn't feel like killing anyone today as a result of overbearingly territorial behaviour. I knew that's what it would lead to, despite the disappointment it would evoke from my father. I knew now, blisteringly so, that I'd kill anyone who even looked at Bella the wrong way.

What a mess I've become.

I was home in minutes, travelling quicker than I thought was possible. Even now, after a century, I still surprise myself with my ability. As arrogant as it sounds. I felt warmth flood through me when I reached home, a sensation that only began to occur when Bella came into our existence. It was like a sigh of relief.

In my haste to tell my family what I'd discovered, I just about took the front door off its hinges. I nearly imploded on the spot when the first thing I was met with was Bella's brown, unwavering eyes. I must have looked erratic and so instantly, within the same second her eyes greeted mine, I rearranged my facial features.

My mother's internal alarm was the next thing that had my attention and so I threw her a smile to reassure her that there was no immediate cause for concern. She relaxed at that and I returned my gaze to Bella's slight form. She was lying against my mom's side, immersed in something on the TV. I briefly glanced at the screen to see that _Bonnie and Clyde_ were gracing the house this afternoon.

"Did you have a nice walk?" my mom asked, gently stroking one of Bella's arms.

"I did," I confirmed, my smile faltering only slightly. "The sun even made herself known."

"How lovely," she mumbled, frowning at my expression. "I think your father wanted your help with something." _Go and fill him in on whatever is bothering you_ , she added.

"I'll go see what's up," I said, trying my hardest not to linger there longer than necessary. I wanted to stay in the room with her, knowing that she was beginning to feel more herself, but the most important thing right now was making sure no further harm would come her way.

I found Carlisle easily of course and the others were with him.

"I went back to the meadow," I blurted out, the very second I flew through the door.

"Are you trying to torture yourself?" Jasper asked, scoffing loudly. "What the hell even made you do that?"

"The _why_ is not important right now," I snapped, not appreciating his jibe. "What I came across is another thing entirely."

"What is it, Edward?" Carlisle asked, his golden eyes trying to unpack my thoughts as though he were the mind reader between us. "What happened?"

"I picked up a scent all over the area," I muttered.

"Someone we know?"

"Perhaps," I said, shrugging. "I didn't recognise it entirely."

"But it _was_ familiar. Our kind?"

"No," I whispered, shaking my head. "Werewolf."

"Aw of course," Emmett said, guffawing loudly. "Of damn well course a werewolf would show up in the area when Bella is here."

"It was very concentrated in the meadow," I explained, my eyebrows pulling together. "It was almost as if... as if it was looking for something."

"Whatever it was looking for, it shouldn't have been on our land. It's certainly a threat, Edward."

"I know that. I just... It horrifies me, the thought of one of those things being anywhere near Bella, but to have it sniffing around in the meadow... I think it's _too_ coincidental. What if it was looking for _her_?"

His eyebrows furrowed and he released a deep sigh. "It's possible."

"Well, we can't exactly ask Bella if she knows any werewolves. I think we'd sound a bit insane," Rosalie remarked, laughing softly. "Besides, don't you think it's highly unlikely?"

"I don't think anyone was planning on it." I rolled my eyes. "And no, I don't think it's highly unlikely. There's something that's making me think it's actually highly _likely_ she does know some werewolves; whether she actually knows it or not."

"My visions," Alice said, finally catching on. "That's why I've been missing things!"

"Exactly," I said, grinning at the fact we were almost always on the same page. "Alice's visions started going a little crazy when Bella showed up and yeah, I did consider the mental block she has against me was causing Alice's blindness. However, when I try to read her thoughts, I literally rebound off of some sort of... barrier. Alice is still seeing _some_ things."

"So it's not Bella," she concluded, practically bouncing on the spot. "I've always had problems any time a wolf came into the picture. Remember when they first showed up in Forks? I couldn't see past them. I can't believe we didn't think of this sooner!"

"That means, in our experience, there's only one possible reason for you struggling to see certain things surrounding Bella," I said, my entire being filling with absolute dread. "Her life is somehow intertwined with the wolves."

"Holy shit," Emmett muttered, a whoosh of air leaving his lungs.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N** Hey! Sorry it took so long, I've just finished up Uni for the summer! This is a bombshell chapter so I hope you enjoy it. I'm thankful for the support this story in particular has received. Keep in mind, not everything about Bella's situation is going to be revealed in this chapter so it still might feel as though you don't have the full picture... patience is of the essence ;)

 **Chapter 21**  
"Three Worlds Combined"

Day after day, the catastrophes kept coming. I think we all assumed it couldn't get worse than attempted murder at the hands of your own father, but we were far wrong.

"What does this mean?" Rosalie asked, taking her place by Emmett's side.

They all seemed to do that naturally in the middle of a crisis; move towards their significant other. I almost laughed when I felt the need to sit by Bella, despite the fact that she was not mine in the way that they all were each other's. Nonetheless, I knew that her presence would relax me. I would be safe in the knowledge that unleashing rage would only frighten her.

"If her father is involved with them, the treaty is void," said Jasper, speaking up for the first time in a while. "They say they exist to _protect_ humans, ironically from us. If they're in any way responsible for this..."

"Let's not be hasty," Carlisle said, his composure fully intact.

"Hasty?" I questioned, throwing my hands up in frustration. "Carlisle, the only thing that would be more dangerous than this is if the Volturi were sniffing around."

"We don't want to jeopardise what we have with the wolves. There is enough tension as it is. If we start throwing accusations around, it's going to make everything worse."

I understood where he was coming from, of course I did, but that didn't stop me from wanting to confront them instantly. Carlisle's calm composure was admirable but it didn't serve him well at times like this, not in my mind. Sometimes anger is a good thing.

"Why don't we just..." Rosalie shrugged, almost hesitant to finish the sentence. I knew where it was going without having to read her thoughts, "ask Bella if she knows anything about La Push?"

"That's a terrible idea," I snapped, shooting her a fierce glare. "If we go down that road, we're at risk of her finding out about _us_."

"Fair," she said, pursing her lips. "But if she knows about the wolves, there's a great chance she already knows about our kind. You said she's smarter than the average human, right?"

"Incredibly," I muttered, recalling each and every time that thought had passed through my head.

I had to take a moment to mull over everything we knew so far about Bella, in terms of her life rather than what I knew of her personally. We know that at least part of her life was spent in Phoenix, her mother saved her life, her father tried to kill her, and for some very strange reason it appears there are wolves somewhere in the picture. There are multiple things this could mean. Firstly, the wolves and her father could be linked and they may have been returning in search of a body. If this is the case Bella is in more danger than ever, for they now know she isn't dead. Another option is that the wolves and her father have no link whatsoever, and they were simply curious about the accumulation of our scents around that area. We'd avoided the meadow, until today, but that didn't mean we weren't keeping an eye on the area. Furthermore, the meadow is rather close to the treaty line.

"Edward, your face is doing that Einstein thing," Emmett said, laughing loudly.

"What?" I asked, trying not to smile in response to his weird comment.

"When you're so deep in thought that you're in another dimension, your face shows it."

"Thanks for that insight," I said wryly, causing him to laugh again. "There's another issue with your idea, Rosalie. The wolves might just be curious. We've been around the meadow a lot and it's close to their land."

"Edward is right," said Esme. "This is an impossible situation. If we ask her about La Push and she doesn't know anything, she's going to want to know why she's being interrogated. She's such a sweet, innocent girl... She shouldn't be dragged into this world more than she already has been."

"I have a feeling she's already right in the middle of it," Alice announced, strongly agreeing with Rosalie's idea. "We have no clue what Bella is thinking," she added, throwing me a grin. "If she really is as perceptive as Edward says she is, keeping in mind he's probably biased since he cares about her so much, she's probably already suspicious about us."

"Enough, Alice. I'd rather not find out—"

"Please stop arguing," a melodic, authoritative voice chimed from the doorway behind us. We all jumped simultaneously, having been so wrapped up in chaos that we didn't even hear her approaching. It was almost funny that she'd caught us off guard, but more horrifying than anything. How much exactly had she heard?

"Oh, honey," Esme said, clearing her throat habitually. "We were—"

"I meant that there's _no point_ in arguing," she clarified, shooting me a knowing look.

There was something in her eyes that had me wanting to disappear. It suddenly felt as though she was about to confirm my worst nightmare. She seemed more composed than usual; more confident. Not so much like the innocent girl my mom had just described.

"What?" I blurted out, dumbfounded.

"I already know," she replied, ignoring my rude tone and the probable horrified expression on my face. "I already know about La Push, about the wolves, about _you_... I already know everything."

* * *

With Bella, we had learned to expect the unexpected. We hadn't mastered it but we were beginning to not be surprised by it. However, this revelation floored every single one of us, and just about shredded my unbeating heart. What does this mean for us? What does this mean for _her_?

"Let's all take a moment," Carlisle suggested, just as Jasper sent a wave of calm flooding through the living room where we'd all taken refuge after Bella dropped that bomb on us.

I had shamelessly taken this opportunity to sit right by her side on the sofa because, despite the current situation, I didn't want to be anywhere but next to her. It was pathetic really, when considering the length of time I've known she exists, but I didn't care. It didn't matter that she has no idea of the depth and suddenness of my feelings for her, nor that she will never return them; all that matters is her safety.

The future was all distorted and senseless in Alice's head, this had not brought any clarity at all. I knew we would have to return to the subject of the wolves fairly quickly and I had a sickening feeling it was bound to come up in the conversation about to happen.

"So, you know," Emmett said, nodding his head awkwardly. "I wouldn't have guessed."

"That was sort of the idea," she said, and I felt her arm brush mine as she fidgeted in place. It was such a casual action, yet my affection for her had intensified the feelings that arised because of it by tenfold.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Jasper asked, frowning in confusion. He glanced at me out of habit, then looked quickly away when he realised that I couldn't jump into her head for the answer as I would any other person.

"I figured I'm not supposed to know about... _your kind_... but I found out by accident a very long time ago. I didn't know if I could trust you, or if you would hurt me if you knew that I knew, so I didn't say anything."

"Did she actually dupe us?" Emmett asked, guffawing loudly. "That is one smart little human."

Bella laughed along with him and I couldn't help, for one moment, smile. "Besides, I couldn't really bring it up in casual conversation."

"I don't understand how..." I trailed off when her eyes met mine, giving me a look that said she would explain everything.

"This is where La Push comes into it," she said, offering me a timid smile. For some reason, it was clear that this was the part she didn't want to talk about. "I spent every summer on the reservation up until two years ago."

"Which is when we moved here," I informed her, internally begging for her to make sense of all of this for me. "But I've never seen your face in anyone's thoughts, not in town."

"You what?" she asked, raising her eyebrows in surprise. "Did you just say—"

"I'll explain that later," I promised, realising she wouldn't have any idea about _that_. What a moron I am. "Why doesn't anyone in town know of you?"

"Whenever I was here, I wasn't allowed to leave the reservation. I guess none of them told anyone about me. I heard you mention a treaty and if you haven't been around them recently, that'll be why you haven't... _seen_ me in anyone's thoughts."

I laughed because she tried her hardest to say it casually, she truly did, but I didn't miss the small, confused pause she took before the words left her lips. "Sorry," I said when she frowned at my amusement.

"I, uh, I," she looked away from me, a blush suddenly spreading across her cheeks. The sight didn't appeal to me in any way other than the realisation that it set off her pale skin beautifully. I couldn't understand her sudden embarrassment. "Anyway, the last time I was there, there was a bit of a situation."

"What sort of situation?" Carlisle asked, reminding me that it wasn't just Bella and I in the room.

"There was this guy," she said and the start of the sentence had me on edge instantly, for there were multiple directions this could go. If I found out any of those _dogs_ had hurt her, even touched her, there would be hell to pay. "Um, I got into a bit of an altercation with him. He said something about my mom; that she should have saved herself rather than me. I punched him. He phased. I saw the whole thing."

"You..." I shook my head, utterly horrified. "You punched a..."

Emmett's booming laughter echoed around the room and she jumped this time because of the volume, subconsciously leaning into me. Rosalie smacked him in the chest, hard enough that it would have killed a human, and he covered his mouth. He wasn't the only one amused, however, and I realised that I in fact was the only one who didn't find one thing about it funny.

"Okay, before Edward has a heart attack, what happened next?" Jasper asked, raising a single brow at me. _Calm down, idiot, she's fine._ _Clearly._

"I started reading about the Quiliete legends and learned everything I could," she explained, shrugging. "It wasn't until my last ever night there that I heard about your kind. My dad was having an argument with Billy Black down on the beach. They didn't know I'd followed them. It ended up being one of the worst nights of my life."

Her tone, combined with the look on her face when she said this, had me reaching for her hand. It was an action based purely on instinct and I realised, along with my family, that we all had become much more human as a result of having her here. It now felt natural to reach for her; to try to comfort her.

"I don't know exactly how wrapped up in your world my dad is but I know he wasn't happy when Billy told him that a new _vampire_ family had moved to town," she added, only when her hand was in mine. "I didn't know it then but I'm assuming that was you guys."

"Jesus," Rosalie said, her eyes wider than saucers. "We were literally so close to you and we had no idea."

"Yeah," she whispered, clearing her throat. "They were shouting at each other and I knew it was serious, I knew it was _real_ , because they've been friends for most of their lives. I didn't know what to do but I didn't have to think about it too long because one of the wolves caught me there and... I was in lots of trouble that night."

I didn't even want her to expand on that. I didn't want to know what lots of trouble meant for her. My brain felt like it was about to explode because of all the information she was giving us; so far beyond what any of us could have predicted.

"We never went back again," she continued. "And everything just got worse back in Phoenix. My curiosity piqued, however, because something about your kind triggered a rage in my dad I hadn't seen before. I researched, I read, I did everything I could to find out as much as possible, but not much of it made sense. All I really knew for sure was that you existed."

"You say things got worse," Jasper said. "How so?"

"Bella, don't answer that," I told her, shooting daggers into his skull.

"No, it's okay," she said, looking up to meet my gaze again. "It's okay. What he did to me isn't any worse than what you've seen since you met me, and by no means worse than attempted murder. I just meant that he hurt me more often than he did before. Besides, I think the emotional impact was worse than the physical. I felt so alone."

She coughed then, her voice becoming increasingly hoarse because she'd talked so much in the last ten minutes. I hadn't heard her speak more than a sentence at a time at most but this, _this_ was different. She was trusting us with this information and most importantly, I was comforted by the knowledge that she believes we won't harm her.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that on your own, Bella," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I have to ask... Weren't you frightened, when you found out about our kind? When you realised you were in a house with seven _monsters_?"

She shook her head. "My definition of the word monster is _not_ your family, nor your kind. You've all shown me more humanity than any human ever has."

Her words were sincere, pure, and they touched all of us. One could only imagine the horror she had endured for her to see _us_ as the silver lining. However, I realised quickly that all of my family's thoughts were in the same place as mine. There was still so much we didn't know and this girl is in incredible danger, from every direction it could possibly come. This fact had me holding her hand a little tighter.


End file.
